How to Control Your Feelings With "Ctrl"

How to Control Your Feelings With "Ctrl"

Control what YOU can control, and just do your best with the rest.

I am writing this while listening to SZA’s “Ctrl.”

What’s going on in your life? I’m sure if you’re like me, then you have no friggin clue. If we’re being honest though, nothing is ever going to keep you down forever and it just takes time. But frick that sometimes ya know. How are you supposed to deal with what is going on right now? Especially when it feels like a lot.

Control what YOU can control, and just do your best with the rest.

I have a story to tell you about how I controlled my feelings.

SIKE, you definitely cannot control feelings. BUT you can control your REACTION to them.

For example, and yes I’m still a little heated, I lost my phone recently and it had all of my stuff (debit card, ID, student ID, etc). So, needless to say, I was freaking out, but that didn’t help my situation so I had to approach it with a level head, but that doesn’t mean exasperated yelling didn’t happen beforehand.

The worst part was they asked for $50 for it and referenced that they had someone wanting to buy it for $80. So I was like wow, I’m really dealing with a true savage right now who has no regard for common decency and clearly lacks basic empathy.

If I were to find someone else’s phone, wallet, or whatever then I would just want it returned to them..because it is THEIRS. I would imagine myself in the same situation and just want to make sure they got what is theirs. But, I had to remember everyone isn’t like me. You can’t expect people to hold all of your values, even if they feel inherent to you.

So I decided to look at it in a different way. Through our correspondence, I don’t even know his name, by the way, he mentioned that he didn’t have any more minutes on his phone and therefore couldn’t talk to me over the phone about things, so we had to text.

He was being super sketchy and basically demanded that I pay him. He had all my sh*t, so what was I supposed to do? And calling the cops didn’t seem like the move, so naturally, I agreed so he wouldn’t just sell it to the other person for $80. So I am mulling over all of this in the uber to find him at the LA Convention Center, weird meeting place, and still, don’t know how I want to take it. I still wanted to be mad. But I was trying to be nice, maybe he really needed that money.

Then when I meet with him, he immediately says that he is “sorry” and that he needed the money. So I was thinking to myself, dude.

Do you think I don’t?

Me and “needed the money” are best friends in my book... maybe more so frenemies cuz I’m kind of mad at her right now, but that’s a different topic. Either way, he just assumed that I had this much money to be throwing around for something that is MINE anyway.

But then I kept thinking... I was the one who had decided that calling the cops was too much to deal with. I just wanted my stuff back quickly, and I had to deal with the decision that I made. I did not just have the means to casually throw away money. But it was a necessity at this point.

So I decided to try and look for how this situation could be a positive experience. I looked for a meaning behind the annoyance and found something kind of comforting.

I thought about how the things that happen in life don’t make sense, but maybe you can find sense out of the randomness.

I bet that extra $50 was really beneficial to him. I didn’t tell him it was fake money, but he’ll find out...LOL I wish but yeah, maybe he can buy some more minutes for his phone (I threw that shade at him when I got my phone back, he deserved that tho).

What I’m trying to say is that if you take annoying or bad situations and try to find out how you’re growing from it and/or helping someone else instead of just being mad, it might help deal with the seething anger and allow you to be more in control of your response to intense emotions.

I don’t personally think it’s possible to completely control your feelings, but it is more feasible to control the reaction you have to those feelings..try it! The album just finished up so I think I'll cut it here.

Until next time, I’m off to cancel my debit cards. Life ROCKS!

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8 Things That Happened 8 Years Ago

Do you remember all these trends?

2010 was an interesting, unforgettable year for many reasons. As time flies by, it's insane to think 2010 was already 8 years ago!

Here are 8 things that happened 8 years ago.

1. The Social Network

The surprisingly good movie about Facebook? Yeah, 8 years old.

2. Simon Cowell Leaves American Idol

The only thing more disappointing and damaging for the American Idol franchise than this is the fact that it’s still running AND has Katy Perry judging. Gross. Sidenote though... This was also the same year Ellen judged for that one time, so... we liked that.

3. Lady Gaga's Meat Dress (VMAs)

We love an icon.

4. Toy Story 3

THIS STILL ISN’T OVER EITHER. Lookout for Toy Story 4 next year...but who could REALLY complain??

5. Bluetooth Tarantula

Were you thinking that you were going to find out there’s a Tarantula that can not only kill you but also wirelessly play its favorite song “Itsy Bitsy Spider” while doing so? WELL, I’m sorry. They just have a beautiful set of CHOMPAHS.

6. Old Spice Guy

The towel? The sculpted body? You remember.

7. Antoine Dodson “Bed Intruder”

Catch this remix of the viral news interview...I know every word.

8. Larry Platt “Pants on the Ground”

A personal favorite...

Hope this didn’t make you too aware of the ever-quickening propulsion of time, but it’s funny to watch life come and go.

What will you remember 8 years from today?

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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On The Metro

so much anxiety

Having moved to LA two years ago, I'm not ashamed to say that I've only recently had my first lone experience on the metro. Trust me, I know that using public transportation is super common and normal, but whenever I try something new, I kinda internally freak out a little.

So here were my thoughts...

"Wow, can't believe I'm finally doing this"

"Ok, if I plan this out I can get to my job in 30 minutes"

"Should I do a practice run?...omg girl chillax it's not that complicated"

"Wait...where am I? ARghh I just traveled in a large circle"

"WOW I can't even find the stop"

"Ugh, this would not be happening if I had a car...I wonder how much...nah can't afford it"

"Remember, go on the one that's heading west"


"OOh I feel so cool, tapping in like that"

"Do people even tap in anymore? Do I look like the naive little duck that I am?"

"Oh well, this goes towards supporting the system anyways"

"it's here, it's here, it's here....ahhhh stop moving so I can board"

"Okay look super chill while you're finding a seat...aaaand just sat next to someone when there are a bunch of empty seats around"

"urrrrrgggg, can't even move now"

"time to people watch! crap, made eye contact, look away, BUT NOT TOO OBVIOUSLY"

"where are we now? DID I MISS MY STOP"

"Finally here, that wasn't so bad"

"Oh no I'm stuck at this exit...nvm I don't need to Tap to go out...stupid"

"Definitely ready to do this every other day"

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