Disclaimer: I mean the color of the rainbow; red through purple. Maybe some random colors like aquamarine or peach.

Today was a big day for me!

As I struggle to wake up from a nap that utterly destroyed me (am I on the right planet right now? Yeah, THAT kind of nap,) I'm reflecting back on the day I've had to wipe me out to this insane degree.

I've recently been writing about a new opportunity I've been given that's challenged me an astronomical amount before today, and I know will continue to push me out of my comfort zone.

Well, today has been a (kind of) first day at my new job!

Since I've been at college, the obnoxiously loud, over-the-top dancing queen everyone in my hometown knows me as suddenly crawled into a deep, dark cave. Cave Girl is shy, self-conscious, and afraid to do or say ANYTHING. Who? Not Earth-Walking Cristina! That's so unlike her!

Well, that's been me. And it's taken a bit of a toll on me.

I think she's starting to crawl out of her cave, little by little. And this new opportunity is gonna push her out whether she likes it or not.

I'm meeting new, quirky, fun, and so kind people along the way. They seem way to cool and fun for me. I feel like I'm constantly embarrassing myself in front of them, floundering over words and reaching for doorknobs that don't want to fit perfectly in my hand and would rather flop around like a dying fish. I'm telling weird stories I never thought I would, and should I even be telling them, am I that much of a weirdo? Do they even like me?

I'm not sure. Probably. Maybe not?

But with some, I'm hitting it off really nicely! I've kept my cool (on the exterior, for the most part,) taken deep breaths, and genuinely enjoyed myself, outside the questioning of literally everything I've been doing.

This is going to be such a rewarding experience. Not only because I'm finally branching out and find myself in a position to finally come out of my shell and be myself around people I hardly know (yet,) but because this opportunity is going to help a lot of people.

People that are about to be in the same position that made me find my cave and crawl into it. The loved ones of those people too. While I love this university and everything about and around it, it challenges me. It may have beaten me for some time, but I refuse to let new bobcats and the bobcat family find themselves confused and uncomfortable, at least when I'm around.

I feel like I'm emotionally in springtime. New beginnings.

So what color am I feeling today?

Not the color of an orientation leader's polo on a hot, sunny morning in the summer, and perhaps not quite the color of a raccoon's footprints after it's walked through some wet, cool-colored paint. Not even how you may feel (and look) after night you can't remember. No, not those hues of green, but light green Plastic Easter egg green. New beginnings, baby orientation leader, and of course, mixed with a tinge of bobcat green.

(And no, not the color of my alien from outer space skin, as I am still recovering from my nap. I hope this all made sense and you all can read my alien language.)