How to Control Your Feelings With "Ctrl"

How to Control Your Feelings With "Ctrl"

Control what YOU can control, and just do your best with the rest.
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I am writing this while listening to SZA’s “Ctrl.”

What’s going on in your life? I’m sure if you’re like me, then you have no friggin clue. If we’re being honest though, nothing is ever going to keep you down forever and it just takes time. But frick that sometimes ya know. How are you supposed to deal with what is going on right now? Especially when it feels like a lot.

Control what YOU can control, and just do your best with the rest.

I have a story to tell you about how I controlled my feelings.

SIKE, you definitely cannot control feelings. BUT you can control your REACTION to them.

For example, and yes I’m still a little heated, I lost my phone recently and it had all of my stuff (debit card, ID, student ID, etc). So, needless to say, I was freaking out, but that didn’t help my situation so I had to approach it with a level head, but that doesn’t mean exasperated yelling didn’t happen beforehand.

The worst part was they asked for $50 for it and referenced that they had someone wanting to buy it for $80. So I was like wow, I’m really dealing with a true savage right now who has no regard for common decency and clearly lacks basic empathy.

If I were to find someone else’s phone, wallet, or whatever then I would just want it returned to them..because it is THEIRS. I would imagine myself in the same situation and just want to make sure they got what is theirs. But, I had to remember everyone isn’t like me. You can’t expect people to hold all of your values, even if they feel inherent to you.

So I decided to look at it in a different way. Through our correspondence, I don’t even know his name, by the way, he mentioned that he didn’t have any more minutes on his phone and therefore couldn’t talk to me over the phone about things, so we had to text.

He was being super sketchy and basically demanded that I pay him. He had all my sh*t, so what was I supposed to do? And calling the cops didn’t seem like the move, so naturally, I agreed so he wouldn’t just sell it to the other person for $80. So I am mulling over all of this in the uber to find him at the LA Convention Center, weird meeting place, and still, don’t know how I want to take it. I still wanted to be mad. But I was trying to be nice, maybe he really needed that money.

Then when I meet with him, he immediately says that he is “sorry” and that he needed the money. So I was thinking to myself, dude.

Do you think I don’t?

Me and “needed the money” are best friends in my book... maybe more so frenemies cuz I’m kind of mad at her right now, but that’s a different topic. Either way, he just assumed that I had this much money to be throwing around for something that is MINE anyway.

But then I kept thinking... I was the one who had decided that calling the cops was too much to deal with. I just wanted my stuff back quickly, and I had to deal with the decision that I made. I did not just have the means to casually throw away money. But it was a necessity at this point.

So I decided to try and look for how this situation could be a positive experience. I looked for a meaning behind the annoyance and found something kind of comforting.

I thought about how the things that happen in life don’t make sense, but maybe you can find sense out of the randomness.

I bet that extra $50 was really beneficial to him. I didn’t tell him it was fake money, but he’ll find out...LOL I wish but yeah, maybe he can buy some more minutes for his phone (I threw that shade at him when I got my phone back, he deserved that tho).

What I’m trying to say is that if you take annoying or bad situations and try to find out how you’re growing from it and/or helping someone else instead of just being mad, it might help deal with the seething anger and allow you to be more in control of your response to intense emotions.

I don’t personally think it’s possible to completely control your feelings, but it is more feasible to control the reaction you have to those feelings..try it! The album just finished up so I think I'll cut it here.

Until next time, I’m off to cancel my debit cards. Life ROCKS!

Cover Image Credit: Photo by Adrianna Calvo from Pexels

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'Baby, It's Cold Outside' Is NOT About Date Rape, It's A Fight Against Social Norms Of The 1940s

The popular Christmas song shouldn't be considered inappropriate.

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The classic Christmas song "Baby, It's Cold Outside" has recently been under attack. There has been controversy over the song being deemed as inappropriate since it has been suggested that it promotes date rape. Others believe that the song is another common example of our culture's promotion of rape. You may be wondering, where did they get that idea from?

The controversy has led to one radio station, WCPO, taking the song off the radio and banning it from their station. Some people believe that this song goes against the #MeToo movement since it promotes rape. However, people are not considering the fact that this traditional Christmas song was made in the 1940s.

People are viewing the song from a modern-day cultural perspective rather than from the perspective of the 1940s. "Baby, It's Cold Outside" was written in 1944. Many people have viewed the song from the perspective of our cultural and social norms. People believe that the song promotes date rape because of lyrics that suggest that the male singing is trying to stop the female singer from leaving, and the female singer is constantly singing about trying to escape with verses like "I really can't stay" or "I've got to go home."

