A new freshman came up to me the other day and asked me a question that has been playing itself over and over in my mind: if you could go back and redo your freshman year of college, what would it look like?

What would it look like? Would it change a lot? Would it change at all?

As a sophomore this year, I've had a good amount of time to reflect on my freshman year. What I did, who I met, the classes I took... I honestly loved every bit of my first year. But thinking about this question now, I know that there were some things that I would have and should have done differently. One thing was this:

I wouldn't have cared about boys as much as I did.

Okay, this one is something that we all have had to deal with. Not only are we in a completely new place in college, but we're surrounded with totally new people. And we have to check those people out right? That's just how it is! Now, I'm not saying that this is bad; of course, it's totally normal to see if you are attracted to any of the people that you meet. After all, lots of people meet their husband/wife during their college years. But don't let this take such a big hold of your life that it becomes a distraction. Girls, don't let finding a boyfriend become more important than your classes and your friends. Boys, don't let girls take you away from your schoolwork and your success. I learned the hard way first semester that spending most of my time worrying about finding a guy to date is not only a huge distraction, but it's emotionally and mentally exhausting as well.

I never dated anyone during middle school and high school. Sure, there were boys who I thought were cute, but none of them fit the description of the man whom I've held in my heart since I was a little girl. Some of the guys where nice, good Christian men, but I wasn't physically attracted to them. Others were definitely attractive on the outside, but their attitudes did not reflect Christ in any way; they were cruel to others and didn't have their priorities in the right places. After graduating from my high school I thought, "Surely I'll find a guy who fits my description perfectly," putting all of my faith and hope for this man into my freshman year of college.

Definitely not the greatest idea. I found guys, that's for sure, but I knew that they did not wholly fit my perfect picture. Maybe some of them had aspects of my picture and parts of their person that looked similar to my picture, but I knew that those were not the kind of guys God wanted me to be with. I dated one guy this year. He was funny and kind and someone I looked up to for his likable and friendly personality. And he was Christian too! We were friends for a while before we decided to go out, and after we did start dating, nothing really changed between us...we we're just more "romantically involved" or however the kids say it these days. After about a month in a half, though, I realized just how difficult dating is.

I knew that I was not putting enough time into my papers and my classes, putting my responsibilities aside so that I could hang out with him more. I put my relationship before everything else, and let me tell you firsthand that it took a huge toll on my grades and on my willingness to stay focused on what I came to college to do. And what made this even worse was that I knew I was taking my boyfriend away from the things that he was striving to achieve as well. Both of us made our relationship our top priority, and ultimately we both suffered the consequences because of it.

We broke up after first semester ended. It was an awesome break up, actually! We both knew that dating was a big time commitment and we acknowledged the fact that both of us had a rough semester grade-wise because of it. So we decided to go back to being friends. No pain, no games, just going back to the way things were before. (Honestly, I was pretty lucky to have my first break up go so well).

Girls, do not put pressure on yourselves to make finding a guy your first priority. Make college about yourself first. You have four (possibly even more) years to discover who you are and what you love. Let these years be a time when you push yourself to learn and grow in your mind, your body, and your faith. Give yourself opportunities to pursue your interests and passions and don't let anyone stand in the way of your goals.

Sometimes it can be tough to wait for the right guy. Like, really tough. But instead of spending your time chasing after boys, chase after God. His will and His plan for you are so good! Pursue Him while you wait. Fall in love with your Savior and learn more about Him so that when He decides to put that man in your life, your heart will be ready for him. So let yourself be single right now! Enjoy each and every day of your college experience. Live a life of joy and happiness, and don't worry about needing a boyfriend. God has a plan for you. He's put you in this place right now for a purpose. A grand purpose.

"God is within her and beside her, she will not fall; God will help her at the break of day." -Psalm 46:5