Are you actually into him, or are you just bored?
This is a question that many of us girls end up asking ourselves once, twice, or a series of times in our life. Yet we never seem to communicate with the other party. You know that one guy you always fall back on when you aren't getting as much attention as you're used to?
Unfortunately, many of us lose sight of what we want and when we want it when there is always someone there to catch us when we fall. However, I seem to constantly forget that the person I have been falling back on for some time now has feelings too. It is easy to disregard feelings when they are not your own.
While his feelings exist in general, his feelings for me aren't something to toy with every time I am bored or lonely. I am the first person to criticize when I see this happening, but I have recently come to terms with how hypocritical I have been all this time.
As females, especially in 2018, it has become too easy to play the victim card, always implying that we do no wrong. To challenge the everyday assumption that men are those at fault, I think it would do women well to step back and consider what we are doing wrong.
Simply put, we spend so much time chasing men that do not reciprocate the feelings that we do strictly because it is challenging. Yet, we sit back and wonder why guys "play games" with us when we are doing the exact same thing. It goes both ways, neither gender wants anything that they can have easily. If you are apart of the small percentage that doesn't enjoy a chase; good for you, you'll end up saving yourself a lot of time and hurt.
Women react to rejection by casting the blame onto men. It is unfair for women to be able to ask themselves if they are interested or simply bored without considering the idea that men might be wondering the same thing. Consequently, this is why communication is so important. We have lost sight of the concept of having real conversation with one another, and by default we are making everything more difficult than it ever had to be.
No one should have to resort to dating apps or websites to find something, but here we all are. We judge people by the appearance of their social media accounts, their designated six photos they upload to Bumble or Tinder, and other accounts rather than getting to know them without any preconceived notions.
Overtime, with advancement of technology, we have abused our easy access into other peoples' worlds. There is a reason you are still thinking about your ex; it is hard to get over someone when you can see what is happening in their lives with the click of a few buttons on a smartphone.
You know who they have been seeing, the places they've been, and yeah; from the outside looking in, they really do look happier without you. After a breakup, our first instinct is to go straight to Instagram or other social media to give off the impression that we have never been happier.
These actions aren't always circumstantial. Nearly all of my friends and I will admit it, if we are posting excessive amounts of photos or videos on social media, it is to make everything seem greater than it is.
From here on out, I am challenging myself to unplug, communicate, and see how it works. I want to feel alive again in the sense that I forget that I feel the need to impress anyone with my actions.
It's time to stop focusing on creating this unreachable image of myself and start having honest communication with others again, and enjoying the life I have been given. There is too much good in the world to let relationships, technology, and overall unhappiness to get in the way of our little time here.