My name is Nicole, and I've been dating my boyfriend Nick for 8 months. Even though we haven't been dating for years and years, we have such a strong bond with one another. And we've learned so much about each other along the way.
We thought that it would be helpful to answer questions from college students who want advice regarding their own relationships. So I hopped on GroupMe and Facebook, and collected questions. Our answers are based on our own experiences together, and our personal knowledge about relationships. Hope this helps!
1. How long is too long to wait before making things official?
Nick: Communication is key, there's nothing wrong with having a talk about it. If he hasn't shown any interest in taking things further, then it may be time to move on... especially if he is avoiding it or gets upset when you try to talk about it. If you two are super into each other, then it'll be a very quick and lovely conversation!
Nicole: I think Nick and I are lucky because we've always been on the same page. We never had to like sit down and define the relationship. That isn't too common. I would say that when you want to progress from one stage to another, you need to have a serious discussion as soon as possible. Will it be awkward? Maybe, but it's important for the other person to know how you're feeling.
2. What is the best advice you can give to people who are starting a relationship?
Nicole: Grow at your own pace. I think there are a lot of ideas about when you should have your first kiss, when you should introduce your S.O. to your friends, etc. But you should do things when you feel ready to do them.
Nick: No relationship can survive or be healthy without communication. Always talk about your feelings. Don't be afraid to be super affectionate and loving. Telling each other everything and communicating will make you so much closer in every way.
3. How do you deal with long distance?
Nicole: We actually had to spend a whole month of our relationship at 2 different ends of the country. It was difficult, but I feel like it also strengthened our bond. We were texting and calling each other all the time. We were keeping each other updated on our lives. You need to give your S.O. reassurance that, regardless of the distance, you're still always about them.
Nick: It is hard to be away from the one person you love and care about more than anything. But you can get through it if you both put in your best effort to see and talk to each other. FaceTiming, calling, and texting as much as possible will make it easier for you.
4. How should your S.O. make you feel?
Nicole: Nick makes me feel special. He makes feel safe and loved. He inspires me to be the best version of myself. He's my best friend and boyfriend. I know that with him by my side, I can do anything.
Nick: Nicole makes me feel beautiful. She makes me more confident in myself and makes me love myself. She makes me feel loved, cared for, trusted, respected, and so much more. She makes me feel like I can do literally anything I set my mind to. I feel stress-free and anxiety-free all because of her. She makes all my problems melt away.
5. How does your boyfriend/girlfriend act in public when you are together?
Nick: We act pretty much the same as if we were alone hanging out together. We are so comfortable with each other and are always in the moment with each other. I am so so proud to be with her and I want everyone to see us together. There's no one I'd rather be with. I am never ever ashamed/embarrassed by her.
Nicole: It's always nerve-wracking when you first begin a relationship and you don't know how they'll react in public with you. But Nick has never been afraid of PDA and has always been himself, regardless of where we go.
6. What is the best song to sing to impress your significant other?
Nick: There are a few songs I would pick to impress Nicole. "Best Part" by Daniel Caesar, "Mercy" by Shawn Mendes, and "Latch" by Sam Smith are my favorites.
Nicole: It's important to choose a song with lyrics that apply to your relationship. Don't just sing a song because you like it. The song you choose needs to have meaning.
7. Is it fair for one person to be doing his/her share in a relationship more than the other?
Nicole: Y'know, people always say that a relationship should be 50/50. I agree that most of the time, it should be. But there are also going to be times that your S.O. will need more love than they usually do. Maybe it's been a bad week and they have a lot of built up stress. In that case, it might be 60/40. You might have to put in a little more effort sometimes, and that's okay, as long as it's not an all-the-time thing.
Nick: The majority of the time, the effort should be equal. Both partners should always feel loved and cared for.
8. How do you know if your significant other is truly the one for you?
Nick: When you can't go a day without thinking about them. When you can't live without them. When your heart and soul instantly hurt the second they leave your side. When you talk about them to everyone you meet. When everything reminds you of them. When you can see yourself in the future marrying them and raising kids with them. You could feel this way about a person 1 month in too, there isn't a required time to develop true love.
Nicole: Before I dated Nick, I couldn't imagine a day past the one I was currently living. But as we were dating, my future became shaped by him. I want to experience everything with him. That's my dream. Plus, my day feels incomplete until I talk to or see Nick.
9. When you're upset about something, do you try to ignore the situation to avoid an argument or speak up about what's bothering you?
Nick: It is so important to be completely honest and open in a relationship. I would speak up about what is bothering you. It may seem like a little thing at the time, but if it keeps happening and you keep bottling it up, it could become a huge issue down the line.
Nicole: Always, always, always be straightforward and honest. Your relationship shouldn't have any secrets. Your feelings are valid and should be shared with your S.O. You need to feel comfortable enough to tell them everything that bothers you.
10. If your partner is feeling sad or depressed, in what ways can you cheer them up and comfort them?
Nicole: I think it's important to just be there for them. Hold them. Get them tissues. Listen to their problems. But if they don't want to talk about what's upsetting them, don't pressure them to.
Nick: Don't leave their side. Give them unconditional love and support. Never judge them for what they are upset about. Do your best to let them know that everything will be okay.
11. Who should apologize first after an argument?
Nicole: I will never assign blame. I don't think that it's productive. In every miscommunication or argument, I think you both should be sorry about something. It's not important who apologizes first, but rather, that you both want to improve.
Nick: I agree with Nicole. It is far more productive and healthy to both apologize for something and try to each fix something. This way, you can grow together and it brings you so much closer emotionally.
12. If your partner breaks up with you after an argument and wants to come back to you, is he or she worth it?
Nick: I guess it all depends on the context. However, if the two of you were really in love and happy before this fight and they were willing to throw it all away just because of one disagreement, then they probably aren't the one for you.
Nicole: A break up is a really serious event. When you break up with someone, you do so with the knowledge that you may never be dating them again. If someone is okay with ruining your relationship after just one argument, then they don't deserve to be with you.