Created For Community

Created For Community

To my new college friends: thank you

End of week three at college update: I am so happy to report that I am not only making friends, but I'm making some of the best friends I've ever had. I had some really great friends in high school, some truly amazing friends. But I also knew some really terrible people, some people who didn't treat me right at all. I had friends that took advantage of me, gossiped and lied about me, and friends who were there for me one day and gone the next. By the end of my senior year I was so tired of the way I was treated by the negative friendships, that I even carelessly burned bridges, and I wasn't sad about it. I was so ready to get out of the same town with the same people and my same reputation and experience something new, and college was such a breath of fresh air.

To my new college friends: Thank you for coming at just the right time. Thank you for coming before I hit the breaking point. You guys accept me and all my baggage with unconditional love, understanding, and support. You don't have anything but nice things to say about me, and about each other. You're there to eat every meal with me and hear all my stories from back home. You embrace my obsessions and think my quirks are funny. You don't judge me if I want to sit this frat party out, or if I'm hitting the quan at Kappa Sigma. Thank you for being a part of this community I am wanting to create here at school.

You know you've found your community when you feel right at home doing anything and everything. When you know that someone always has your back, and will always run across campus when you send an "SOS" text. When you push each other to be better, try harder, and work more towards their goals, and are genuinely happy for each others fortunes and accomplishments.

It feels good to be wanted, to be known, and to be loved. It feels right to be in the midst of those who you love and those who love you because we were created for community. We were created to be one with each other, to live with each other, and to learn from each other. Some like to think of the community as the safety net under a tight rope, there to catch you when you fall, and to keep you confident in your efforts. I like to think of community as the tightrope itself, in that you can't learn the ropes and you can't move forward without it.

If you're immersing in a new community over the next few weeks, embrace that, be excited, and find the people out there for truly value you for who you are. Don't settle for anything less than the community you were created for, because the people who love you and treat you right are out there! Find your tribe and love them hard.

Cover Image Credit: Becca Colehower

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I Drifted But Now I'm Reaching Out

I'm not going to isolate myself anymore.

I’ve noticed that since I started college, I dropped a lot of habits. Some were habits that I really needed to get rid of, such as picking at my nails and snacking way too much. Other habits, though, I really shouldn’t have dropped. Maybe I just got too busy or lazy, or maybe it was just something for the high school me. Yeah, I’ve changed a lot in college but I’m going to try and get back into the good habits I had.

College gave me a lot of time. Suddenly I had all this free time and I realized that it was entirely up to me what I wanted to do with it. The freedom is really great, I won’t deny that, but what I noticed was that I found myself alone a lot.

Maybe it was my intention that some days I just wanted some alone time, but more often than not I found myself realizing that I hadn’t seen or talked to friends in a while. I realized I wasn’t hanging out with people anymore. I was alone.

Now, I know the importance of myself reaching out. Before I always worried that there was a reason I wasn’t seeing or talking to people as often, I mean, there was school so maybe everyone was just busy.

But I feared that I was missing out on so much was because I was unwanted in those moments. After gaining confidence, I've decided won’t isolate myself anymore. I’m an outgoing person, but I won’t be selectively outgoing anymore.

In high school, I could barely go two classrooms down without seeing someone and stopping to talk to them, and I want college to be the same way. It’s really impossible to know everyone at your college but reaching out isn’t that hard for me to do, I’ve just been lazy. I haven’t put in as much effort as I should be putting in and I know that if I want to keep some of the amazing friendships that I currently have, I need to not be distant.

It’s easy to drift away when emotions and events start piling up. Sometimes, the only thing I want to do is just lay in bed and not think about my to-do lists and schedules and problems that I have.

Once I start doing that though, I get sucked in and it becomes so hard to get the energy to get up and move. I don’t want that to be the case anymore. I don’t want to hide away with the “what ifs” and speculation as to why I didn’t go or get invited. From now on, I’m just going to go, and then see what happens.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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To My Best Friends, Thank You

I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you.

I have gone through many friends in the past few years, some that lasted a while some that only lasted a few months, but you know exactly when you found your perfect person, soulmate, best friend, the one that will never get away. It’s the friends that stick with you through the toughest times and stay.

The ones you call at 3:00 a.m. because you got into a fight with your boyfriend and can’t sleep and they stay on the phone until your ready to sleep. The ones that you can count on to pick you up because you need a ride no matter where you are.

Dear Best Friends,

I just wanted to thank you for being you and for letting me be me. Thank you for letting me feel so much like myself when I’m with you. Thank you for sharing in my happiest moments, and for listening to my saddest stories and giving compassion and empathy from wherever you are. Thank you for being the only person I ever want to confide in. Thank you for being the most beautiful person, inside and out.

Thank you for making the world a better place, just by being in it. Thank you for defining selfless, always putting others before yourself, you are going to change the world just as much as you have changed mine. Thank you for all the memories we made at Disney this year on our senior trip. Thank you for practically being my second Mom.

Thank you for setting the bar so high and making it impossible to find another friend as good as you. Thank you for making these past years we have been friends feel like forever and for giving me enough memories to last a lifetime, but not ending there.

Thank you for making me hurt when I miss you, but for taking the hurt away when I see you. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for the absolute privilege of being able to call you my best friend, thank you for being my person. Thank you for giving me these reasons, and a million more, to be thankful for.

I sometimes find myself looking back on my life and realizing how huge of a part you have played in keeping me steady when the rest of my world has been falling apart. How you have known what to say and do in the moments when I have felt all control slipping through my fingers.

Even if it’s just dropping everything and taking me for coffee, shopping and listening to me try to untangle the mess I call my life. Thank you for those days when the rest of the world is against me, for making me feel less alone. For believing every silly dream which enters my head and being excited for me about things which no one else understands. Thank you for always validating my emotions, for taking my side, for telling me when I’m wrong, for being honest.

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