The College Tour: From The Tour Guide's Perspective

The College Tour: From The Tour Guide's Perspective

As you start them off along the tour route you are immediately greeted by anxious mom number one.

Tour guides of the world: at attention. Although the semester is winding down, the tours continue on. As you wait to start your shift, you look around and take in today’s motley crew. One anxious looking mom, a dad on his cell phone, some high school junior in his Sunday best, a girl texting, a little brother complaining, along with a slew of other characters. As you clip on your nametag, you take a deep breath and prepare for the firing squad of questions that you must tackle throughout the tour. “You is kind, you is smart, you is important,” you repeat in your head as you turn to face the crew. Let the games begin.

You turn to introduce yourself, listing your name, major, concentration or minor, extracurricular activities, and basically why these people should give a care about what you have to say. You throw in a couple of jokes to test the waters and upon the half-hearted laughs you receive back, you tell yourself that today’s crew will not be so bad. As you start them off along the tour route you are immediately greeted by anxious mom number one and her “I don’t want to be here, I told you I want to go to a fashion institute” daughter. “So, this campus is safe? What’s the acceptance rate? Do you have a fashion club for [insert daughter’s name here]?”

Suddenly, as you’re walking along, you realize you must find some logical way to respond to all of these non-connected questions with a smile on your face. So you reassure anxious mom number one, and tell here it’s extremely safe, that you can check back with admissions on the exact percentage, and you’re not entirely sure about a fashion club, but we offer over 100 clubs on campus such as …

When anxious mom number one is satisfied, you continue on your merry way, explaining the relevance of the stops on your tour. This is when you start to notice the stragglers in the back, and must readjust your pace for the third time. As you walk backwards and point flight attendant style, you probably encounter someone from the back shouting, “Can’t hear you back here!” To which your head is screaming, “Then pick up your pace!”

Yet, in your tour friendly fashion, you adjust your voice to screaming in order to satisfy those in the back. When they nod in approval, you continue to elaborate on your school, and all that it has to offer. I’ve found that you’ll also receive questions from nosy parent number two such as, “So where else did you apply?” Followed up by, “Did you get in? Why didn’t you go there?” I’ve always struggled with these questions for two reasons. The first being — should I tell them? And the second being, “Is this some sort of trick?” Although it can sometimes be awkward to explain why you didn’t choose those other schools, I’ve always navigated around nosy parent number two by simply elaborating on why I chose my school. Plus … it’s kind of fun to leave a nosy question half answered.

After continuously preaching your love for the school, it’s time for the most fun stop of the tour: the demo dorm room. Here you’ll receive questions such as, “Is this all the space you get?” Or, “A communal bathroom? Is suite style housing offered to freshmen?” The truth lies in the pudding, people: this is a college dorm and not a five-star hotel. Personally, I find our dorms more than adequate in terms of space, and communal living helps promote socialization.

So with a smile, you explain that this is our school’s living arrangement for first-year students. This is also when you may receive a question from what I like to call frat dad number one, who, based off of a true story, may ask you, “So, are students allowed to have kegs in their rooms? Like for parties?” This may floor you at first, and chances are their kid will be mortified, but I’ve found the best way to handle frat dad is to remind him that no student under 21 is allowed to possess or consume alcohol. This also reassures aforementioned anxious mom number one.

As your tour winds down, and your crew has grown tired from all of the stairs and hustled walking, you thank them for viewing your school. It has been a wonderful journey, and you also thank them for their cooperation. Before you part ways, you ask for any final questions, and upon receiving a few more, you bid your crew adieu, and head back to admissions. Although some questions are tough to conquer, you are thankful for the opportunity to be a tour guide, and a representative for your school. It’s a privilege to talk up your school, and you have to admit: dealing with characters such as anxious mom number one, nosey mom number two, and frat dad make for some good stories.

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To The Boy Who Will Love Me Next

If you can't understand these few things, leave before things get too involved

To the boy that will love me next, I need you to know and understand things about me and my past. The things I have been though not only have shaped the person I’ve become, but also sometimes controls my life. In the past I’ve been used, abused, and taken for granted, and I want something real this time. The guys before you were just boys; they didn’t know how to treat me until it was too late. They didn’t understand how to love me, until I broke my own heart. Before you truly decide to love me I want you to understand these things.

When I tell you something, please listen.

I’m my own person, I want to be loved a certain way. If I ask you to come over and watch movies with me please do it, if I ask for you to leave me alone for a few hours because it’s a girl’s night please do it. I don’t just say things to hear my own voice, I say things to you because it’s important to my life and the way I want to be loved. I’m not a needy person when it comes to being loved and cared for, but I do ask for you to do the small things that I am say.

Forgive my past.

