Confessions From A Perfectionist: 6 Ways To Calm Yourself

Confessions From A Perfectionist: 6 Ways To Calm Yourself

Breathe in.... Breathe Out.

Dear You,

You had a hard week. Nothing wanted to go the way you wanted. You screwed up on the simple things. And you took it out on yourself. Hard. You suddenly felt like the world was pretty much crumbling right in front of you. You're beating yourself up for the little things. It's micro, however in your mind it's more macro. You start wondering.... Is this even worth it anymore.

I am the one to say, yes it is. The screw ups are always small. Very rarely are they huge. Most of the time they are so small. And easy fixes. However that's not the case for you and I. For us, these small issues, can feel like the world is ending. And it sucks. I know for me, I can't really really panicacy. I start freaking out. I hold my breath. I stop thinking clearly because my mind starts telling me I'm not good enough to do whatever it is I should be doing.

I'm speaking from experience. Aka, earlier this week. The week started out awful. I was in an immense amount of pain. I quit eating because I stepped on the scale and saw I had gained rather than lost weight, because you know that's the logical thing to do (sarcasm fully intended). And I screwed up on two reservations, I work for a hotel and for me that's a huge issue. Even though, later on, my manager informed me, it was a very easy fix and that I need to just breathe.

Just breathe. Seems to be a constant. I take major pride in my work. If you're into any zodiacs, your sign can honestly tell a lot about you without you saying anything. A coworker of mine told me that, which then made me want to research it more. I'm a Capricorn. We are all about hard work. We take major pride in our work, and we want it to be near perfect. As I read on I'm thinking to myself, "this makes so much sense." It explained my psycho attitude when it comes to being the best at what I do and why I go crazy when I'm not at work.

Well, there are a few ways to bring yourself back down;

1. Breathe.

That's right. Inhale.... Exhale.... So simple, yet so hard to do when your mind is racing at about 90 miles an hour. It stops your heart from racing, and it stops you from sending yourself into a downward spiral of panic attacks. Which by the way suck so much. Deep breathing exercises are a really good thing to take up.

2. Meditate.

Believe it or not, meditation is the absolute best way to calm the soul and relax the mind. Doesn't matter how you meditate, just matters that you do it. Meditation helps clear away any unwanted thoughts and feelings. I know for me, my church offers beautiful healing meditative services every Sunday night, it's the absolute best way to start my week. I start with a clear mind and a positive outlook on the week.

3. Music.

Music is a definite way to heal your mind. Without music, I know personally, I wouldn't be here right now. The one thing I do through any anxiety, panic, or mood attack, is listen to contemporary christian music. There's a specific band that helps me. Hillsong United. Their music just really speaks to me when I'm feeling really down.

4. Write.

Writing does a lot for a chaotic mind. It helps put those thoughts you can't really verbalize into words. It's one thing my therapist taught me to do, and now, I write all the time. Doesn't matter my mood, I'll continuously write. About literally anything. And it's so therapeutic.

5. Find something that calms you.

Which could truly be anything. For me, if I'm anxious at work, I find folding key holders soothing. Mainly because I'm working with my hands and it keeps me very occupied. I've had nights, where I've folded every single key holder in the hotel. It's soothing. Weird, but soothing.

6. Work Out.

This is one that I used to do every time I felt myself feeling "off" and man I was in damn good shape. It's a major stress relief, plus it's so good for you.

So now you know. Things that can help put your mind at ease. Relax the mind. Sooth the soul, because your mental psyche is so important. And don't be afraid to relax!

Cover Image Credit: Clementine Creative

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If You've Ever Been Called Overly-Emotional Or Too Sensitive, This Is For You

Despite what they have told you, it's a gift.

Emotional: a word used often nowadays to insult someone for their sensitivity towards a multitude of things.

If you cry happy tears, you're emotional. If you express (even if it's in a healthy way) that something is bothering you, you're sensitive. If your hormones are in a funk and you just happen to be sad one day, you're emotional AND sensitive.

Let me tell you something that goes against everything people have probably ever told you. Being emotional and being sensitive are very, very good things. It's a gift. Your ability to empathize, sympathize, and sensitize yourself to your own situation and to others' situations is a true gift that many people don't possess, therefore many people do not understand.

Never let someone's negativity toward this gift of yours get you down. We are all guilty of bashing something that is unfamiliar to us: something that is different. But take pride in knowing God granted this special gift to you because He believes you will use it to make a difference someday, somehow.

This gift of yours was meant to be utilized. It would not be a part of you if you were not meant to use it. Because of this gift, you will change someone's life someday. You might be the only person that takes a little extra time to listen to someone's struggle when the rest of the world turns their backs. In a world where a six-figure income is a significant determinant in the career someone pursues, you might be one of the few who decides to donate your time for no income at all. You might be the first friend someone thinks to call when they get good news, simply because they know you will be happy for them. You might be an incredible mother who takes too much time to nurture and raise beautiful children who will one day change the world.

To feel everything with every single part of your being is a truly wonderful thing. You love harder. You smile bigger. You feel more. What a beautiful thing! Could you imagine being the opposite of these things? Insensitive and emotionless?? Both are unhealthy, both aren't nearly as satisfying, and neither will get you anywhere worth going in life.

Imagine how much richer your life is because you love other's so hard. It might mean more heartache, but the reward is always worth the risk. Imagine how much richer your life is because you are overly appreciative of the beauty a simple sunset brings. Imagine how much richer your life is because you can be moved to tears by the lessons of someone else's story.

