We wear the mask that grins and lies,

It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—

This debt we pay to human guile;

With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,

And mouth with myriad subtleties.

Why should the world be over-wise,

In counting all our tears and sighs?

Nay, let them only see us, while

We wear the mask.

We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries

To thee from tortured souls arise.

We sing, but oh the clay is vile

Beneath our feet, and long the mile;

But let the world dream otherwise,

We wear the mask!

Paul Laurence Dunbar

I have come to realize that I tend to write about things that aren't always so light and happy. It isn't because I have a hard life, but because I sometimes a life of pretending to be something I am quite not. I assume that we all at times pretend that our lives are a lot more than it truly is, but it is something that I continue to look back at and it comes up in my writing so much.

I have come to realize that maybe it is time to shed off the past and move towards the future. I go back and forth between moving forward and moving backwards. I wear a mask because of where I thought I should have been and where I was. However, Maya Angelou says it best, "If you must look back, do so forgivingly. If you must look forward, do so prayerfully. However, the wisest thing you can do is be present in the present... gratefully."

So, what I need to do is look at my past forgivingly. I need to remember that I have grown a lot from that high school girl that was unaware of the world and all of the regrets that come from past mistakes. I do need to remember that the future is something completely unknown to me. It is an unwritten story [insert many songs about unwritten stories here] that I have to be hopeful about. One that I am not sure what will happen, but I will not allow the past to warp it to something that it does not have to be. However, my focus should be on the present and trying to make it better. I have already talked about moving towards the future, but before that actually happens I need to actually delve into my past and get my life together.

So, why the poem? Well, it comes from a time when some people had to live a life where they hid their feelings. They were not allowed to share their true thoughts and feelings to what was happening around them, but instead they were forced to put on a smile and pretend it was all good. Well, I have decided that is not at all what I want to do with my life. Instead, I want to live true to my emotions. I want to be real with what is going on in my life and work my hardest to make sure that I don't allow what is going on around me to be in control of my feelings.

And that my friends is a real talk with Mojo.