Recently, I have been thinking a lot about what it means to be bold. I am not afraid to speak up when it comes to a class or helping a friend. However, I have realized that I rarely speak up for myself or step outside of my comfort zone to get something that I want. I play it safe. And yes, everyone needs to do some playing it safe in their everyday life (we all still need our jobs). But we also need to push ourselves and try to experience as many new things as we can.

A few weeks ago, I was at a retreat where our leader had me and the other participants divide ourselves up into personality types. According to the quiz she gave us, I straddled the line between "expressive" and "bold." Even though many of my traits aligned with this category, I thought that there was no way that I could be labeled as bold. Bold means daring, unafraid.

Bold means confident. That is not a word that I identify with.

Later that same week, a roommate of mine was talking about a cute guy that she had seen in class. I didn't think that much of it when she brought it up. Most classroom crushes I had ever experienced consisted of looking longingly across the room until the term ends, waiting. Waiting patiently for something to happen.

The next day, the same roommate swings the door to our apartment wide open and declares that she might have done something crazy. She then goes on to tell my roommates and I about how she had written said cute boy a note with her name and number on it and left it on his desk as class ended.

I must admit, I was mortified for her. That's crazy risky! My brain quickly ran through what I imagined to be every possible scenario: what if he doesn't call? What if he shows it to his friends and then doesn't call? What if he doesn't call and then drops the class and she's the reason why????

Then, later that night, her phone rang.

After the initial wave of terror that resulted in her immediately throwing her phone across the room and some words of encouragement from her roommates and mom, she called him back.

They ended up talking for hours.

When talking to her about their first date (which went swimmingly by the way), I asked her what made her leave the note in the first place. She said, "I decided that I was tired of waiting for things to happen. So I made it happen." She also added that 2018 is going to be her b*tch.

I was floored. I had thought countless times about doing something similar but would never have gone through with it. It is far easier to doubt myself to encourage myself. Deep down, I always knew that this isn't the way to live, but it wasn't until then that I realized how unhealthy it is.

I wait to feel comfortable to act bravely, but that isn't courage. To be bold is to act even when it's risky, something I rarely do.

I have been watching my friends pursue love interests, seek coveted internships, speak their minds, and go after what they want. They push themselves even when the stakes are high. Instead of waiting to feel confident, like I have been doing, they decide to be. It is time that I take the hint.