From the wise words of Coldplay, "nobody said it was easy; no one ever said it would be this hard." Breakups are not an easy situation nor topic. They're complicated, messy, and sometimes ugly. It makes no difference if you were together for a few months or a few years, any break up is difficult. It's truly an emotional roller coaster. You go through stages of anger, sadness, and eventually acceptance. Regardless, you realize you're losing not only someone you were dating, but a best friend as well.
It's frustrating because you invest so much of your time and energy into someone only to watch it crumble at your feet. The catch is the breakup isn't the hard part, it's the moments that follow. It's coming home and crying on your bed at 1 a.m. and going days without eating because you can't stomach the thought of losing someone close to you. You'll feel pain, loads of it...but this pain is temporary.
One day you will wake up and it'll hurt a little less than it did the day before. You may stumble across something throughout the day that reminds you of them, but eventually it won't leave you crying. It's about acceptance.
It's important to remember how you once felt about that person. Regardless of the anger or disappointment you feel right now, you still shared a life with them. You cared enough about them to let them into your little world and experience it with you. You gave them a piece of you and they did the same.
Remember this. Remember to treat your ex with the same respect and kindness you showed them throughout your relationship. There is no reason to trash talk your partner or even tell them how cold-hearted they now seem. It may not seem like they're hurting as well, but some people are just better at hiding it.
Instead of destroying any attempt to be civil with one another after a break up, invest time in yourself. Now is the chance to improve upon yourself. If you two are lucky enough to stay in each other's lives as friends, don't take it for granted. Listen to the issues you both had within your relationship, and improve from them. While some things may be misinterpreted during the heat of the moment and hurtful words will be thrown around, focus on the lesson.
Each relationship you have is a lesson in itself. They were never a mistake because at one point it was exactly what you needed. You may have outgrown one another or just couldn't find a way to make it work; nevertheless, you mattered to each other.
Handle your breakup with maturity. Don't keep going back to argue over the same issue with your ex. The relationship you had is a wound on your heart and it takes time to heal. Understand that constantly coming back to it will only worsen the damage. Find the same compassion you once had for that person and allow one another to cope.
Regardless of how things may end, being in a relationship is an amazing experience. It can be filled with some of the happiest moments of your life. Cherish these moments and hold on to them. Remember the good times you shared with that person and the crazy memories you made along the way. Remember them as they were before your breakup.
Let yourself grow and feel joy in watching them grow as well. Never allow a breakup to make you bitter, always better.