When you first view the song from the perspective of today's culture, you may jump to the conclusion that the song is part of the date rape culture. And it's very easy to jump to this conclusion, especially when you are viewing only one line from the song. We're used to women being given more freedom. In our society, women can have jobs, marry and be independent. However, what everyone seems to forget is that women did not always have this freedom.

In 1944, one of the social norms was that women had curfews and were not allowed to be in the same house as a man at a later time. It was considered a scandal if a single woman so much as stayed at another man's house, let alone be in the same room together. It's mind-blowing, right? You can imagine that this song was probably considered very provocative for the time period.

"Baby, It's Cold Outside" is not a song that encourages date rape, but is actually challenging the social norms of society during the time period. When you listen to the song, you notice that at one part of the song, the female states, "At least I can say that I tried," which suggests that she really doesn't want to leave. In fact, most of the song, she is going back and forth the whole time about leaving stating, "I ought to say no…well maybe just a half a drink more," and other phrases.

She doesn't want to leave but doesn't really have a choice due to fear of causing a scandal, which would have consequences with how others will treat her. It was not like today's society where nobody cares how late someone stays at another man's house. Nowadays, we could care less if we heard that our single neighbor stayed over a single man's house after 7. We especially don't try to look through our curtain to check on our neighbor. Well, maybe some of us do. But back then, people did care about where women were and what they were doing.

The female singer also says in the lyrics, "The neighbors might think," and, "There's bound to be talk tomorrow," meaning she's scared of how others might perceive her for staying with him. She even says, "My sister will be suspicious," and, "My brother will be there at the door," again stating that she's worried that her family will find out and she will face repercussions for her actions. Yes, she is a grown woman, but that doesn't mean that she won't be treated negatively by others for going against the social norms of the time period.

Then why did the male singer keep pressuring her in the song? This is again because the song is more about challenging the social norms of the time period. Both the female and male singers in the song are trying to find excuses to stay and not leave.

On top of that, when you watch the video of the scene in which the song was originally viewed, you notice that the genders suddenly switch for another two characters, and now it's a female singer singing the male singer's part and vice versa. You also notice that the whole time, both characters are attracted to one another and trying to find a way to stay over longer.

Yes, I know you're thinking it doesn't matter about the genders. But, the song is again consensual for both couples. The woman in the beginning wants to stay but knows what will await if she doesn't leave. The male singer meanwhile is trying to convince her to forget about the rules for the time period and break them.

In addition, the complaint regarding the lyric "What's in this drink?" is misguided. What a lot of people don't understand is that back in 1944, this was a common saying. If you look at the lyrics of the song, you notice that the woman who is singing is trying to blame the alcoholic drink for causing her to want to stay longer instead of leaving early. It has nothing to do with her supposed fear that he may have tried to give her too much to drink in order to date rape her. Rather, she is trying to find something to blame for her wanting to commit a scandal.

As you can see, when you view the song from the cultural perspective of the 1940s, you realize that the song could be said to fight against the social norms of that decade. It is a song that challenges the social constrictions against women during the time period. You could even say that it's an example of women's rights, if you wanted to really start an argument.

Yes, I will admit that there were movies and songs made back in the time period that were part of the culture of date rape. However, this song is not the case. It has a historical context that cannot be viewed from today's perspective.

The #MeToo movement is an important movement that has led to so many changes in our society today. However, this is not the right song to use as an example of the date rape culture.

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I Wish I Had The Time To Test All These Supplies

If only I didn't already have an avalanche of art supplies to use up, I would be all over projects like this.

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I love art and office supplies, one might say I have a borderline obsession with being prepared for any possible project. My favorite store of all time is Staples closely followed by Michael's Crafts. There is just something about these supplies that draws me in, inspires me, and gets me in the mood to be creative. Currently, I have reached a tipping point for the amount of art and office supplies I have. I am in maximum use up mode. This is why I have been making blankets, hats, and scarves left and right. Some are gifts, donated, or even sold on E-bay or Etsy.

That being said, if I had the time and the resources I would love to test art and office supplies to see which ones are the most effective and give you the most bang for your buck. I have done one art supply review thus far and that was when I was getting into micron-pens because the kit was on clearance and I had a coupon, plus a gift card. I had an absolutely amazing time getting to test and play around with the supplies in the mini kit and I still use all of them (except the paper) on at the very least a weekly basis.

Trying 30 Artist Erasers - WHICH IS THE BEST?! www.youtube.com

Youtubers like Kasey Golden and Superraedizzle do large batch product reviews like the video above all the time. I watch them endlessly. Not only are they informative as to what is the best of the best to use and buy, but they are also relaxing and organized which helps me to get rid of my stress during a day. I always watch art videos if a day has been stressful, and let's be honest this is college, every day is pretty stressful.

I don't always have the time to create my own art or the capacity for that matter, but I do have plenty of videos to satisfy my need for art in my hectic college schedule.

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