It is finally April here on Hawk Hill, the big "G" word is around the corner, caps and gowns are being picked up, stoles and cords are being ordered, the senioritis is heavily setting in. The nerves of the real world are looming, but the excitement is there too. Senior thesis's and projects are well underway, the slacking off, for most, is starting now, there are only about 5 weeks until graduation. I am technically, credit wise, a senior, but I am not graduating with my class.

I'm a transfer student, I lost an entire year worth of credits, and of those that I didn't lose, half only counted as actual courses, most were electives. My sisters and my friends, both from SJU and from high school, are getting ready to graduate and I have to sit back and watch. They're getting word of post-grad jobs, making grad school plans, and basically getting ready to move onto the next chapter of their lives. My Education Major friends are student teaching, getting their real world experience in, and I'm sitting in classes that I should've taken as a sophomore.

Now, I'm not by any chance saying that I want to rush graduation and jump into the real world seeing as I can barely remember to feed myself on a daily basis, but I am saying that it's hard to watch some of my best and closest friends move onto the next chapters of their lives without me...it is actually serious FOMO. People are participating in "last semester festivities" and I'm being included because I am a senior, but am I supposed to skip hanging out with my friends for their last few weeks of school so I can do it all again next year? No, but I really don't think that I'll enjoy doing this all again in a year.

I've been going back and forth about my feelings towards the near end of school. When I started this article, I'll be honest, I was very bitter about it, not like you could tell, but now I feel almost at peace with it. Yes, I only have one more semester of classes left and most of my friends will be working in the area or going to grad school nearby, and yes I know, I'll get there when I get there, but it's the getting there that's the hard part. Family members are asking me if I'm excited to graduate or how many weeks until I'm finished school. I can't stand the looks of disappointment or pity I get when I reply with "oh, I still have a year left," or "it's not over as soon as you think."

Friends keep telling me that I'm "so lucky" to have another year of college, and those that have already graduated say that they wish they could come back, and I'm sure in a year from now I will feel the same way, but for right now, every time I hear those sayings it's like nails on a chalkboard. Yes, I know I sound like a whiney child, I should just be thankful that I'm able to graduate when I am and whatnot, and trust me, I am unbelievably proud of my friends that are graduating, it's just a weird feeling for me I guess. You can be sure that I will be at every graduation I can make it to and every graduation party to support my friends, and they'll all be there to do the same for me.