College has taught me many things, both academically and socially. But there is something I have battled that can never be beaten, and that's the opinion of others.

People live within their own realities. The truth is that we are all living our own lives that no one else can ever truly understand. We face hardships and pains that often go unnoticed by those around us.

It's these things, spoken or unspoken, that shape who we are. Many aspects are out of our control. The family we are born into. The body we have. These are things that we aren't able to change.

But there are things that shape who we are that we have total control over, as long as we can recognize their presence. What many of us don't seem to realize is that we have a hand in shaping our own reality. Our opinions and biases dictate the way we see the world around us by deciding what we think before we have a chance to think it or deciding the outcome of an event before it has a chance to occur.

Preconceptions about people based on the way they look are examples of this. If you believe that every person with blonde hair is a "dumb blonde", you're going to believe that of every blonde person you meet before giving them a chance to change your mind.

To make matters worse, depending on how deep-rooted your belief is, that person may never be able to change your mind, regardless of their actions.

Most of the time, these preconceptions are the event of a past event or future occurrence that the person is trying to avoid or may even be scared of. I must admit, as frustrating as it is, there are times when these hesitations could be an asset. Someone who has been cheated on may have suspicions of their next significant other because of their past, or someone who is afraid of heartbreak may not decide to enter a relationship because they think it will end badly.

In both of these cases, the person could be protecting themselves, but they could also be holding themselves back. They could be missing out on the opportunity for a better future by "protecting" themselves. This is akin to what many people consider self-sabotage.

Often times, we talk about knowing someone who is guilty of self-sabotage and trying to help them stop this toxic habit. But it's not often that we think about how it feels for someone who is on the other side of the individual's actions – the person that they are trying to save themselves from.

In the face of organic chemistry, every problem had a solution. Learning how to apply knowledge to the issue and get the right answer was difficult, but it was possible. But when faced with the barrier of someone's beliefs – a wall they have built to protect themselves or a philosophy they have engineered due to being hurt in the past – I was stuck.

In situations like those, the power is taken out of the hands of one party and put entirely in the other. That one person is deciding what will happen, regardless of what would or could happen. There may not be a way around it.

I haven't found a way to get around these fabricated realities. The problem is, the stronger someone believes something will happen, the more likely it is to happen. They will never be able to not worry about it.

It's a severe, sometimes debilitating hindrance for them. You can try to fight tooth and nail against their preconceived notions, but you may never win. This isn't because your argument lacks reason or evidence, but rather because they don't want you to.

I would be a hypocrite if I told you that battle wasn't worth fighting because I fought it. I lost, but I don't regret my efforts. The best thing I can tell you is what my mom told me: some people don't want to be made happy.

And that's that.