This year has been rough. Like really, really rough. I thought that by now I would have things figured out, a life plan, and consistency with one person - but I still have none of that. I still don't feel that sense of comfortability, I still don't have a set-out plan of what my future looks like a few years down the road and I definitely don't have a person I can look at and call "mine".
Younger me thought that by my 20s I would have it all. I would know what I'm doing, I would know how to handle all things thrown at me. Yet here I am, 20-years-old, and still, cry at the slightest inconvenience and disruption. Thing is, the only thing that has been consistent in my life is change itself.
I can sit here and tell you what my ideal life plan for the next five years is, but I know that in a year or two, possibly even just a few months, something will block that plan. A barrier will pop up. Something will occur or somebody will leave. Change will sneak its way back into my life and I'll be pulled back to where I started because change is constant.
By now, I'm so used to my plan crumbling down that I've given up having a plan. I've given up planning what my life will look like in a few years and I've definitely given up on finding my person at college. Through it all, however, I have never felt better. I have never felt a more releasing feeling than I do now, and it's great. I've learned to accept what I can't change and let change itself do its thing. I'm going to let my adventure take its own course.