How You Should Cope After A Break Up

How You Should Cope After A Break Up

Allow it to make you better not bitter.
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A breakup.

From the wise words of Coldplay, "nobody said it was easy; no one ever said it would be this hard." Breakups are not an easy situation nor topic. They're complicated, messy, and sometimes ugly. It makes no difference if you were together for a few months or a few years, any break up is difficult. It's truly an emotional roller coaster. You go through stages of anger, sadness, and eventually acceptance. Regardless, you realize you're losing not only someone you were dating, but a best friend as well.

It's frustrating because you invest so much of your time and energy into someone only to watch it crumble at your feet. The catch is the breakup isn't the hard part, it's the moments that follow. It's coming home and crying on your bed at 1 a.m. and going days without eating because you can't stomach the thought of losing someone close to you. You'll feel pain, loads of it...but this pain is temporary.

One day you will wake up and it'll hurt a little less than it did the day before. You may stumble across something throughout the day that reminds you of them, but eventually it won't leave you crying. It's about acceptance.

It's important to remember how you once felt about that person. Regardless of the anger or disappointment you feel right now, you still shared a life with them. You cared enough about them to let them into your little world and experience it with you. You gave them a piece of you and they did the same.

Remember this. Remember to treat your ex with the same respect and kindness you showed them throughout your relationship. There is no reason to trash talk your partner or even tell them how cold-hearted they now seem. It may not seem like they're hurting as well, but some people are just better at hiding it.

Instead of destroying any attempt to be civil with one another after a break up, invest time in yourself. Now is the chance to improve upon yourself. If you two are lucky enough to stay in each other's lives as friends, don't take it for granted. Listen to the issues you both had within your relationship, and improve from them. While some things may be misinterpreted during the heat of the moment and hurtful words will be thrown around, focus on the lesson.

Each relationship you have is a lesson in itself. They were never a mistake because at one point it was exactly what you needed. You may have outgrown one another or just couldn't find a way to make it work; nevertheless, you mattered to each other.

Handle your breakup with maturity. Don't keep going back to argue over the same issue with your ex. The relationship you had is a wound on your heart and it takes time to heal. Understand that constantly coming back to it will only worsen the damage. Find the same compassion you once had for that person and allow one another to cope.

Regardless of how things may end, being in a relationship is an amazing experience. It can be filled with some of the happiest moments of your life. Cherish these moments and hold on to them. Remember the good times you shared with that person and the crazy memories you made along the way. Remember them as they were before your breakup.

Let yourself grow and feel joy in watching them grow as well. Never allow a breakup to make you bitter, always better.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
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Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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He Broke Your Heart? Don't Get Revenge, Keep It Classy

This is your reminder

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Okay, so he broke your heart, he left you without a second thought and he never looked back. He left you broken and confused. You are hurting and will do anything to numb the pain, but you also want him to feel the same pain you are feeling.

You want him to regret his decision, to realize what he is missing, that nobody is as good as you. You want him to realize that he lost the best thing that he will ever have.

The best way to make him regret losing you is by showing him how strong and confident you are. The best thing to do is to do what you do best, and that is to be yourself. Continue to move on with your life. Work hard at work and in school. Make him notice your success.

Do not be the girl who stays in her pajamas, can't get out of bed and crying over him on a daily basis. As hard as it is, you need to pick yourself up and move on.

If he sees that you are able to continue on with your life, he will regret his decision even more. It will hurt him to know that you were able to move on without a second thought. Leave him wondering. Make him think that you are not shaken by losing him.

In reality, you are broken and hardly able to put one foot in front of the other, but he doesn't need to know that.

Your silence will be the best revenge there is.

Do not call him or contact him in any way. If he really cares, if he really wants you, he will come back to you.

If he is the one for you, if he is the man that you are meant to marry and spend the rest of your life with, he will come back to you. If he is not meant for you, then someone better will come along. But until then, be the best version of yourself you can be.

When your heart is broken, it is easy to be petty. You want him to feel bad for hurting you. You want him to hurt as much as he hurt you. You want him to realize his mistake, and you will do whatever it takes to make him feel that way. You post on social media, talk to his friends, you try to get any information on him that you can because it kills you inside to think that he could be fine with losing you.

The best thing to do is leave it in the past, focus on yourself and realize that everything happens for a reason and your prince will come. It takes patience. Show him and everyone else how strong you are by keeping it classy and showing him how classy you are will make him rethink his decision.

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