My past is not a pretty brick road, it is a highway that has a bunch of potholes and cracks in it. I have a lot of baggage, and most of it you won’t understand. But don’t let my past decided whether you want to love me or not. My past has helped form who I am today, but it does not define who I am. My past experiences might try and make an appearance every once in a while, but I will not go back to that person I once was, I will not return to all that hurt I once went though. When I say those things, I’m telling the complete and honest truth. I relive my past every day, somethings haunt me and somethings are good reminds. But for you to love me, I need you to accept my past, present and future.

I’m just another bro to the other guys.

I have always hung out with boys, I don’t fit in with the girl groups. I have 10 close girlfriends, but the majority of my friends are guy, but don’t let this scare you. If I wanted to be with one of my guy friends I would already be with him, and if you haven’t noticed I don’t want them because I’m with you. I will not lose my friendships with all my guy friends to be able to stay with you. I will not cut off ties because you don’t like my guy friends. I have lost too many buddies because of my ex-boyfriends and I promised myself I wouldn’t do that again. If you don’t like how many guy friends I have you can leave now. Don’t bother trying to date me if you can accept the fact I’m just another bro.

I might be a badass, but I actually have a big heart.

To a lot of people I come off to be a very crazy and wild girl. I will agree I can be crazy and wild, but I’m more than that. I’m independent, caring, responsible, understanding, forgiving, and so such more type of woman. Many people think that I’m a badass because I don’t take any negatively from anyone. Just like we learned when we were younger, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” Most people can’t do that in today’s world, so I stick up for myself and my friends. I don’t care what anyone thinks about me, or their option on how I live my life. The only thing I care about is being able to make myself happy. Even though I’m an independent woman, understand that I do have a big heart. Honesty when I truly care for someone I will do just about anything they ask, but don’t take advantage of this. Once you take advantage of this part of me, all respect will be lost for you.

I’m hard to love.

Sometimes I want to be cuddle and get attention, and sometimes I don’t want you to talk to me for a couple hours. Sometimes I want you to take me out for a nice meal, but sometimes I want a home cooked meal. Every day is different for me, sometimes I change my mind every hour. My mood swings are terrible on certain days, and on those days you should probably just ignore me. I’m not easy to love, so you’ll either be willing to find a way to love me, or you’ll walk out like so many others have.

I’m scared.

I’m scared to love someone again. I’ve been hurt, heartbroken, and beat to the ground in my past relationships. I want to believe you are different, I want to hope things will truly work out, but every relationship has always ended up the same way. I’m scared to trust someone, put my whole heart into them, just to be left and heartbroken again. I sick and tired of putting my whole body and soul into someone for them to just leave when it is convenient for them. If you want to love me, understand it won’t be easy for me to love you back.

When “I’m done.”

When I say “I’m done” I honestly don’t mean that I’m done. When I say that it means I need and want you to fight for me, show me why you want to be with me. I need you to prove that I’m worth it and there’s no one else but me. If I was truly done, I would just walk away, and not come back. So if I ever tell you, “I’m done,” tell me all the reasons why I’m truly not done.

For the boy who will love me next, the work is cut out for you, you just have to be willing to do it. I’m not like other girls, I am my own person, and I will need to be treated as such. For the boy that will love me next, don’t bother with me unless you really want to be with me. I don’t have time to waste on you if you aren’t going to try and make something out of us. To the boy who will love me next, the last thing I would like to say is good luck, I have faith in you.

Cover Image Credit: Danielle Balint

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Goodbye School, Hello Real World

I'm ready for ya!


It's starting to hit me.

I've been in school, year after year, since kindergarten. Maybe even pre-school!

Now, I'm about to graduate with my bachelors in communication and I couldn't be more proud of myself. I'll say it. I often sugarcoat it or suppress it but d*mn it. I'm going to applaud myself. It was hard work. It took a lot of motivation, determination, (caffeine), and willpower to get to where I am today. I worked my ass off.

That being said, I can't help but think... What is life without due dates? What is life like without scrambling to turn in an assignment that's due at 11:59 PM? What is life like with actual sleep? Sleep? I don't know her.

Like I keep telling my boyfriend and my parents, I don't have it all figured out. At least not right now. But I will, and I'm in no rush to land my dream job right now. If anything, I want to take a year to myself. I want to travel. I want to sleep in if I d*mn well please! I want to read as many books as I want. I want to write till my fingers fall off (OK, maybe not that).

You get the jist.

I'm free. I can do and be whatever I want. And you know what? That's terrifying.

I'm lost. I've followed this structure for so long. Now what?

I don't have all the answers yet. But for now, at least right at this very moment, I'm so thankful to have been able to receive such an amazing education. And to be able to say I'm graduating with my bachelors in communication at 21 is an accomplishment in itself.

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