I am in college and I am in a relationship. *GASP!* I know, right? I'm wasting the best four years of my life. I'm depending on someone else for my happiness. I'm going to regret being tied down. I've heard it all before. I've read articles upon articles about why you should be single in college. The quote "You're looking for your bridesmaids in college, not your groom," makes me cringe. College relationship-shaming has to stop.
"You are still trying to figure out who you are."
Throughout middle school and high school, we all struggle with identity issues. Who am I? What does it all mean? When we get to college we are supposed to reinvent ourselves and find ourselves. I could not imagine finding myself on my own. With the ups and downs of college come the ups and downs of life. I am thankful that I have someone in my life who brings me up when I am down and keeps me up when I am up. This has probably prevented me from going off the deep end and becoming a terrible version of myself.
"You're missing out on all of the guys you could be hooking up with."
Don't you think, though, that if I wanted to hook up with a bunch of random guys that I would've thought about that before agreeing to be his girlfriend? People try to tell me all the time that I am missing out on life because I am missing out on one-night stands. I, personally, have no interest in meaningless encounters with people I barely know. There's nothing more comforting than going home after a long night out with the person that I love (and doing it all over again the next weekend).
"College is a time for you to be selfish."
Just because I'm in a relationship doesn't mean that I am not a little selfish at times. Selfishness is OK in small doses and I get just that through my relationship. There are times when I choose to stay in bed alone, blow money on myself, and eat an entire large pizza. There are also times when I cuddle with him all day, blow money on him and share my large pizza with him. In order to love him, I have to love myself, and I do just that.
"You have no freedom."
Contrary to popular belief my boyfriend is not my father. I do not have to ask for permission to spend my time somewhere other than with him. I can spend my time however I want, but I typically choose to spend time with him. If my friends ask me to spend time with them I am always on top of it, and my true friends know that I will be there in a heartbeat. He is one of my best friends, just as much as my girlfriends are.
"If the relationship is really worth it, it can wait."
Why on Earth would I spend four years waiting for the person that is worth it? This is something that I will never understand. College is the best four years of your life, but it is also the most stressful four years of my life. If one person can be my glimmer of happiness I'm going to choose to be with them.
"How do you even have time for a relationship?"
Time has never been a factor as to whether I love my major, whether I love my friends and whether I love myself. If I can find time in my day to sit down I am lucky, but when I'm sitting down I'm texting him asking how his day is going. I look forward to seeing him on the weekends, and that it what gets me through my class-filled weeks.
"You're looking for your bridesmaids in college, not your husbands."
I have found my bridesmaids. I have met the most amazing girls and made the most amazing friends. These friends also love my boyfriend. Who says that you can't look for your entire wedding in college?
I am in no way single-shaming. I give mad respect to anyone who is finding themselves alone, hooking up with people, being selfish, being free and finding their bridesmaids in hope that their groom will show up in their life when the time is right. That lifestyle just wasn't for me. Go ahead and roll your eyes every time that I post a cheesy picture of him on Instagram. I am in college, I am in a relationship and I couldn't be happier.