Most people are aware that there is at least a little bit of sexism that exists in today’s world. Some will try to deny it. Some will try to victim blame. Some will close their eyes and ears to the world around them. But whether we acknowledge it or not, it is still there. As a girl, I’ve grown up with it. It seems like a normal occurrence, although it definitely should not be. Do you know what it’s like? If not, I’m about to show you.

Sometimes it’s as early as middle school when girls start noticing the guys staring at them, and not just guys their age either. It’s a little uncomfortable, especially when you don’t know why they’re staring.The older girls get, the more they start to become aware of what the boys are looking at, because most of the time, it is not them.

Catcalls are another common occurrence, another thing that is often ignored. If you think that yelling something derogatory out the window at the girl walking down the street is going to get you something, I hate to break it to you, but it’s not. Most of the time it only results in a glare or that girl flipping you the bird. It’s often a frightening experience. I’ve heard people argue that these men know you’re not going to sleep with them, rather it’s a show of power and a way to let the girl know that the man is the dominant one in that situation. Maybe that’s a harsh argument, but maybe there’s a reason girls get scared walking down the street and don’t want to do it alone. There is a difference between complimenting a girl on the way she looks and scaring her and sexualizing her body. Catcalls do not make us feel beautiful.

Some of you might laugh when I say this, but it can be genuinely scary or nerve-wrecking for a girl to walk past a group of guys. When you can feel their eyes on you and hear the words whispered under their breath, or the words they say very loudly and clearly. For example: when you step out of your dorm room in pajamas and a guy standing in the hall gets his friends to pop their heads out as he says, “dude, dude, dude look at her. Should we follow her and see where she goes?” And then they actually do follow you down the hall and to the bathroom. Don’t turn around, you tell yourself. Walk quickly, walk confidently. Don’t let them know you’re scared, but still hold your room key between your fingers. Turn into the bathroom, which is why you left your room in the first place. Your heartbeat is quicker than normal, practically hammering in your chest. It’s late at night and the only people awake in the hall are you and them. You hear talking outside the bathroom door. Should you wait until they leave? They do have you outnumbered three to one. It’s been a couple minutes and they are still there, so you wait until another girl walks in a minute later. The two of you walk out together and eventually the guys leave.

Things like this happen all the time to girls, and sometimes they don’t end as well.

Dating in college could be a whole other article, but for now we’ll just touch on it. Dating in general can be tricky, but it’s even more so when you add the current hook-up culture into the mix. If a girl starts talking to a guy wanting a relationship eventually and then he only texts her to send that “you up?” text at two a.m, she knows it’s time to block his number. Or if the two do hook-up, a lot of times the guy will leave. In our current college culture we live in a world of tinder and hook-ups, so it can be confusing and hard to find a solid or healthy relationship if that’s what you’re looking for.

Another thing is parties. College parties are fun, no doubt. But for a girl, it can be slightly less fun if you’re trying to make sure you’re safe the entire night. When my friends and I went to a party the other weekend the first thing I hear is a guy on the front porch talking to his friend while looking at us and saying, “I bet I could get one of them drunk”. Not the most comforting thing to hear. It’s not great either when your drinks almost get spiked. Girls have to be on the lookout constantly for little signs for things going amiss. Nor is it fun to have a guy grab your ass and try to get you on to the couch when you’re just trying to pass through the room. Don’t get too drunk, don’t do anything stupid; you need to make sure you’ll be safe.

I’m not saying that everything in today’s society is turned against girls, but I am saying that there is some obvious problems in today’s world that need to be fixed. And no, the way a girl dresses is not the problem. I’m also not saying that these things don’t happen to guys, because they do, it’s just a lot less common. Nor am I saying that it’s all guys, because it’s not. I’m saying that the number of guys that do these things need to be dramatically decreased. I know it won’t just disappear, at least not yet, but there’s always hope for tomorrow.