College Males: Consent Is Cool

College Males: Consent Is Cool


I know I’m about the last person anyone expected a serious, conscientious article to come out of, but this week I would like to focus on something I have given much thought to lately, which is consent regarding sex in a college setting.

First off, I would like to say I’m no activist, feminist, or expert on this topic. I am merely a 21-year-old fraternity man that would like to see societal change. Rape is something that no person should have to deal with, especially at college where you are supposed to be provided a safe learning environment. Gentleman, if you plan on having a lady friend over for a night, whether this be a girlfriend, a friend, or a stranger, make sure they are not too drunk. Mumbles, “sure”, and “ok”, are NOT verbalized messages of consent. Too drunk is too drunk, so why risk it? 

Also, too many guys I know use the excuse, “but she’s my girlfriend”. Even if she is your girlfriend, if she says no, that means no. A relationship is not an excuse for not getting consent. You shouldn’t assume anything. 

Unfortunately many fraternity men don’t see things like this, and just want to sleep with whomever they can under any circumstances. The simple fact of the matter is that some men simply do not care about consent, and if a woman gets too drunk they will take advantage of them. I try to think that Greek life weeds most of these degenerates out, but sometimes they do slip through the cracks. I can tell you one thing, if any of my chapter brothers did this and I found out, they wouldn’t wear my letters for much longer after that.

What happened to being men of higher moral character? As a Greek community, we need to do better. It is estimated that ¼ of all college women are subjected to non-consensual sexual encounters at some point in college. This is a number that is way too high. It’s time to change this. It’s time to take pride in being a fraternity man, and take care of our collegiate female peers. 

I hear too many excuses. As a society, it’s time to quit blaming the victim. Saying, “With her dressing like that, she was practically asking to get raped”, is not okay. No one is asking to get raped. It’s time to lift the blame on women/victims of abuse and put it upon us, and put it onto the people that perpetuate it. Men are inherently protectors, and it’s time to do a better job of protecting our women. 

It should be noted that a big part of this should be directed to the ladies. Ladies, please never walk home alone, or drink too much. You as women need to be aware that there are some men out there that will take advantage of you. It’s a sad world we live in that this happens, but it does, so you need to be conscience of it. 

Guys and girls, let’s do a better job at this. Rape is not a laughing matter, and neither is non-consensual sex.

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A Senior's Last Week Of High School

The bittersweet end.

Well, this is it. This is what we've worked so hard the last four years - who am I kidding - basically what seems like our whole lives for. This is the very last week we will set foot as a student in our high school's hallways. As most schools are getting ready to set their seniors free at last, it all begins to set in - the excitement, the anxiousness, and also the sentiment and nostalgia.

For seniors, the years since our first day as a freshman at the bottom of the high school totem pole have seemed endless, but as we look back on these last few weeks, we realize that this year in particular has gone by extraordinarily fast. It was just yesterday that we were sitting in our classrooms for the very first time, going to our 'last first' practice, and getting our first taste of the (very real) "senioritis". With all that's going on in our lives right now, from sports and clubs, finals, and the sought after graduation ceremony, it's hard to really sit down and think about how our lives are all about to become drastically different. For some it's moving out, and for some it's just the thought of not seeing your best friend on the way to fourth period English; either way, the feels are real. We are all in a tug of war with the emotions going on inside of us; everything is changing - we're ready, but we're not.

THE GOOD. Our lives are about to begin! There is a constant whirlwind of excitement. Senior awards, getting out of school early, parties, and of course Graduation. We are about to be thrust into a world of all new things and new people. Calling our own shots and having the freedom we have so desperately desired since the teenage years began is right around the corner. Maybe the best part is being able to use these new things surrounding you to grow and open your mind and even your heart to ideas you never could before. We get the chance to sink or swim, become our own person, and really begin to find ourselves.

Things we don't even know yet are in the works with new people we haven't even met yet. These friendships we find will be the ones to last us a lifetime. The adventures we experience will transform into the advice we tell our own children and will become the old tales we pass down to our grandkids when they come to visit on the weekends. We will probably hate the all night study sessions, the intensity of finals week, and the overpowering stress and panic of school in general, just like we did in high school... But it will all be worth it for the memories we make that will outlive the stress of that paper due in that class you absolutely hate. As we leave high school, remember what all the parents, teachers, coaches, and mentors are telling you - this are the best times of our lives!

THE BAD. The sentimental emotions are setting in. We're crying, siblings are tearing up, and parents are full-out bawling. On that first day, we never expected the school year to speed by the way it did. Suddenly everything is coming to an end. Our favorite teachers aren't going to be down the hall anymore, our best friends probably won't share a class with us, we won't be coming home to eat dinner with our families...

We all said we wanted to get out of this place, we couldn't wait, we were ready to be on our own; we all said we wouldn't be "so emotional" when the time came, but yet here we are, wishing we could play one more football game with our team or taking the time to make sure we remember the class we liked the most or the person that has made us laugh even when we were so stressed we could cry these past few years. Take the time to hug your parents these last few months. Memorize the facial expressions of your little sister or brother. Remember the sound of your dad coming home from work. These little things we take for granted every day will soon just be the things we tell our college roommate when they ask about where we're from. As much as we've wanted to get out of our house and our school, we never thought it would break our heart as much as it did. We are all beginning to realize that everything we have is about to be gone.

Growing up is scary, but it can also be fun. As we take the last few steps in the hallways of our school, take it all in. Remember, it's okay to be happy; it's okay to be totally excited. But also remember it's okay to be sad. It's okay to be sentimental. It's okay to be scared, too. It's okay to feel all these confusing emotions that we are feeling. The best thing about the bittersweet end to our high school years is that we are finally slowing down our busy lives enough to remember the happy memories.

Try not to get annoyed when your mom starts showing your baby pictures to everyone she sees, or when your dad starts getting aggravated when you talk about moving out and into your new dorm. They're coping with the same emotions we are. Walk through the halls remembering the classes you loved and the classes you hated. Think of the all great times that have happened in our high school years and the friends that have been made that will never be forgotten. We all say we hated school, but we really didn't. Everything is about to change; that's a happy thing, and a sad thing. We all just have to embrace it! We're ready, but we're not...

Cover Image Credit: Facebook

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