“BEEP BEEP BEEP,” My iPhone alarm shouts and I press snooze. It’s 7:30 on a Monday and eyes are struggling to stay open. Ten minutes later the beeping continues. This time I leap down from my semi lofted dorm room bed, quickly brush my hair and teeth, and throw on the first thing I see (probably a t-shirt I got in middle school and overpriced black leggings). So what if I look gross? It’s class, who needs to dress up anyways?!

In the four-minute power-walk to my 8 a.m. (shoutout to my small liberal arts school) I run into girls in perfect makeup, curled hair, and an outfit I couldn't even put together on my trendiest day. In five minutes my self-esteem drops, and I haven’t even arrived at my first class.

Why is this? Comparison!

I compare myself to others constantly, and I think people do it so often it becomes second nature. Somedays I compare looks, but other days it’s about school or popularity or achievement. I think to myself “if I could just be like her, then I will be happy.” But that girl who looks like she has it all together at 8 a.m. is going through something too, I just don’t know what.

I firmly believe that comparison is the thief of joy!

When I start pretending like I am the only one who doesn’t have it all together is when I feel the most down and when my self-confidence is at an all-time low. When I start ranking myself up next to other girls who have their own strengths and weaknesses is when I feel the most insecure. And when I compare myself to others to make myself feel better is when I am the meanest.

Love each other! Life isn’t a competition!

As someone who has played every sport imaginable, this is a hard thing to hear. No one wins. No one loses. We are all just living our lives, and there is no reason to start to make it a competition for who is the prettiest smartest, most popular, or most successful. I constantly compare my strengths to others weaknesses, saying “well, at least I’m smarter than her!” or “I don’t go out as much at that girl.” Letting other people be our own standards for success is a hard way to live. You're building your self-confidence on something that will not last!

Once I firmly established my own beliefs is when I became more comfortable with who I am, and the need to compare myself to others started to disappear.

So whenever you hear yourself slip into building yourself up or down based off of someone else…. Just remember, you were created to be your own person, not someone else! You never know what people are going through and sometimes giving others a little bit of grace can feel so freeing!