Embrace every part of who you are and be just that 100%. There will be people who criticize you for the size of your heart. Feel sorry for them. There are people who are dishonest. There are people who are manipulative. There are people who are downright malicious. And the one thing people say to put you down is "you feel too much." Hmm..

Sounds like more of a compliment to me. Just sayin'.

Cover Image Credit: We Heart It

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13 Songs That Help Me Through My Panic Attacks

It's easy to become paralyzed by panic attacks, but I've found music to be the best tool to help me cope.


Anyone who struggles with panic attacks knows just how draining and overwhelming they are. It's easy to become paralyzed by them, and once I noticed this, I made a playlist of songs that calm me down. I find that music keeps me grounded, no matter how bad the panic attack may be. Maybe the songs I have listed aren't for you. but I hope that in sharing my main songs that help me, it can spark your brain into finding songs that fit your needs during panic attacks.

In case you don't know some of the songs I have listed, I put a link to each song from YouTube. I hope you enjoy my interesting variety of music!

1. "Weightless" by Marconi Union

Go here to listen.

This song is my go-to song for panic attacks, especially if it's a bad one. For me personally, my heart rate spikes during panic attacks (I'll go from a resting heart rate of around 70bpm to anywhere between 180-200bpm). Evidence suggests this song can slow your heart rate and reduce anxiety and let me tell you... it works 100% for me and I highly recommend it.

2. "Somebody to Love" by Queen

Go here to listen.

I've just always loved this song. There's something about Freddie Mercury's voice that just calms me down and makes me feel like I'm not alone at that moment.

3. "Let it Be" by The Beatles

Go here to listen.

I grew up listening to The Beatles since my mom is from Liverpool, and "Let it Be" is a song that I always associate peace and good memories with. Also, I love the lyric, "When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary calls to me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be." It reminds me that there are things about me and this world that I simply cannot change, but I can find peace by letting it be.

4. "Lost in a Sea of Pillows and Blankets" by .anxious.

Go here to listen.

Go here for the full album.

I find this song, and really the whole album, to be extremely soothing. It literally feels like the comfort of pillows and blankets but in the form of music.

5. "1-800-273-8255" by Logic ft. Alessia Cara & Khalid

Go here to listen.

I love this song for many reasons during a panic attack. One, it reminds me that there are other people that have felt or are feeling what I am currently. Two, it reminds me that I have a purpose on this earth, and I am not a waste of space. Three, I just love the awareness it brings to mental illnesses.

6. "Up and Up" cover by Lennon & Maisy (originally by Coldplay)

Go here to listen to the cover.

Go here to listen to the original.

"We're gonna get it, get it together somehow." This main lyric reminds me that I can conquer this moment, and the only direction from this moment is up. Also, Lennon and Maisy's voices are mesmerizing. The Coldplay original is amazing too, I put both for you to check out!

7. "In My Blood" by Shawn Mendes

Go here to listen.

I remember the first time I listened to this; I was actually on the brink of a panic attack. I heard the first lyric, "Help me, it feels like the walls are caving in. Sometimes I feel like giving up, but I just can't. It isn't in my blood." Every lyric in here, which was beautifully written by the way, describes how it feels having a panic attack and having anxiety in general. It reminds me that no matter what, I can make my way out of it. I can win the fight.

8. "Free Spirit" by Khalid

Go here to listen.

Khalid's new album "Free Spirit" came out on April 5, 2019, and I am actually obsessed with it. I find myself immediately playing this album when I open my Spotify. When it comes to the song "Free Spirit," the music is enchanting to me; something about it just immediately calms me down. Not to mention that Khalid's voice is absolutely beautiful. Also, I just love the concept of being a free spirit. Not being tied down by mental illnesses or fear, and having this sort of euphoric peace.

9. "Intro" by Khalid

Go here to listen.

Once again, absolutely mesmerizing. I honestly feel like I'm taken to another world with this song. Something about the music just makes my brain feel so happy, peaceful, and calm. As for the lyrics, they remind me that I need to find my worth and put me first. Sometimes, I put so much of my emotional energy into other people that I have none left for me. I need to keep some of it for me though, because I know that I have worth, but I can never see it, so I need this emotional energy to be able to put myself first and love myself.

10. "Spiegel im Spiegel" by Arvo Part, Angele Dubeau, La Pieta

Go here to listen.

Not gonna lie, I'm a sucker for classical music. There's something about this song in particular that I feel like really captures the feelings of depression and detachment that I experience during a panic attack. It's just another reminder that I'm not alone in this.

11. "Raindrop Prelude: Op. 28 No. 15" by Frederic Chopin

Go here to listen.

Sorry, another classical piece... I just really love it. I feel like it shows the feelings before, during, and after a panic attack. Once again, it's a reminder that I'm not alone.

12. "Cello Suite No.1 in G-Major, Prelude" cover by Yo-Yo Ma (originally by Bach)

Go here to listen.

Last one, I swear! There's just something about this piece that makes me feel so calm and at peace... I don't know how to describe it. It's beautiful, and it makes me feel like there's hope of conquering my panic attack.

13. "Rescue" by Lauren Daigle

Go here to listen.

First, Lauren Daigle is simply amazing. This song in particular, though, reminds me that Jesus is always by my side, and he will never give up on me. He sees me in my trials, and he's fighting this fight with me. It gives me a lot of hope that someday I might not have to deal with these struggles.

Editor's note: The views expressed in this article are not intended to replace professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

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