While on my spring break, I went to my 15-year-old sister’s soccer game, which was a bit heated. There was a lot of pushing and shoving coming from both teams, which eventually lead to one girl on the opposing team getting knocked down by a girl on my sister’s team.
Then, a lady who I assume was her mother swiftly stood up and screeched insults about the girl.
My mother and I were taken back by the foul words that the lady was saying about a 15-year-old girl, but we ignored it and kept watching.
Once again, the same girl who was knocked down before got knocked down again. This time, the mother said more than just demoralizing slurs. This time, the lady grabbed her purse and strutted off the belchers screaming about how she was going to make sure the girl who pushed her daughter down never played soccer there again. She then proceeded to yell at the soccer complex owners to get the girl off the field.
I was disgusted and embarrassed for her.
She was a 40-something-year-old woman and was making a scene out of a totally legal soccer match, which brings me to my issue of parents sticking up for their kids too much.
Yes. It is fine, even applauded, to stick up for your child, but there is a fine line between sticking up for them when it is necessary and fighting every single battle for them.
This girl was not getting hurt, just roughed up a bit how one does in a soccer game. Her mother’s show and intervention were not only unnecessary but also inappropriate.
This is not the first time I have witnessed things like this happen, though. I see many parents stick up for their kids way too much, to the point where they can’t fight their own battles because they never learned how.
I know many people in college who were brought up this way. Now that they are away from their parents, the only thing they know to do when conflict arises is to call mommy and daddy.
This is not only harmful to them in college, as they will struggle to learn at such a late age how to handle conflict appropriately without calling their parents to fix things, but it is harmful to them later in life.
What happens when these kids go off into the real world and have jobs? They will not know how to handle conflict, which is almost certain to arise.
I 100 percent do not think that it is wrong for parents to get involved in their children’s conflicts, as it is necessary, sometimes, but my argument here is that children will reach an age where they need to learn how to deal with issues on their own. Guidance from their parents is always acceptable and can always be helpful, but sometimes having their parents do the full nine-yards is just too much.
So, to the kids who already are used to having their battles fought for them, there's no reason to feel less equipped for life because of how you were nurtured, but you can do your best to learn how to deal with conflict yourself and in the best way possible.