I don’t think there’s a dead set age that I’m writing too, or about. I just wish I really could go back to certain days when the world felt like it was crumbling and my life felt over, to tell myself that it meant nothing.
So listen,
A lot is different since then, as you could probably assume. But everything is actually better than ever, which could be surprising. Where to start?
You know those super awesome friends you have? You’re going to have falling outs with a bunch of them, actually, most of them. Some of those falling outs are your fault and some aren’t. But you know what, you’re doing absolutely fine without them. They were put in your life for a reason. But don’t worry, you still have friends. The best, actually.
Occasionally, you still reach out to some of the old ones, like on birthdays. You wish that things were different, but it’s not, and things probably won’t ever be the same. Sorry to be depressing. Basically, all I’m trying to say is to take everything as a lesson and learn from it. Everything happens for a reason.
Looking back, you really do miss some of the friends you lost. And when I say “lost” it sounds like they’re six feet in the ground. But they’re alive and well. Come to think of it, maybe it’s not such a bad thing to reach out to them more than once a year.
Maybe this is advice I should take for myself now.
Okay, moving on.
There are a lot of mottos and phrases that I live by. The two most important ones are “It is what it is,” and “If they really wanted too, they would have.” There is going to be a lot in your life that pisses you off, upsets you, or just generally hurts your feelings. While at the same time, there is going to be a lot in your life that, as much as you hate it, is out of your control. People will do and say things that you have absolutely no control over, and there’s nothing you can do about it. It is what it is.
There will also be times where you feel not important, or unwanted. Again, out of your control. At the end of the day, ask yourself, “was there anything else I could’ve done to make the situation different?” Odds are, you did most to everything you could, and if you didn’t, don’t beat yourself up about it because at the end of the day, if they really wanted too, they would have.
Don’t pin everything on yourself.
It’s okay to be upset from time to time about things.
It’s a human emotion to be upset and negative. You don’t have to be a radiating ball of sunshine all the time. While it’s completely acceptable to get upset, don’t work yourself up over things that really don’t matter. This goes for everything under the sun. School, home, work, etc. You’re a perfectionist and you hold yourself to a super high standard. And that’s okay. Don’t let anyone make you feel that your sense of control and determination are a bad thing that needs to be changed. You’re working towards a business degree, by the way. So a good sense of control and the drive to be a leader work out in your favor.
It’s okay to occasionally stop holding yourself to a high standard. You’re not perfect. Reminder: no one is. You hold yourself to this high standard because you know you’re better than that. So when you’re stressed out and everyone tells you that “it’ll be okay”, they’re right, but you’re not wrong for wanting to prove it. You overcome every obstacle that felt impossible, and you became stronger because of it.
Appreciate the small things, because life really does fly by. Everyone says that and you’ll brush it off, but it’s the godforsaken truth.
Because one day you’ll be twenty-one years old and wishing you really could go back and tell yourself what you know now.
Love always, yours truly.