1. Acceptance is everything

Seriously though. The number one secret to being confident isn’t becoming the person you want to be, it’s accepting the person you are no matter the circumstances. “I have nothing to prove.” “I look like this, and I look good!” ”The person I am is perfect for where I’m at in my life.” This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have goals to better yourself, but accepting yourself for who you are and celebrating both your changes and lack thereof is so important. If you love yourself and accept your flaws everyone else will too, and comparison won’t tear you down. When you see someone who you’d like to be more like and you accept yourself, recognizing their positive traits isn’t a tear down of your personality, it’s simply an acknowledgment of them. Acceptance frees you from comparison and allows you to love who you are no matter where you are personally.

2. Affirmations really work

Okay, you're thinking, how do I do that? Let's start with affirmations. Do they seem silly and stupid when you first start? Absolutely. Do they work? Absolutely. Looking at yourself in the mirror every day and telling yourself that you are enough will do wonders for your self-love. Speaking your intentions aloud allows the Law of Attraction to start working (see the next bullet) and strengthens your bond with yourself. If you tell yourself something every day, eventually you'll start to really believe it. I've included some of my favorites below, and while they might sound cheesy, they really do work:

For attracting good people into your life: “I do not chase. I attract. What belongs to me will simply find me."

For loving your appearance: “I look perfect for who I am. I love this body and everything it does for me. I am beautiful."

For self-confidence: “I am amazing! My love for myself has no conditions. I am already whole and complete. I am already worthy just for existing. Perfection is an illusion, so I strive to be me."

There are so many more online, or even just sing along to your favorite song about confidence in the morning! What's important is that it works for you and it's something you can tell yourself.

3. The Law of Attraction

The Law of Attraction is very similar to manifestation. Basically its the belief that positive or negative thoughts bring positive or negative experiences. Thus, using things like affirmations and positivity, you can actually manifest the things you want into your life. And this really does work! When you’re actively using the Law of Attraction, then whatever you are hoping for will be more on your mind, so it will naturally manifest itself more in your life, even if you’re doing so unconsciously. For example, if you want more friends, so you decide to use the Law of Attraction to manifest some, then your subconscious will be thinking of everyone as a potential friend coming into your life, thus making you more receptive to everyone you meet, and therefore making them more likely to end up as your friends. It’s a really cool concept that really does work.

4. Ask for things

This is a great way to test your growing confidence, and its perfect because it works cyclically. If there’s something you want, just ask for it. No seriously that’s the whole tip. You want to be friends with that person? Talk to them and say “okay we’re best friends now.” You want a promotion? Ask for one! You want to be famous on social media? Start just acting like you are, because who knows? Maybe you will be. The answer is definitely no if you never ask, so put yourself out there and start asking for the things you want.

5. Fake it ‘til you make it

Not feeling totally confident yet? That's okay! Even the most confident people on earth are going to have days where they aren't feeling themselves. But that doesn't mean the whole world has to know, and in fact, if you simply pretend you're a confident person, everyone will believe you, until eventually, you do too. I know it's hard to start this, and I know I have a long way to go in all this myself, but by using these tips and pretending in the meantime, confidence will find you, and it will be beautiful when it does.