Why Confidence Is Key To Happiness

Why Confidence Is Key To Happiness

We need to be comfortable enough to walk into a room without feeling the need to compare ourselves to the other people there.
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As a woman, I have struggled with being confident in who I am in all of the stereotypical and very real ways, such as body image, bad skin break-outs where I have some acne scarring and not feeling like I am pretty enough according to some unforeseen standard.

And of course I believe that men can and do struggle with these same appearance judgements and unrealistic standards. But what I really want to talk about right now is the deepest, most hurtful form of lacking self-confidence that I have constantly struggled with.This is the acceptance of who I am according to my personality, what I am interested in and even the way I am around groups of people.This may not make sense to some people, but I tear myself down by comparing myself to other people's behavior and personality.

To describe myself, I would say that I am not very shy, because I know that I am an extrovert, yet when I am around other people I tend to not be the loudest one in the crowd and often compare myself to those people that are more outgoing than I am and feel that I am not good enough.When I am around people that enjoy doing things that I don't enjoy doing, I tend to criticize myself and believe that I am not a fun person and I need to be more like them or else no one will like me. I can be a perfectionist about certain things, so when there is something I feel I am particularly good at doing and somebody else does that exact same thing, I compare myself to them and make myself think that they are better and that I have failed.

Let me tell you friends...my mind is my own worst enemy and I am my harshest critic. I definitely hold myself up to unrealistic standards that I myself have set because I make myself believe that those things are what people believe about me. And these things are truly hurtful and are complete and total lies that I have to stop believing. I believe that our mind is our most powerful weapon, and it can be used for us or against us. I also believe that by viewing ourselves in any negative way, we diminish one of the most important things we can have: confidence. I don't mean that I think we should all walk around big-headed thinking that we own the world, but I do believe that having confidence in ourselves is essential to living a happy and healthy life.

A quote I saw on Pinterest basically said that being confident does not mean walking into a room with your nose in the air thinking you are better than everyone else, it means you aren't having to compare yourself to anyone in the first place. This may sound super cheesy or maybe a little teenager-ish, but I believe that quote has it all right! We need to be able to walk into a room, any room, and not feel the need to compare ourselves to other people, whether that be body weight, how gorgeous the person beside you is or even our own personalities. When will we learn to be comfortable in our own skin?

Hey, don't worry guys I am still figuring this out to. I struggle daily with thoughts of doubt and even the tiniest of comparisons that can drag my confidence down, but I want to leave you with some hope that you will not always be stuck feeling bad about yourself and that your confidence can be restored. I have no idea who Barrie Davenport is, but I read this quote by him on the internet (yes, I Googled quotes about self-confidence): "Low self-confidence isn't a life sentence. Self-confidence can be learned, practiced, and mastered--just like any other skill. Once you master it, everything in your life will change for the better." And I couldn't agree more!

Learn to be comfortable in your own skin.

Learn to be happy in who you are.

Cover Image Credit: Joshua Miller

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14 Stages Of Buying Jonas Brothers Concert Tickets As A 20-Something In 2019

"Alexa, play "Burnin' Up" by the Jonas Brothers."

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In case you missed it, the Jonas Brothers are back together and, let me tell you, they're giving us some major jams. For those of us who were there when it all began back in 2007 with their first album, It's About Time, this has been one of the most important events of the year. But nothing, and I mean nothing can rival the excitement every twenty-something felt as the Jonas Brothers announced their Happiness Begins tour. I, for one, put my name in for ticket presale, have been following every single social media site related to the tour/group, and, of course, listening to the Jonas Brothers on repeat. And if you did manage to snag tickets, then you know that this is how your brain has been ever since they announced the tour.

1. Finding out that they're going on tour

2. Hopefully entering your name into the lottery to get presale tickets

3. Finding out that you actually get to buy presale tickets

4. Impatiently waiting for your presale tickets by listening to their songs on repeat

5. And remembering how obsessed you used to be (definitely still are) with them

6. Trying to coordinate the squad to go to the concert with you

7. Waiting in the Ticketmaster waiting room...

8. ...And feeling super frantic/frustrated because there are about 2000 people in line in front of you

9. Actually getting into the site to buy the tickets

10. Frantically trying to find seats you can actually pay for because, let's be real, you're twenty-something and poor

11. Managing to actually get the seats you want

12. Joyfully letting your squad know that you've done it

13. Crying a little because all of the dreams you've had since 2007 are coming true

14. Listening to every single Jonas Brothers song on repeat (again)

If you, like me, have finally fulfilled one of your dreams since childhood, then congrats, my friend! We've made it! Honestly, of all the things I've done in my adult life, this might be the one that child me is the most proud of.

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Severus Snape Is The Worst, And Here's Why

Albus Severus, sweetie, I'm so sorry...

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I grew up being absolutely obsessed with the Harry Potter franchise. I read the books for the first time in second and third grade, then again in middle school, and for the third time in my last year of high school. Recently, I had a somewhat heated argument with a fellow fan of the books about Severus Snape. As I've reread the Harry Potter books, I've noticed that, although J.K. Rowling tried to give him a redemption arc, he only got worse because of it. Here's why I still think Severus Snape is the absolute worst.

His love for Lily Potter was actually really creepy. When I was younger and reading the books, I always found the fact that he held fast in his love for Lily to be very endearing, even noble. However, rereading it after going through a couple of relationships myself, I've come to realize that the way he pined over her was super creepy. It was understandable during his time at Hogwarts; he was bullied, and she was the only one who "understood" him. However, she showed zero interest, and if that didn't clue him into realizing that he should back off, her involvement with James Potter should have. She was married. He was pining after a married, happy woman. If he truly loved her, he would have realized how happy she was and backed off. Instead, he took it out on her orphan son and wallowed in bitterness and self-pity, which is creepy and extremely uncool. When a girl is kind to a boy during high school (or in this case, wizard school), it's not an open invitation for him to pine for her for the literal rest of his life and romanticizes the absolute @#$% out of her. It's just her being a decent person. Move on, Severus.

He verbally abused teenagers. One of the most shocking examples of this is in The Prisoner of Azkaban when Snape literally told Neville Longbottom that he would kill his beloved toad, Trevor if he got his Shrinking Potion wrong, and then punished him when he managed to make the potion correctly. Furthermore, poor Neville's boggart was literally Snape. The amount of emotional torture Neville must have been enduring from Snape to create this type of debilitating fear must have been almost unbearable, and even if Snape was simply trying to be a "tough" professor, there is no excuse for creating an atmosphere of hostility and fear like he did in his potions class for vulnerable students like Neville. In addition, he ruthlessly tormented Harry (the last living piece of Lily Potter, his supposed "true love," btw), and made fun of Hermione Granger's appearance. Sure, he might have had a terrible life. However, it's simply a mark of poor character to take it out on others, especially when the people you take it out on are your vulnerable students who have no power to stand up to you. Grow up.

He willingly joined a terrorist group and helped them perform genocide and reign over the wizarding world with terror tactics for a couple of decades. No explanation needed as to why this is terrible.

Despite the constant romanticization of his character, I will always see the core of Severus Snape, and that core is a bitter, slimy, genocidal, manipulative trash being. J.K. Rowling's attempt to redeem him only threw obsessive and controlling traits into the mix. Snape is the absolute worst, and romanticizing him only removes criticism of an insane man who just so happened to be capable of love (just like the vast majority of the rest of us). Thank you, next.

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