I know I’m about the last person anyone expected a serious, conscientious article to come out of, but this week I would like to focus on something I have given much thought to lately, which is consent regarding sex in a college setting.
First off, I would like to say I’m no activist, feminist, or expert on this topic. I am merely a 21-year-old fraternity man that would like to see societal change. Rape is something that no person should have to deal with, especially at college where you are supposed to be provided a safe learning environment. Gentleman, if you plan on having a lady friend over for a night, whether this be a girlfriend, a friend, or a stranger, make sure they are not too drunk. Mumbles, “sure”, and “ok”, are NOT verbalized messages of consent. Too drunk is too drunk, so why risk it?
Also, too many guys I know use the excuse, “but she’s my girlfriend”. Even if she is your girlfriend, if she says no, that means no. A relationship is not an excuse for not getting consent. You shouldn’t assume anything.
Unfortunately many fraternity men don’t see things like this, and just want to sleep with whomever they can under any circumstances. The simple fact of the matter is that some men simply do not care about consent, and if a woman gets too drunk they will take advantage of them. I try to think that Greek life weeds most of these degenerates out, but sometimes they do slip through the cracks. I can tell you one thing, if any of my chapter brothers did this and I found out, they wouldn’t wear my letters for much longer after that.
What happened to being men of higher moral character? As a Greek community, we need to do better. It is estimated that ¼ of all college women are subjected to non-consensual sexual encounters at some point in college. This is a number that is way too high. It’s time to change this. It’s time to take pride in being a fraternity man, and take care of our collegiate female peers.
I hear too many excuses. As a society, it’s time to quit blaming the victim. Saying, “With her dressing like that, she was practically asking to get raped”, is not okay. No one is asking to get raped. It’s time to lift the blame on women/victims of abuse and put it upon us, and put it onto the people that perpetuate it. Men are inherently protectors, and it’s time to do a better job of protecting our women.
It should be noted that a big part of this should be directed to the ladies. Ladies, please never walk home alone, or drink too much. You as women need to be aware that there are some men out there that will take advantage of you. It’s a sad world we live in that this happens, but it does, so you need to be conscience of it.
Guys and girls, let’s do a better job at this. Rape is not a laughing matter, and neither is non-consensual sex.