In the college hookup culture of today, a kiss usually has little to no meaning, sex isn’t necessarily viewed as an act of love but more as quick pleasure, and when someone asks to hang out you usually have to think twice about their intentions.
I do not agree with the college hookup culture of today, but that’s okay. The decision was mine to make, and I have – I said no to college hookups and here’s why.
Growing up, I was able to see what pure love looks like thanks to my parents.
They were the prime role models in molding the expectations I have today. My momma would always remind me of my self-worth and it made me realize just how special it is to give yourself away to someone. If you put yourself in a futuristic scenario, how would you feel after finding out that your significant other has had multiple one-night stands?
I’m not saying I’m the perfect role model to look up to, because I am definitely not.
I have thrown around the idea of engaging in the newly accepted culture as well. However, each time I realize that I would rather meet one guy that wants to get to know me sober than ten guys who want me when I’m drunk. I’m also not saying “sex before marriage” is bad either, because I honestly don’t believe it is. I would just rather be in a stable, committed relationship if I am getting intimate with a guy.
I'd also rather tell people we met in class, at a coffee shop, or simply somewhere on campus than at a bars or at a scummy fraternity basement party.
I want to go on study dates at Java House, run a few miles in the city park, or even just bum around in sweats and enjoy each other’s company. I miss the culture where dates were a thing and if someone wanted to kiss you it’s because they were genuinely interested in you, not because you might be an easy person to take home. I want someone who's okay with not going out every weekend, but is still willing to tag along when those days sound fun too. I want to know his name, engage in conversation, and just get to know each other before anything happens.
And even though at times I might feel like I’m the last of my kind, I just have to remind myself that there IS a guy out there that’s waiting for the right girl too.
Not all guys participate in the hookup culture of today, and even though they might be hard to find, they are out there.
As I wait for the right guy to come around, I must hold my ground and not abide by peer pressure. At times I even get told by my own best friends that I have somewhat unrealistic expectations for guys in college, and honestly, that kind of breaks my heart.
Not only because it means my friends might be lowering their standards, but because some guys that aren’t that way at all might be getting labeled with the popular majority as well.There’s a bible verse I once read, that goes something like this:
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love” Ephesians 4:2.
So from day to day, I know that in the end I will have had someone worth the wait.
It can get frustrating to be the only one in groups of people not engaging in the college hookup culture of today, but in the long run I will truly be nothing but happy with the decision I made. Maybe, just maybe the decision to say no will be a big enough gift to give to your special someone whenever the time is right.
If you're like me, waiting for the right relationship before engaging in anything, just remind yourself that the decision to say no to the college hookup culture was yours, be proud of it.