College. The first thing that comes to people's minds when they hear that word is partying. Yes, partying is a huge part of the college experience; but not for everyone.
Going into my freshman year, I mentally prepared myself for going out three to four nights a week. I lived up to that expectation my first semester, and really lived a pretty crazy and fun life. I loved meeting so many new people and enjoyed the free, independent lifestyle that college brought me. However, I felt I wasn't being my true self. I felt I was putting on this act. I wasn't even sure if I even loved this lifestyle or if I was just doing it to be "cool."
I continued this behavior all throughout the rest of the year. Around the same time, I realized I would have pits of anxiety in my stomach half the time I would be out, and I would end up crying at the end of the night.
Throughout my sophomore year, I began to decrease the amount I was going out. I got told "I was boring" and "I wasn't any fun." It hurt me and it made me think "hm, maybe I should go out, I am only in college once!" So those times I did decide to go out when I wasn't really in the mood, I didn't enjoy myself. I knew I did not want to be there. It started to affect me because it made me feel like I wasn't normal. Why couldn't I just have fun when I was out just like everyone else?
When I turned 20, I realized I wasn't a teenager anymore. I was officially an adult and it was time to live my life the way I wanted to. I didn't need to live the stereotypical college lifestyle if I did not want to. I realized I was not missing anything if I did not go out. There is no rule book saying "this is the right way to do college." There is nothing wrong with just staying in and watching a movie if that is what I enjoy.
I do occasionally go out and I do have fun! However, I go out because I want to, not because someone else thinks I should.
I am a college student, and I have accepted that I do not love going out AND THAT IS OKAY!!