Why Confidence Is Key To Happiness

Why Confidence Is Key To Happiness

We need to be comfortable enough to walk into a room without feeling the need to compare ourselves to the other people there.
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As a woman, I have struggled with being confident in who I am in all of the stereotypical and very real ways, such as body image, bad skin break-outs where I have some acne scarring and not feeling like I am pretty enough according to some unforeseen standard.

And of course I believe that men can and do struggle with these same appearance judgements and unrealistic standards. But what I really want to talk about right now is the deepest, most hurtful form of lacking self-confidence that I have constantly struggled with.This is the acceptance of who I am according to my personality, what I am interested in and even the way I am around groups of people.This may not make sense to some people, but I tear myself down by comparing myself to other people's behavior and personality.

To describe myself, I would say that I am not very shy, because I know that I am an extrovert, yet when I am around other people I tend to not be the loudest one in the crowd and often compare myself to those people that are more outgoing than I am and feel that I am not good enough.When I am around people that enjoy doing things that I don't enjoy doing, I tend to criticize myself and believe that I am not a fun person and I need to be more like them or else no one will like me. I can be a perfectionist about certain things, so when there is something I feel I am particularly good at doing and somebody else does that exact same thing, I compare myself to them and make myself think that they are better and that I have failed.

Let me tell you friends...my mind is my own worst enemy and I am my harshest critic. I definitely hold myself up to unrealistic standards that I myself have set because I make myself believe that those things are what people believe about me. And these things are truly hurtful and are complete and total lies that I have to stop believing. I believe that our mind is our most powerful weapon, and it can be used for us or against us. I also believe that by viewing ourselves in any negative way, we diminish one of the most important things we can have: confidence. I don't mean that I think we should all walk around big-headed thinking that we own the world, but I do believe that having confidence in ourselves is essential to living a happy and healthy life.

A quote I saw on Pinterest basically said that being confident does not mean walking into a room with your nose in the air thinking you are better than everyone else, it means you aren't having to compare yourself to anyone in the first place. This may sound super cheesy or maybe a little teenager-ish, but I believe that quote has it all right! We need to be able to walk into a room, any room, and not feel the need to compare ourselves to other people, whether that be body weight, how gorgeous the person beside you is or even our own personalities. When will we learn to be comfortable in our own skin?

Hey, don't worry guys I am still figuring this out to. I struggle daily with thoughts of doubt and even the tiniest of comparisons that can drag my confidence down, but I want to leave you with some hope that you will not always be stuck feeling bad about yourself and that your confidence can be restored. I have no idea who Barrie Davenport is, but I read this quote by him on the internet (yes, I Googled quotes about self-confidence): "Low self-confidence isn't a life sentence. Self-confidence can be learned, practiced, and mastered--just like any other skill. Once you master it, everything in your life will change for the better." And I couldn't agree more!

Learn to be comfortable in your own skin.

Learn to be happy in who you are.

Cover Image Credit: Joshua Miller

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8 Struggles Of Being 21 And Looking 12

The struggle is real, my friends.
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“You'll appreciate it when you're older." Do you know how many times my mom has told me this? Too many to count. Every time I complain about looking young that is the response I get. I know she's right, I will love looking young when I'm in my 40s. However, looking young is a real struggle in your 20s. Here's what we have to deal with:

1. Everyone thinks your younger sister or brother is the older one.

True story: someone actually thought my younger sister was my mom once. I've really gotten used to this but it still sucks.

2. You ALWAYS get carded.

Every. Single. Time. Since I know I look young, I never even bothered with a fake ID my first couple of years of college because I knew it would never work. If I'm being completely honest, I was nervous when I turned 21 that the bartender would think my real driver's license was a fake.

3. People look at your driver's license for an awkward amount of time.

So no one has actually thought my real driver's license is fake but that doesn't stop them from doing a double take and giving me *that look.* The look that says, “Wow, you don't look that old." And sometimes people will just flat out say that. The best part is this doesn't just happen when you're purchasing alcohol. This has happened to me at the movie theater.

SEE ALSO: 10 Things People Who Look 12 Hate Hearing

4. People will give you *that look* when they see you drinking alcohol.

You just want to turn around and scream “I'M 21, IT'S LEGAL. STOP JUDGING ME."

5. People are shocked to find out you're in college.

If I had a dollar for every time someone had a shocked expression on their face after I told them I'm a junior in college I could pay off all of my student loan debt. It's funny because when random people ask me how school is going, I pretty much assume they think I'm in high school and the shocked look on their face when I start to talk about my college classes confirms I'm right.

6. For some reason wearing your hair in a ponytail makes you look younger.

I don't understand this one but it's true. Especially if I don't have any makeup on I could honestly pass for a child.

7. Meeting an actual 12-year-old who looks older than you.

We all know one. That random 12-year-old who looks extremely mature for her age and you get angry because life isn't fair.

8. Being handed a kids' menu.

This is my personal favorite. It happens more often than it should. The best part of this is it's your turn to give someone a look. The look that says, "You've got to be kidding me".

Looking young is a real struggle and I don't think everyone realizes it. However, with all the struggles that come with looking young, we still take advantage of it. Have you ever gone to a museum or event where if you're under a certain age you get in for a discounted price? Yeah? Well, that's when I bet you wish you were us. And kids' meals are way cheaper than regular meals so there have definitely been a couple times when I've kept that kids' menu.

So, all in all, it's not the worst thing in the world but it's definitely a struggle.

Cover Image Credit: Jenna Collins

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16 'Golden Girls' Quotes That Are Still Golden In 2019

Blanche, Dorothy, Rose, and Sophia..four unique middle aged women from different backgrounds under one roof.

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One of the greatest shows of all time (at least in my opinion) is Golden Girls. I was not born yet when it first aired in 1985, but thankfully it is on Hulu. Here are just some of the many quotes from the series's seven-year run.

1. Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. -Blanche Devereaux

2. Go to sleep sweetheart. Pray for brains. -Dorothy Zbornak

3. Dorothy, was Sophia naked just now, or does her dress really need ironing. -Rose Nylund

4. People waste their time pondering whether a glass if half empty of half full. Me, I just drink whatever's in the glass. -Sophia Petrillo

5. I've been having a giood time, and there wasn't even a man in the room. -Blanche Devereaux

6. As they say in St. Olaf, Helgenbargenflergenflurfennerfen. -Rose Nylund

7. Have I given you any indication that I care? -Sophia Petrillo

8. I'm as jumpy as a virgin in a prison rodeo. -Blanche Devereaux

9. Blanche, I could get herpes listening to this story -Dorothy Zbornak

10. I had a knack for coming up with the firmest, most appealing yams. -Rose Nylund

11. No, I will not have a nice day! -Dorothy Zbornak

12. Look, you didn't ask for my opinion, but I'm old, so I'm giving it anyway. -Sophia Petrillo

13. There is a fine line between having a good time and being a wanton slut. My toe has been on that line. Blanche Devereaux

14. You'll have to excuse my mother. She suffered a slight stroke a few years ago which rendered her totally annoying. -Dorothy Zbornak

15. Everybody likes me. -Rose Nylund

16. Silly rabbi. Tricks are for kids. -Sophia Petrillo

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