Colton Underwood is a former football player and reality television star. Underwood starred on "The Bachelor" and made headlines as the show's first "Virgin Bachelor." His virginity was often the punchline for many jokes. Underwood often spoke about his religious views and how that influenced his decision to remain a virgin.

Underwood developed a relationship with Cassie Randolph, who won that particular season of "The Bachelor." Randolph's relationship with Underwood ended, however, with her filing a restraining order against him. Randolph accused Underwood of planting a tracking device in her car, sending her harassing text messages, and stalking her parents' beach house. She later dropped the restraining order.

In April of 2021, Underwood appeared on "Good Morning America" and came out as gay in an interview with Robin Roberts. There was also talk of a new reality show where Underwood would navigate his new life as a gay man. Gus Kenworthy is said to be Underwood's "gay guide" in the show. This is a title Kenworthy has disapproved of, claiming he's just Underwood's friend. The show is rumored to already be in production and is said to premiere on Netflix.

Despite his coming out, Underwood didn't exactly receive an overwhelming wave of support. While there were many who showed support, there were also many who expressed disapproval of Underwood. These people cite the restraining order filed by Randolph and her allegations as their reason. A lot of people felt his coming out was a way for him to deflect from his alleged abusive behavior towards Randolph.

Underwood hasn't specified whether the allegations are true or not. He addressed his past in an interview with Variety, where he apologized to Randolph, but added that they agreed not to share details of their breakup. Underwood did say that his past behavior was the result of running away from his true self. There are many who say that Underwood's actions shouldn't be chalked up to overcompensating out of fear. They see this as some sort of excuse and justification for his alleged behavior.

No decent human being would ever justify abuse or make excuses for it. Underwood claiming his past actions were the result of his own fear of being gay isn't excusing his actions. There are reasons why people do what they do. Taking responsibility for that behavior and understanding the reason behind it is the first step in healing oneself. And healing oneself is the best method to ensure it won't happen again.

In this sense, Underwood's coming out and acceptance of his sexuality isn't justifying his behavior, but just the opposite. Underwood is taking responsibility for himself and owning who he is. He is working on accepting his true self and not running away from it. He's working on ridding himself of the fear which ruled his life until this moment. It doesn't seem out of the question that this move is to make sure he does things differently going forward.

The online outrage machine was of course in full swing after Underwood's coming out. Much of the social media discourse seems to lose sight of the fact that people can grow and change. It looks like they want to hold the abuse allegations over Underwood's head forever to ensure he can never be embraced by a support system. Otherwise, according to them, that support system is siding with an abuser.

It's a sad mindset that comes from a lack of interest in any real form of activism. These people don't want to do real work to help victims of abuse. Instead, they fill their time by attacking others on the internet. It makes them feel like they're doing something worthwhile. It allows them to feed their delusion that they're righteous human beings. In reality, these people don't care about the issue of abuse that much. All they want to do is hate on somebody.

And it is extremely hypocritical to see other gay men hop on this hate train. How many of these gay men had skeletons in their closets before they came out? How many of them had girlfriends or wives before coming out? How many had kids who had to deal with the breakup of their family when coming out? Are we going to suddenly act like our community is supposed to be perfect and these situations aren't far too common?

The fact of the matter is, they are far too common. Society's homophobia has a long history and is woven deep into the mindset each new generation is raised with. This hatred has consequences, not just for LGBTQ+ individuals, but for people who care about those individuals. If you can't love yourself, you're not going to be able to love anybody else. If you're hurting inside, it's not out of the question that those around you will be hurt as well.

Another thing people have been saying is that there are plenty of gay men who haven't abused people before coming out. Well good for them. But there are lots of people within the LGBTQ+ community and they're all different. This means that they all have different ways of handling their situation. Again, this doesn't justify hurting anybody. However, in situations like these, facing the truth of oneself is the first step towards taking responsibility for one's actions.

I believe this is what Colton Underwood did when he came out and I, for one, applaud him for it.