Internships are hard--especially when you are not yet used to the professional world. No one comes out of the womb knowing how to navigate bureaucracies, so why should you know how to do so before even graduating college? The corporate world is stressful when you are just starting out; it is easy to become so wrapped up in the difficulty of your position that you begin to make little mistakes. Those little mistakes quickly build up until you feel totally incompetent, though.

Luckily, most other college interns are making the exact same mistakes! So cheers to us! I present to thee, my fellow interns and hopefully not any prospective employers, Confessions of a College Intern:

Forgetting a fork and using unconventional items as utensils

Every day, I go to the staff cafeteria, heat up my microwaveable lunch, and then sit down on the comfiest couch in the room. I take the plastic wrap off the food and go to take a bite, only to realize I have no fork. Again. So I look around the cafeteria to see if there are any available for use. None. So I beg the other kind souls in the cafeteria for a spare fork. No luck. So what do I do? I use two pens as chopsticks or my AAA card as a spoon. Both tactics, surprisingly, work quite well, but every time I have to use an unconventional utensil, I hide in the corner of the break room and hope no one sees me. I now have to avoid several people, as I do not think they will soon forget seeing me slurping lo mein from pen chopsticks.

Wearing clothing with unidentified stains

The amount of times I have shown up to work wearing clothing I think is in pristine condition only to find out it's covered in stains is ridiculous. Where are these stains coming from? Why don't I notice them before I leave the house? Is this some sort of conspiracy? Do I even believe in conspiracies?

Not getting any memos

I have been left in the dark multiple times about very important things happening around the office. For instance, there was an evacuation of the building, and I had no clue it was happening until about half an hour after everyone left. A security guard came and yelled at me, then laughed hysterically when I told him I had no clue there was an evacuation. There were no alarms or anything! I found out in that moment that I do not receive the staff email blasts. Knowing about an evacuation would have been nice.

Sending people 40 emails instead of calling them

Talking on the phone is scary. Who even talks on the phone anymore? Why can't I just text that super important client? I honestly don't even know how to use the office phones correctly. I hung up on someone while trying to transfer their call the other day. I wish people would just answer their emails. That would make life so much easier.

Not knowing coworkers' names halfway through the internship

On the first day of my internship, I was introduced to over 200 people. It is now multiple weeks later, and I do not know a single person's name--not even the person in the cubicle next to me. I cannot very well ask any of them what their names are now--not halfway through the internship! And, of course, they all know my name and greet me by it every morning. I am a terrible person.

Misinterpreting the dress code

What are the differences between business, business casual and business formal? What about formal? What about semi-formal? Do I have to wear a blazer for business formal? Oh great. I'm wearing a skirt and sandals while everyone else is wearing pantsuits and heels. The next day, I decided to dress up extra nice to make up for my casualness only to find out it was casual Friday.

Spending copious amounts of time on Facebook or Twitter whilst pretending you are doing something productive

"Oh yes, boss, I was totally just doing research on that thing you mentioned the other day, and I am definitely not sharing pictures of cats on my social media. Nope. That cat you currently see on my screen? Well, it is completely relevant to my duties in this position. I was doing research on productivity in offices and... well... cats have proven to make people more productive! See!"

Pretending to enjoy networking when you actually feel like you're dying

So these people are significant in the business and your future career depends on whether or not they like you. And you are expected to shmooze with them, to care about their latest golfing trip, to talk about current events, or even discuss the recent weather. All you hear is "blah blah blah blah blah," and all you do is smile and nod your head. Then they ask you a question, and you are stuck. Your options are to ask them to repeat the question and admit you were not listening, or to make something up and hope it makes sense. You choose the latter to try and cover your butt, but you just made a comment about nuclear war in the middle of a conversation about the upcoming children's book fair... better luck next time.

So to all you fellow college interns out there, good luck! I am with you every step of the way. (And to any prospective employers reading this, this entire article was just an attempt to relate to the youth of the world! Disregard everything.)