Once we pick our major, we will go to the ends of the Earth to defend it. How dare anyone speak against our major, right? It should be fairly obvious that not all of our fields of study are these majestic journeys to higher education. We all encounter a few bumps in the road and have issues within our field. Most importantly, there are things we don't even like about our majors, but we're scared to admit it!
We try to maintain this perfect image of what it's like to be a fill-in-the-blank major because for whatever reason. I've spent almost four years as an English major, and as I wrap up my senior year, it's time that I get these five confessions off my chest...
1. We absolutely do NOT have perfect grammar
Nor will we judge you for it. Not all of us get off by judging other people's grammar, especially when we know we aren't perfect either! To this day, I still don't know how to use an em-dash. Don't even get me started on apostrophes...
2. Not all of us are totally in love Shakespeare
You could rightfully assume that an English major has a "natural" love for Shakespeare, but don't be fooled. Some of us absolutely d-e-s-p-i-s-e it. I do have a tendency to like Shakespeare; however, I also like to think of it as the "Game of Thrones" of the English Renaissance. A lot of love, blood, and sword fights to entertain people before TV was invented.
3. I most definitely have used SparkNotes (maybe more than once)
This is probably the hardest one to admit, but yes. I have definitely used SparkNotes for a book I didn't read *the crowd gasps*. The reading load of an English major can get pretty ridiculous. It becomes impossible to stay on top of required reading when you are expected to be reading one to two novels each week and close to a hundred pages in articles for day-to-day reading. There simply aren't enough hours in a day (you know unless I wanted to skip all three of my meals and lose eight hours of sleep).
4. Writing assignments can be the equivalent to slow torture
Literary analyses, research papers, and anything in between. There are some assignments that just make you feel like plucking your eyelashes out one by one. There are days that I would rather take an hour-long exam than sit down and write a paper.
5. Not everything in the canon is worth reading
Half the reason some canonical literature still holds value is because we are still required to teach it. Not to say there isn't any value in it at all, but there are plenty of other novels and genres out there that touch on the same themes and are much more enjoyable to read. You'll also hear English majors debating which of these novels deserve to get the boot and which ones deserve to stay.