How You Should Cope After A Break Up

How You Should Cope After A Break Up

Allow it to make you better not bitter.
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A breakup.

From the wise words of Coldplay, "nobody said it was easy; no one ever said it would be this hard." Breakups are not an easy situation nor topic. They're complicated, messy, and sometimes ugly. It makes no difference if you were together for a few months or a few years, any break up is difficult. It's truly an emotional roller coaster. You go through stages of anger, sadness, and eventually acceptance. Regardless, you realize you're losing not only someone you were dating, but a best friend as well.

It's frustrating because you invest so much of your time and energy into someone only to watch it crumble at your feet. The catch is the breakup isn't the hard part, it's the moments that follow. It's coming home and crying on your bed at 1 a.m. and going days without eating because you can't stomach the thought of losing someone close to you. You'll feel pain, loads of it...but this pain is temporary.

One day you will wake up and it'll hurt a little less than it did the day before. You may stumble across something throughout the day that reminds you of them, but eventually it won't leave you crying. It's about acceptance.

It's important to remember how you once felt about that person. Regardless of the anger or disappointment you feel right now, you still shared a life with them. You cared enough about them to let them into your little world and experience it with you. You gave them a piece of you and they did the same.

Remember this. Remember to treat your ex with the same respect and kindness you showed them throughout your relationship. There is no reason to trash talk your partner or even tell them how cold-hearted they now seem. It may not seem like they're hurting as well, but some people are just better at hiding it.

Instead of destroying any attempt to be civil with one another after a break up, invest time in yourself. Now is the chance to improve upon yourself. If you two are lucky enough to stay in each other's lives as friends, don't take it for granted. Listen to the issues you both had within your relationship, and improve from them. While some things may be misinterpreted during the heat of the moment and hurtful words will be thrown around, focus on the lesson.

Each relationship you have is a lesson in itself. They were never a mistake because at one point it was exactly what you needed. You may have outgrown one another or just couldn't find a way to make it work; nevertheless, you mattered to each other.

Handle your breakup with maturity. Don't keep going back to argue over the same issue with your ex. The relationship you had is a wound on your heart and it takes time to heal. Understand that constantly coming back to it will only worsen the damage. Find the same compassion you once had for that person and allow one another to cope.

Regardless of how things may end, being in a relationship is an amazing experience. It can be filled with some of the happiest moments of your life. Cherish these moments and hold on to them. Remember the good times you shared with that person and the crazy memories you made along the way. Remember them as they were before your breakup.

Let yourself grow and feel joy in watching them grow as well. Never allow a breakup to make you bitter, always better.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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5 Perks Of Having A Long-Distance Best Friend

The best kind of long-distance relationship.
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Sometimes, people get annoyed when girls refer to multiple people as their "best friend," but they don't understand. We have different types of best friends. There's the going out together best friend, the see each other everyday best friend and the constant, low maintenance best friend.

While I'm lucky enough to have two out of the three at the same school as me, my "low maintenance" best friend goes to college six hours from Baton Rouge.

This type of friend is special because no matter how long you go without talking or seeing each other, you're always insanely close. Even though I miss her daily, having a long-distance best friend has its perks. Here are just a few of them...

1. Getting to see each other is a special event.

Sometimes when you see someone all the time, you take that person and their friendship for granted. When you don't get to see one of your favorite people very often, the times when you're together are truly appreciated.

2. You always have someone to give unbiased advice.

This person knows you best, but they probably don't know the people you're telling them about, so they can give you better advice than anyone else.

3. You always have someone to text and FaceTime.

While there may be hundreds of miles between you, they're also just a phone call away. You know they'll always be there for you even when they can't physically be there.

4. You can plan fun trips to visit each other.

When you can visit each other, you get to meet the people you've heard so much about and experience all the places they love. You get to have your own college experience and, sometimes, theirs, too.

5. You know they will always be a part of your life.

If you can survive going to school in different states, you've both proven that your friendship will last forever. You both care enough to make time for the other in the midst of exams, social events, and homework.

The long-distance best friend is a forever friend. While I wish I could see mine more, I wouldn't trade her for anything.

Cover Image Credit: Just For Laughs-Chicago

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6 Ways For Men To Understand Women

The introduction. Let's face it, there's WAY more than 6.

JordynL
JordynL
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We know we're confusing, but hopefully this helps you understand us a little better.

1. "I have nothing to wear"

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We realize that we have a ton of clothes in our closets to choose from. We know that some things are super similar. We know that there are some things we wear all the time and other things that we NEVER wear. Regardless of the Go-Tos or "I'm saving this for a 'special occasion'" (which will probably never happen), there's always an excuse. When we say we have nothing to wear, it means that we don't have anything that we WANT to wear.

