I've mentioned consent in a couple articles already, but right now, I'd like to discuss something that is extremely obvious, and we should all have learned about a long time ago.

No means no. Plain and simple. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

You would assume that that is something everyone would understand, but we seem to live in a society where, either people don't know, or they don't care. There isn't much I can do about the second one, but I want to address the first one here.

WARNING: Content may be sexual in nature. Including a brief touch on Sexual Harassment and Rape.

During any sexual encounter with another person, consent is absolutely vital. Consent is when you and your partner(s) agree to do something of a sexual nature. So if you would you like to have sex with someone, they must be willing. Any form of sexual interaction with another person that is against their will in any way, is sexual harassment, or rape. I'm sure I don't have to explain to anyone why rape is bad, and wrong, and one of the worst things that a person can do to another person.

Consent is the foundation for every sexual relationship, no matter what the circumstances are.

And if you do not want to do something that your partner does, you need to know the strength of your ability to say no. Do not say yes just because you want to make them happy, it is your body, and what happens to your body is your choice and yours only.

For your partner, you need to know that if they say no, then that means you must stop. Do not push them on the subject, do not beg, do not try to make them feel bad, and especially, do not force them.

In order to give consent, someone must be in the right mind, and enthusiastic about what it is they are agreeing too. Someone who is drunk cannot give consent. Someone who is high cannot give consent. Someone who is unconscious cannot give consent. Someone who is underage cannot properly give consent. If they do not, or cannot give consent, then you must not do anything to them.

Part of what comes from a sexual relationship is being able to understand your partner(s). You should be able to tell if something feels off about what they are doing, or they do not seem very enthusiastic. You can tell by their body language, by what they say, by what they feel like. And if they do not feel like they are enjoying it, then you need to stop. What is the point of sex if everyone involved is not receiving pleasure in some way?

I know that several people are not properly educated in what consent is, and that is a huge problem. Every high school freshman should be introduced to the concept of consent, and what it means to them and their peers. Every person should be able to know the control they have over their own bodies, and what it means when someone else denies them.

Know yourself. Know your body. Know your partner(s). Consent is sexy. It means that they are agreeing to do or try something with you that will bring you all pleasure. So never be afraid, because it takes real courage to ask someone if they want it.