Her: I had a dream where there was a person hiding under my bed sheets. The light was on in my closet and when I laid down, I thought it was next to a person I knew. Then, they started to attack me. They were trying to slit my throat with a knife.

In another dream, I ran into this woman on a staircase, in my old school, and she called me a drunk driver. I was wearing a shirt with an expression and stood by a pile of clean towels.

I told her, “I’m not a drunk driver. I had an allergic reaction while I was driving and could have died. I was trying to pull over when I recognized that something was wrong."

If someone suffered anaphylactic-shock from a peanut while driving, would you call them a drunk driver?
Or, what about a seizure? Is that person a drunk driver too?

People should not blame a person for having an allergy or medical condition that was beyond their control!

"That is defamation and it is illegal!”I screamed.

A nurse was seated near her and agreed. “It’s true. That is an allergy,” she said.

The woman walked off after I stood up to her and called her a name.

He: That means that someone is defaming you. It’s a woman you’ve worked for.

Her: What can I do?

He: It happens every day. There’s not much you can do about it.

Defamation is something that happens every day, many times to good and honest people. Slander, spoken, and libel, written, are different. What they both have in common is that they are untrue.

Libel is written word, while slander is spoken.

No matter how someone might try and defame another person by acting justified, they are actually the worse of the two people. They are openly perpetuating a civil wrong.

"Actual malice" means that the person who made the statement knew it wasn't true, or didn't care whether it was true or not and was reckless with the truth -- for example, when someone has doubts about the truth of a statement but does not bother to check further before publishing it.

One could rebuke the defamer and openly call them out because of their defamatory actions and would be free from blame. Because, by calling a slanderer out, even if it negatively effects that person, the information is still true. You can even tell people that they are liars, and you would be immune to any repercussions because your statements are valid.

Defamatory remarks that are said or written, even though they are false, are meant to discredit the person being spoken or written about. If the remarks do not necessarily harm the person being besmirched, then defamation really hasn’t sunk in yet.

But, if a person finds themselves without a job because of defamatory statements made about them, then they have a good case to prove they have been wronged.

Defamation can effect livelihoods in other ways. For instance, if someone slanders another person by saying they have an STD, and therefore, they can’t find a relationship, it’s the same thing.

Defamation is anything that attempts to alienate the person being slandered. The aim is to make them an outcast.

Many times, people may not realize they have been targeted until people start treating them differently. They notice that even though something should be a certain way, for the life of them, it isn’t.

This action is insidious.

There have been many stories online of people who were good people, just going about doing their thing, then someone came along and started publicly blaming them for things that were false. Eventually, people lost businesses, friends and financial stability.

If defamation were a key, then it would go to a lock that is responsible for making any American or citizen perfectly happy. A dream job, great home and family can be completely wiped out due to defamatory statements. And that in itself, makes it a truly despicable thing.

So, what does one do if they find themselves being defamed?

Stand up and face the facts. Be confident and tell the truth.

It’s important to know "who" is saying "what" about you. Once, you can prove that a person has been saying untrue things about you and that their statements have affected you in a negative and oftentimes, crippling way, you can sue them.

It’s as simple as that.

Why do people defame?

Jealousy, insecurity, competition, pettiness………these are a few of the reasons that come to mind.

None of them make defaming another person right.

People who are most susceptible to defamation are usually just entering the workforce or new to an area, where spreading non truths about another person, who is unknown, is much more effective.

But, even established people can be defamed rather ruthlessly.

So, what can we do about it as a community?

Speak up! If someone says something, like in the example, ask them for proof of their accusation or statements.

Defamatory comments can never be proven, because they are false.

Then, it really might help to remind the person making the comment that is disparaging without proof.

You could say something like,

“You know, that comment is liable to have negative repercussions for Mr. or Ms. X and unless you know it is true, you might end up being responsible for slandering a good person’s name. Do you really want to be responsible for that?"

My thought is most people don’t want to be responsible for something like that, but they need to be held accountable, in order to see their comments for what they really are.

It’s relatively easy to make false accusations or statements about another person, but it is rather hard to see how these comments might really harm another person, unless you are them.

Think very carefully before you speak or write, even online. The bigger the lie, the greater the consequence.

Don’t say negative things about a person, unless you have a good reason or you feel that it is important. Even so, make absolutely certain that what you say is true.

Like it or not, it isn’t ok to play with the lives of other people and if they are innocent, they can come back and sue you for slander or libel.

If that happens, people will be less likely to believe anything you will ever say about another person in the future and your credibility will get flushed down the pipes.

In the end, it is the slanderer found guilty who will spend the rest of their life trying to convince people that they aren’t lying, like that last time, and any short term satisfaction they got from defamation will be totally pointless, when or if, they are made to pay a large sum of money to the person they smeared. #yikes