Anxiety and depression, they come in all shapes and forms. For me, it feels like a ton of bricks sitting on my chest, not eating, and making myself physically ill. For others, it may be something else; asking lots of questions, sleeping too much/less, panic attacks, rapid heartbeat. It comes at random times and may stay for days. But after years of dealing with it, I decided it was time for myself to take control.
It's not as easy as it sounds and bad days can still come around, but it was time to take the reins on my own life. It's a miserable situation watching your mood stay at an all-time low for days or weeks at a time because of mental illness. It's even worse when that horrible mood you're in is affecting your loved ones or making you miss out on adventurers with your friends. Mental illness is a nasty monster, one that controls many of us and it's time we start recognizing it and trying to control it.
I decided to stop letting my anxiety and depression control me when I realized how much I was missing out on. My mental illness had me missing out on hanging with my friends, spending time with my family, and enjoying things I loved to do. I have a beautiful daughter and a fantastic husband, and they deserve the best version of myself, which meant it was time to kick my mental illness' butt! I was fed up letting hormones control my decisions, and my emotions and I was tired of feeling weak. I had dealt with it for years but never did anything about it. But after having my daughter, post-partum depression affected my mental illness and made it worse. So with the help of my loved ones and doctor, I figured out ways to slowly take my life back. I take a low dose of medication to help along with staying busy with school and hobbies (I enjoy like reading and writing), focused, and positive (as cheesy as it sounds). Every day I make progress, no matter if it's a bad day or not because I'm trying.
It's a hard battle going against mental illness. It takes a lot of patience. It's all about finding what works for yourself. The worst thing is hearing from people who have no clue about mental illness but tell you what you need to do or tell you just to relax and roll it off your back. Mental illness is different for every person affected. It's a controlling and demanding devil. But it's important to take control, to be in charge of your own emotions. Mental illness needs to be talked about more, given more attention to, and not perceived as a taboo topic.
It's rewarding getting mental illness controlled, but it's also okay to still struggle. But it's important to know that mental illness is just a disease, not your identity.