When you look in the mirror, who do you see? An athlete? A writer? A free spirit? I see someone I love, but I didn’t find that someone, until I was well into college.

It might come as a surprise to some friends and family that I didn’t always love myself. Growing up, I’d go through days where I felt amazing and days I felt like I was never good enough. But most girls my age were going through the same thing. The lucky ones loved themselves constantly.

High school was pretty normal for me. I played sports, went to class, and joined clubs. Part of my self-image destruction came through one of my greatest passions: ballet. I enrolled in dance classes at the age of 3, and I never would have guessed that ballet would become my favorite. For a while I felt like I had to be skinny. I wanted to be skinny. I needed to be skinny. Ballet required skinny. Luckily, it never got so bad that I was starving myself, like other girls I knew, but it took a toll on me mentally.

I never felt good enough for myself or for anyone else.

I know this is common, which is why I am sharing my story.

I finally learned that I could constantly love myself and that “being good enough” doesn’t actually matter to my existence or contribution as a human being.

College is where I found the me I love.

College was exactly what I wanted it to be and more. Freshman year I made new friends, some I’d keep and some I’d lose, I met some guys I gushed over, and I went to some typical frat parties. I joined clubs and organizations that became an important part of my life. I started taking weekly yoga classes. I discovered I wanted to start teaching yoga myself. I learned how to take care of myself.

College is where I found the me I love.

By learning to take care of myself, I really learned what it means to grow up.

I began to let go of things that were tugging at my self-esteem, my self-image, and my confidence. Things like the words “ew” or “gross” when I look at myself in the mirror, or when I see an old picture. Things like the need to be skinny.

College is where I found the me I love.

Friends, professors, group members, and yes, guys, made me realize one thing: you only have yourself in college. You’ll have friends you can lean on and definitely ones you can depend on, but ultimately, you are your biggest influence.

You are the one you spend the most time with.

You are the one you talk to at night.

You are the one you wake up to in the morning.

College is where I found the me I love, and I hope you find yours, too.