Created For Community

Created For Community

To my new college friends: thank you

End of week three at college update: I am so happy to report that I am not only making friends, but I'm making some of the best friends I've ever had. I had some really great friends in high school, some truly amazing friends. But I also knew some really terrible people, some people who didn't treat me right at all. I had friends that took advantage of me, gossiped and lied about me, and friends who were there for me one day and gone the next. By the end of my senior year I was so tired of the way I was treated by the negative friendships, that I even carelessly burned bridges, and I wasn't sad about it. I was so ready to get out of the same town with the same people and my same reputation and experience something new, and college was such a breath of fresh air.

To my new college friends: Thank you for coming at just the right time. Thank you for coming before I hit the breaking point. You guys accept me and all my baggage with unconditional love, understanding, and support. You don't have anything but nice things to say about me, and about each other. You're there to eat every meal with me and hear all my stories from back home. You embrace my obsessions and think my quirks are funny. You don't judge me if I want to sit this frat party out, or if I'm hitting the quan at Kappa Sigma. Thank you for being a part of this community I am wanting to create here at school.

You know you've found your community when you feel right at home doing anything and everything. When you know that someone always has your back, and will always run across campus when you send an "SOS" text. When you push each other to be better, try harder, and work more towards their goals, and are genuinely happy for each others fortunes and accomplishments.

It feels good to be wanted, to be known, and to be loved. It feels right to be in the midst of those who you love and those who love you because we were created for community. We were created to be one with each other, to live with each other, and to learn from each other. Some like to think of the community as the safety net under a tight rope, there to catch you when you fall, and to keep you confident in your efforts. I like to think of community as the tightrope itself, in that you can't learn the ropes and you can't move forward without it.

If you're immersing in a new community over the next few weeks, embrace that, be excited, and find the people out there for truly value you for who you are. Don't settle for anything less than the community you were created for, because the people who love you and treat you right are out there! Find your tribe and love them hard.

Cover Image Credit: Becca Colehower

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A Letter To Remember Who You Were Before What Happened Last Summer

Your teachings will continue to have an impact and it will be a reminder to enjoy the present, as it is —​ a present.

I remember receiving your last Snapchat, asking me how Germany was. I recall the anxiety I felt with that question and I avoided answering because of where my mental state was. I wanted to say it was the best experience I could have ever asked for or something to express a euphoric state, but the intensity of my current state and memories that were biting every inch of my body prevented me from a desire to respond.

The week I decided to respond to you and everyone that was asking, in a slow manner. I suddenly heard of your absence. You were missing and were being searched for. All I could do was talk to friends for updates and text you in hopes of receiving an answer.

Discovering a day later the truth and realizing you're physically gone was a devastating shock, especially across the globe, the same spot you were supposed to be that same summer.

In some way, you made your presence known that same day. For some reason I ended up at a bakery with pastries of your interest, representing the French culture you adored and the Lana Del Rey song that was playing as I sat down. An indicator that you are never truly gone.

Even after nine months since your passing, I would like to appreciate the individual you were. The appreciation you had for the present moment and your passion to discover the globe, through its locations, people, food and music. In each one of those aspects is where I can relive those memories with you, as can anyone else. I can feel your presence in the style you had, your way of being and the clothing you wore. You have left your imprint in my life and I look forward to reliving these shared memories. Your teachings will continue to have an impact and it will be a reminder to enjoy the present, as it is — a present.

Cover Image Credit: Alan Alatorre-Barajas

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Yes, I Enjoy Clingy

It makes me feel loved.

When people hear the word "clingy", most tend to think of negative connotations with that term.

This is because most people tend to think of only extreme scenarios when it comes to terms like these. They tend to think about friendships and relationships that involve jealousy, insecurity, possessiveness, and even borderline abuse. However, when not going overboard, having friends that are clingy is the best feeling in the world to me. It's a reminder that someone loves and cares about me and would go out of their way to make sure that I feel loved and wanted.

I want to make it clear that I do believe that there are two different types of "clingy."

The first is the type that gives lots of hugs, kisses, and attention and regularly checks up on you to make sure that you're okay. The second type blows up your phone at the most inappropriate times, would get angry if you don't text back right away, and in general, would completely disrespect your boundaries. The latter is the type of clingy I try my absolute hardest to avoid.

I guess that it would vary from person to person. I didn't have that many friends growing up, so I spent most of my life getting ignored. I never truly had that feeling of someone wanting me around and enjoying my company until I was in college. Becoming friends with people who are clingy helped me boost my confidence and encouraged me to be myself. When one begins to know their limits and become more familiar with what their boundaries are, the right amount of clinginess does not seem that bad at all.

I understand why people still have mostly negative connotations when it comes to being clingy.

Many people don't know their limits, and it gives people a negative connotation with clinginess. I do believe that as long as people's boundaries are very clearly established beforehand (and I do mean VERY clearly beforehand), everyone will have a good time without overstepping one's boundaries. Everybody deserves to feel both loved and comfortable at the same time when with someone.

Clinginess does not have to be negative as long as boundaries are established, and it can sometimes be a confidence booster for some like it is to me.

For every person that thinks your clinginess is annoying, there's another person who enjoys your clinginess and wants more of your hugs. And to all my friends that were the right amount of clingy with me, thank you for coming into my life and showing me that I am loved, wanted, appreciated, and that my own hugs give you lots of pride, joy, and confidence.

You are loved, wanted, and appreciated to me too.

Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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