Dear every girl I've compared myself to,

I don't know what it is about you. You are the crushes or girlfriends or ex-girlfriends of every boy I've ever liked. You are the gorgeous girls rushing to class who look that way even after rolling out of bed five minutes prior and you are the girls that spend an hour doing makeup every morning. You make me question my appearance in the mirror every day.

You are not celebrities with plastic surgery and personal stylists, you are girls whose attractiveness seems more attainable. Yet, I can't attain it. In many ways, that's worse than comparing myself to women in the media. At least then, I can blame it on money and resources and photoshop. But you, you just look like that. And I don't.

I'm not quite sure if it's some type of competitiveness I've personally internalized or something everyone does, but so much of my time is consumed comparing myself to you and I don't know how to stop. The big green monster named Envy wraps itself around me and nests there.

I'll find myself scrolling through your social media late at night, wondering what it would be like to be you. What if I chopped my hair like you or had dimples or could stand my ground in a political debate or was smarter or prettier or funnier or-

Anyway.

I've recently come to the realization that I am a colossal hypocrite when I tell girls to stop comparing themselves to other girls when I haven't figured out how to do that myself. I preach the idea of girls empowering girls. I believe in the importance of girls empowering girls. I could write essays about the inner turmoil this hypocrisy brings me.

Truth is, you might feel this way too. I mean, a lot of us girls do. So, here's what I want to say to you.

Every nasty thought I've ever had about you is a reflection of me, not you. Neither one of us should be defined by how much male attention we receive but rather our intellect and perspective. I may never stop comparing myself to you because I think you are drop dead beautiful but that is perfectly fine because it's not a reason to resent you. This world is not a battleground for us because there is room for both you and me.

So next time you or I ever look at another girl and wish we were prettier, remember that the beauty of a rose does not undermine the beauty of the ocean. I will never be you and I am making my peace with it.

I wish you all the best.

Very sincerely,

A girl who wants to be okay with herself.