The Only Thing That Has Been Consistent In My Life Is Change Itself

The Only Thing That Has Been Consistent In My Life Is Change Itself

I've learned to accept what I can't change and let change itself do its thing.

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This year has been rough. Like really, really rough. I thought that by now I would have things figured out, a life plan, and consistency with one person - but I still have none of that. I still don't feel that sense of comfortability, I still don't have a set-out plan of what my future looks like a few years down the road and I definitely don't have a person I can look at and call "mine".

Younger me thought that by my 20s I would have it all. I would know what I'm doing, I would know how to handle all things thrown at me. Yet here I am, 20-years-old, and still, cry at the slightest inconvenience and disruption. Thing is, the only thing that has been consistent in my life is change itself.

I can sit here and tell you what my ideal life plan for the next five years is, but I know that in a year or two, possibly even just a few months, something will block that plan. A barrier will pop up. Something will occur or somebody will leave. Change will sneak its way back into my life and I'll be pulled back to where I started because change is constant.

By now, I'm so used to my plan crumbling down that I've given up having a plan. I've given up planning what my life will look like in a few years and I've definitely given up on finding my person at college. Through it all, however, I have never felt better. I have never felt a more releasing feeling than I do now, and it's great. I've learned to accept what I can't change and let change itself do its thing. I'm going to let my adventure take its own course.

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The Truth About Young Marriage

Different doesn't mean wrong.
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When I was a kid, I had an exact picture in my mind of what my life was going to look like. I was definitely not the kind of girl who would get married young, before the age of 25, at least.

And let me tell you, I was just as judgmental as that sentence sounds.

I could not wrap my head around people making life-long commitments before they even had an established life. It’s not my fault that I thought this way, because the majority opinion about young marriage in today’s society is not a supportive one. Over the years, it has become the norm to put off marriage until you have an education and an established career. Basically, this means you put off marriage until you learn how to be an adult, instead of using marriage as a foundation to launch into adulthood.

When young couples get married, people will assume that you are having a baby, and they will say that you’re throwing your life away — it’s inevitable.

It’s safe to say that my perspective changed once I signed my marriage certificate at the age of 18. Although marriage is not always easy and getting married at such a young age definitely sets you up for some extra challenges, there is something to be said about entering into marriage and adulthood at the same time.

SEE ALSO: Finding A Husband In College

Getting married young does not mean giving up your dreams. It means having someone dream your dreams with you. When you get lost along the way, and your dreams and goals seem out of reach, it’s having someone there to point you in the right direction and show you the way back. Despite what people are going to tell you, it definitely doesn’t mean that you are going to miss out on all the experiences life has to offer. It simply means that you get to share all of these great adventures with the person you love most in the world.

And trust me, there is nothing better than that. It doesn’t mean that you are already grown up, it means that you have someone to grow with.

You have someone to stick with you through anything from college classes and changing bodies to negative bank account balances.

You have someone to sit on your used furniture with and talk about what you want to do and who you want to be someday.

Then, when someday comes, you get to look back on all of that and realize what a blessing it is to watch someone grow. Even after just one year of marriage, I look back and I am incredibly proud of my husband. I’m proud of the person he has become, and I’m proud of what we have accomplished together. I can’t wait to see what the rest of our lives have in store for us.

“You can drive at 16, go to war at 18, drink at 21, and retire at 65. So who can say what age you have to be to find your one true love?" — One Tree Hill
Cover Image Credit: Sara Donnelli Photography

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To The Girl Who Always Puts Her Love Life Before Everything Else, Don't Do That

Don't let yourself miss out on life just because you want a boyfriend.

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As a twenty-something, everywhere you look on social media you see all of your friends either getting married, having kids or exploiting their so-called #goals relationships.

For those of us who are single and are just living our best life, it can be annoying and a little discouraging.

Speaking as a single lady, my Instagram feed is filled with my friends who are in relationships, getting engaged/married, or having kids. Everyone has their own pace in life, but I can't help but feel like they're missing out.

Most of them did these big life events within two years of graduation. We graduated high school less than five years ago.

I'm not saying these people shouldn't pursue these relationships. I am a firm believer in doing what makes you happy, however, I am concerned that they aren't seeing the world. Most of the people still live in my ridiculously small hometown and never got a chance to leave.

Even if you decide to go back afterward, you should still leave your hometown for a little bit to see what else is out there.

How will you ever know if you like something if you never try?

Maybe you and your high school sweetheart's relationship will work out, they sometimes do. But I wish that more women my age would go out and live their lives a little before settling down so soon.

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