Two weeks ago, my heart had a pebble. Now, my heart is struggling with a mountain. Yesterday, I still had finals. Today, I don’t know what to do with myself.

These past days have been emotionally torturous. I felt frantic, trying to organize dinner hangouts and bubble tea trips. I was competing to make the most memories in what seemed to be a limited time. I had never felt this way in high school. In fact, I rolled my eyes at the dramatic cliques with the dramatic friend who kept dramatically hugging everyone in the clique. I thought there was no meaning. After all, summer is only two months long. Two months isn’t terrible.

Four months is terrible. Technically, my heartburn doesn’t come from the length of time apart. It comes from spending seven months of comedy and idiocy together. The Thursday midnight cookie rush trip, the Brower lunch conversations about K-dramas, the late night discussions on never-fulfilled plans for exercise, the photo shoot, the remote controlled helicopter, the bug removal adventures, the xiao ping guo dance, and so many more memories. Every time the four of us go out, we link arms, not to make the people behind us angry, but to be a friendmily. I share absolutely no professional interests with them, but when we hang out, boredom is not present. These memories are double-knotted ties between the four of us.

Viewing the empty rooms that were just poster-filled the other day, I felt a deep sense of sadness. Seeing my roommate’s side packed with red and purple suitcases and duffle bags instilled grief at the reality that we’re all going our separate paths. Thank God for an obligation to school; otherwise, we would not have the opportunity to meet up again. And if I feel sad, how much more upset are the seniors who no longer have the advantage of school ground?

Therefore, to myself and to others who feel the same way: I look forward to making new memories.

After much contemplation, I realized that although we may not all be in the same location anymore, I will look forward to seeing my friends in September. I await the time when we go for Gong Cha trips and talk about attractive actors.

See you guys at a summer hangout!