Alright my fellow millennials, it's time we have a chat. When you go out to a concert or any other kind of show, there’s just a way you act and a way you don’t act. And most of y’all ain’t got a clue how to act. So here are a few pointers:
For starters, when you choose a place to stand, for the love all that is sane, don’t plant your six-foot tall self and your seven foot friend in front of someone who is considerably shorter than you. Half the fun of being at a concert is actually getting to see a great band do their thing in the flesh, right there in front of you. If you plant your tall self right in front of a vertically challenged person sporting a shirt that says, “#1 Fan” you should probably rethink your life choices, especially if you dislike having a beat up face.
Disclaimer: That space up at the front right in front of the stage is reserved for the dedicated fans who show up super early to stake their ground. Invade that space at your own risk.
While we’re here, let us also discuss the ever-present personal bubble and the respect it deserves. Don’t squeeze yourself into the tiniest pockets of space just to be closer to the stage. Contrary to common belief, some of us actually like to have a sufficient oxygen flow to our brain and ample space to move and not get stepped on. Chances are if you’re the one doing the bumping and the stepping, you’re going to get bumped back, maybe gently shoved. If you do it over and over, the manner in which you get pushed back into your place may not be so friendly. Nothing is more annoying than having tipsy, ditzy people bump into you and spill their drinks all over you while you’re just trying to enjoy a good show.
That being said, don’t be messy. If you can’t handle your liquor/ beer/ whatever else you might ingest during or before the show, then either do less of it, don’t do it at all, or be with someone who can keep you in check. While it can be entertaining to watch drunks and stoners make idiots of themselves, it can be equally annoying. Nobody likes having to deal with obstinate drunk girls or sweaty guys who insist on shoving their way to the front even though there is literally no room. People will link arms and make a human wall to keep you back so just be ready should you or your friend still choose to be that stubborn drunk who thinks the bassist or singer is the love of their life.
Bottom Line: Respect other people’s space and they will respect yours.
Speaking of, don’t scream and talk at the top of your friggin lungs the entire time. Yea, it’s loud and that’s the only way to communicate with your friends but there are people who paid to actually listen to the music and appreciate the craft rather than use it as a stupid attempt to inch themselves into a particular scene so everybody thinks you’re cool. Not only is it rude to those spectators around you to incessantly chat and yell the entire time but it’s also extremely rude and inconsiderate to the band. They’re up there doing what they love, what they do for a living, taking time away from their families to play a show for you because that’s just what they do and they love it. When you’re turned away from them talking and essentially ignoring what they’re doing, it tells them you’re not interested and just there for the hell of it. Sure, that’s fine and dandy to see a band live for the first time, but if you pay money to be there, listen to the dang music and get your money’s worth. If you just want to drink and get crunk/lit/whatever you kids call it these days, go to a club and have at it.
If you happen not to know any of the songs they’re playing because you haven’t delved that far into the band’s discography, then listen for Pete’s sake. You might actually find a new favorite song or two. In this setting, it’s not appropriate to turn away from the stage and start a conversation and be generally obnoxious because you don’t know it or don’t like the song. Like we said earlier, it’s incredibly rude. Listen to the whole show and pay attention, be a kind and appreciative audience. I can tell you it’s a lot more fun for the guys on the stage to see the crowd getting into it than it is to see you and your girls standing around taking selfies.
In summary, just be a decent, considerate human. You’re not the only one in the venue who wants to see the band. It’s a public, shared space so act like your momma taught you how to share. At least pretend like you know what the Golden Rule means and you may make a new friend or two. Make it a fun time for all and not a hostile war zone.