As a woman, I have struggled with being confident in who I am in all of the stereotypical and very real ways, such as body image, bad skin break-outs where I have some acne scarring and not feeling like I am pretty enough according to some unforeseen standard.
And of course I believe that men can and do struggle with these same appearance judgements and unrealistic standards. But what I really want to talk about right now is the deepest, most hurtful form of lacking self-confidence that I have constantly struggled with.This is the acceptance of who I am according to my personality, what I am interested in and even the way I am around groups of people.This may not make sense to some people, but I tear myself down by comparing myself to other people's behavior and personality.
To describe myself, I would say that I am not very shy, because I know that I am an extrovert, yet when I am around other people I tend to not be the loudest one in the crowd and often compare myself to those people that are more outgoing than I am and feel that I am not good enough.When I am around people that enjoy doing things that I don't enjoy doing, I tend to criticize myself and believe that I am not a fun person and I need to be more like them or else no one will like me. I can be a perfectionist about certain things, so when there is something I feel I am particularly good at doing and somebody else does that exact same thing, I compare myself to them and make myself think that they are better and that I have failed.
Let me tell you friends...my mind is my own worst enemy and I am my harshest critic. I definitely hold myself up to unrealistic standards that I myself have set because I make myself believe that those things are what people believe about me. And these things are truly hurtful and are complete and total lies that I have to stop believing. I believe that our mind is our most powerful weapon, and it can be used for us or against us. I also believe that by viewing ourselves in any negative way, we diminish one of the most important things we can have: confidence. I don't mean that I think we should all walk around big-headed thinking that we own the world, but I do believe that having confidence in ourselves is essential to living a happy and healthy life.
A quote I saw on Pinterest basically said that being confident does not mean walking into a room with your nose in the air thinking you are better than everyone else, it means you aren't having to compare yourself to anyone in the first place. This may sound super cheesy or maybe a little teenager-ish, but I believe that quote has it all right! We need to be able to walk into a room, any room, and not feel the need to compare ourselves to other people, whether that be body weight, how gorgeous the person beside you is or even our own personalities. When will we learn to be comfortable in our own skin?
Hey, don't worry guys I am still figuring this out to. I struggle daily with thoughts of doubt and even the tiniest of comparisons that can drag my confidence down, but I want to leave you with some hope that you will not always be stuck feeling bad about yourself and that your confidence can be restored. I have no idea who Barrie Davenport is, but I read this quote by him on the internet (yes, I Googled quotes about self-confidence): "Low self-confidence isn't a life sentence. Self-confidence can be learned, practiced, and mastered--just like any other skill. Once you master it, everything in your life will change for the better." And I couldn't agree more!
Learn to be comfortable in your own skin.
Learn to be happy in who you are.