A college education is among the most valuable things one can obtain in their lifetime. Of course, it comes with a price— a hefty price, at that. Though, in my experience, I'd say college is well worth the money and the physical/mental exhaustion, why must it make me feel so terrible at times?

Many colleges admit that their programs are designed to "weed out" the slackers. You may have all the brains in the world, but without the right amount of discipline and determination you won't make the cut. This makes sense on the surface; those who want the degree will work hard to obtain it. Alas, underneath it all this system sports an ugly underbelly. Suicides, along with a plethora of mental illnesses, plague college campuses.

I can admit, there have been many days when I wake up in tears and ask myself, "is it really worth sacrificing my mental health?" Though I understand the level of determination and discipline my desired level of education requires, there are times when it makes me feel downright awful. I can handle a little pressure, and even a little panic... But sometimes I truly feel myself being crushed under the weight of everything collegiate life entails. I often scare myself to death, wondering "if I don't get an A in this class, will I still get into grad school?" and "if I don't get into grad school, do I have a backup plan?" It's as if, over one measly letter, one little number, I can see my entire future slipping away from me. That's a little bit more than "pressure"— that's straight up depression inducing nightmare fuel. I don't want to think my entire life hangs in the balance simply because I physically could not stay awake long enough to study for a huge test, or finish a twenty-page paper.

I understand that college is no cakewalk— I'm fine with that. Higher education should be held to a higher standard. What I don't understand is why the American collegiate system rewards physical and mental anguish over academic excellence. Plenty of people are intelligent enough to handle college level curriculum, but that's not always what it's about. In my opinion, I am the paying customer. I am the one doing the work, putting in the money and time, and I don't think I should ever feel this stressed out over something that has become an inevitable part of adult life in this nation.