This contributes to us taking SO long to get ready. Whether it's a date, a night out with the girls, hanging out with a group, or just another Tuesday, we never have anything to wear. We try to dress to match our mood, but that's still not a guarantee. It never is. If we try something on, thinking that it'll work, there's always something wrong with it SO it goes in the reject pile. As the pile grows, we reach the "I have nothing to wear" stage.

And just to make things more complicated and annoying, we go back to the first outfit we tried on and call it good -OR resort to the Go-Tos that we wear WAY too much- (at least I normally do). We waste all that time and effort and there's usually no way to get around it.

2. Periods

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Guys, let me explain to you how a period works.

Every month, our Uterus starts decorating a nursery. "Just wanted to let you know I have everything prepared for the baby! The nursery looks great and I picked out this pretty wallpaper and I'm gonna read stories to it every night!"

Then we come around and say "Oh.. There's not going to be a baby this month.."

Uterus: ......

Us: "Oh god, please no"

Uterus: .... *trashes everything* *rips off the wallpaper* *screams like an angry baboon*

THIS gentlemen, is what we have to go through. Every time we get a cramp, it's basically our uterus stabbing us with broken pieces of the crib and twisting it. This is why we double over. This is why some (maybe most) women cry during their periods. Our uterus throws a freaking temper tantrum when we don't get pregnant.

By the time the uterus gets tired and forgives us, it goes back to setting up a new nursery with upmost excitement. And when we don't get pregnant, the cycle repeats.

Wanna know what to do? Don't make us do anything. Pamper us. Most women like to eat chocolate, so do that (for some reason, that doesn't work for me, but oh well). Have the heating pad ready to go. Ice cream. Even while we look disgusting, reassure us. The uterus' temper tantrum makes us question everything so be ready for that.

But God help you if you say the wrong thing. Most of the time, we don't know what that wrong thing will be, so tread lightly. Just do NOT say ANYTHING about PMSing. Our uterus will hear that and give us some of that hateful energy to rip you apart.

You have been warned.

3. Unsolicited dick pics

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Just don't. Despite what you think, they are NOT aesthetically pleasing.

When a girl actually asks for them and/or agrees to swap nudes, that's the only time it's okay. But if they're anything like me, the pictures still won't do anything for them. I guess it's to make y'all feel wanted and appreciated? I don't know.

If you send unsolicited dick pics, there's a pretty good chance that her girlfriends will see the pictures so be warned.

4. Hoodie Theft

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Sorry guys, there's no way to get around this one. If your girl takes your hoodie, you probably won't get it back.

And if you try to out-smart us by getting two of the exact same hoodie so both of us have one, that won't work either. You foolish mortals think we won't take the second-twinning hoodie too? HA.

5. You: "Where do you want to eat?' Her: "I don't know"

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I HAVE YOUR SOLUTION.

Instead of asking your girl where she wants to eat, MAKE HER GUESS where you're taking her. Her first guess is where y'all are going.

The code has been cracked and most girls don't even realize this sneaky trick (unless they've seen the Twitter meme).

6. The silent treatment

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Honestly... when we're giving you the silent treatment, USUALLY it's because we want you to figure out what you did wrong for yourselves. But it makes this difficult because sometimes we don't even know the reason. Stupid? I know. But we're girls. What do you expect?

We're waiting for you to come up with a solution to whatever problem we think you caused. Because we're right. Even when we're wrong, we're right.

You've probably found with personal experience that you've always found a way to screw it up and you don't even know how. She freaks out for almost no reason and usually never shares why she's so pissed off.

If you don't wanna take the chance on finding the solution because of even the slightest fear of making it worse SOMEHOW, just chill. Spend time with her, don't do anything stupid on your phone, don't play games online with the guys- just spend time with her. It'll let her know that even though she's freaking out for probably no reason, that you still care. Because what'll happen if you leave? "OH SO YOU'RE JUST GONNA GET UP AND LEAVE?"

You guys are honestly in a lose-lose situation and I feel for y'all so much. If you know her well enough to leave and let her calm down, then go for it- at your own risk. Just handle the situation calmly and be like "if you need anything, just call or text me. I'll be there."

DO NOT TELL HER TO CALM DOWN, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

Just give her space SOMEHOW and let her chill. She'll more than likely be over it the next day.

I know this whole thing is giving you mixed messages on what to do, but honestly we don't really know what we want you guys to do, so there you go.

This may help, this may not, but it's a decent start. :)

JordynL
JordynL

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