I'm The Girl Who Wants A Career AND Kids By 35, And That's OK

I'm The Girl Who Wants A Career AND Kids By 35, And That's OK

I have every right to heavily focus my $30,000/year education and personal life.
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In life, I feel as if we are always choosing between two things.

Chocolate or vanilla? Cats or dogs? Cash or credit? Everyday decisions are the easiest to make, but what about the life-altering ones?

Let’s say, a future career versus a future family?

Society places this huge pressure on millennials to either work your ass off, or have a family by your mid-thirties. Despite those who choose both, oftentimes people feel the need to pick between the two, as if it's impossible to have it both ways.

This dilemma is too ‘black and white’ for my likings. Personally, I want both of these things.

And yes, I would like to have my life figured out by 35 -- rough deadlines are perfectly OK to have, regardless of everyone who says not to rush. And they are right. It’s important to take your time, but equally as crucial to keep your eyes on the prize.

As fun as college can be, I am here to make something of myself -- not to settle for things that I do not want.

If I want to pursue a six figure-salary job and start a family sometime after grad school (while I can), I should be able to do so without criticism -- just as some people solely focus on their career versus having children, or vice versa. You know what? Any of those paths are OK. I want others to know that it’s OK to want both at the same time, because before you know it, your time has passed.

Sure, maybe I do take myself a little too seriously sometimes. But, you know what? That’s OK.

I have every right to heavily focus my $30,000/year education AND personal life.

I’ve had my fair share of fun, and I am ready to put work into my aspirations, values, and wellbeing. If that includes grad school, an amazing relationship, eventual high-paying job and family of my own, that’s what it shall be. That’s what’s going to make me happy someday, so why not go for it?

Don’t get me wrong, you can still catch me watching football every Sunday, going to tailgates, having lazy Netflix days, and living it up on the weekends. Just because I want to stop f*cking around, does not mean I am selling myself short -- by any means. I have to grow up someday, so might as well try to sooner than later.

Cover Image Credit: Flickr

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To All Incoming Freshmen, When You Get To College, Please Don't Be THAT Freshman

I am pretty sure we all know who I'm talking about.

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As we are all counting down the days to return to campus, students are looking forward to meeting new people and reuniting with old friends. And then, there is the freshman.

We have all been there. The eagerness and excitement have been slowly building up through months of summer vacation, all waiting for this moment. I understand the anxiousness, enthusiasm, and insecurities. The opportunity to meet new people and explore a new area is very intriguing. But let's be real, you are here to make memories and get an education. So here are a few pieces of advice from a former college freshman.

1. Don't be that freshman who follows their significant other to college

This is the boy or girl who simply can not think for themselves. The 17-year-old puts their own personal goals and interests aside to sacrifice for a six-month high school relationship. This will more than likely end at an end of semester transfer after the relationship has been tested for a month or two in college life. So if you want to really enjoy your freshman year, make your own decisions and do what is best for you.

2. Don't be that freshman who lets their parents pick their major

"You are not going to school just to waste my money."

This is a statement you might have heard from your parents. As true as it might seem, this is definitely not a good way to start your college years. If you are not majoring in something you can see yourself doing, you are wasting your time. You can major in biology, go to medical school, and make the best grades. But if deep down you don't want to be a doctor, you will NOT end up being a good doctor. When it comes to picking your major, you really have to follow your heart.

3. Don't be that freshman who gets overwhelmed with the first taste of freedom

Yes. It is all very exciting. You don't have a curfew, you don't have rules, you don't have anyone constantly nagging you, but let's not get carried away. Don't be the freshman who gets a tattoo on the first night of living on your own. Don't be the freshman who tries to drink every liquor behind the bar. Don't be the freshman who gets caught up being someone that they aren't. My best advice would be to take things slow.

4. Don't be that freshman who starts school isolated in a relationship

I'm not telling you not to date anyone during your freshman year. I am saying to not cut yourself off from the rest of the world while you date someone. Your first year on campus is such an amazing opportunity to meet people, but people are constantly eager to start dating someone and then only spend time with that person.

Be the freshman who can manage time between friends and relationships.

5. Don't be that freshman who can't handle things on their own

It is your first year on your own. Yes, you still need help from your parents. But at this point, they should not be ordering your textbooks or buying your parking pass. If you need something for a club or for class, YOU should handle it. If you're having roommate problems, YOU should handle it, not your parents. This is the real world and college is a great time for you to start building up to be the person you want to be in the future, but you can't successfully do that if your parents still deal with every minor inconvenience for you.

6. Don't be that freshman who only talks to their high school friends

I know your high school was probably amazing, and you probably had the coolest people go there. However, I believe that college is a great time to be on your own and experience new things. Meeting new people and going to new places will allow you to grow into a more mature person. There is a way to balance meeting new friends and maintaining friendships with childhood friends, and I am sure you will find that balance.

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Remember To Live In The Present, There's No Reason To Be Concerned About The Past

Constantly thinking about the future will cause you to neglect the present.

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Everyone pretty much does this. During a moment when you're bored and you suddenly start daydreaming about the glamorous life you'll have in maybe five to ten years is not a problem in my eyes. It's normal to think about the type of life you want in the future. However, if thinking about the future causes you to ignore and miss out on what is happening at the moment then that kind of is a problem. Even though I know that constantly thinking about or worrying about the future is not good, I still seem to do it. It's a habit that is hard for me to break.

I have read many blog posts and watched many videos about how living in the present will make you happier. I've always been the type of person to constantly think about the future; whether it's about something as important as my career or something not as important like which set of pajamas I'm going to wear to bed. I've caught myself multiple times missing out on something due to zoning out and most of the time thinking about something that doesn't matter until later to come. I'll never forget the time I went to see pop and r&b; singer, Yuna, perform during my sophomore year of college. I remember I couldn't wait for her to perform my favorite song of hers. When she finally did I unintentionally started thinking about which classes I was going to take in the spring semester! As if that even mattered at the moment! I realized that I was missing the song and brought myself back to earth before it was over.

There have also been many times where I would lose some sleep because I would think about the future, and at times the past as well.

It has never been to the point of me not being able to sleep for so many nights in a row, but I know constantly thinking about the future or past, especially if there is stress added to it, could cause sleepless nights to occur. To me living in the moment is the way to live. Thinking about the future and preparing for it is not at all a bad thing. Even bringing up the past, as long as it is positive or it will be used for teaching is okay too! I believe that it's bad when thinking about the future and past stops you from enjoying what is happening at the moment. I am definitely going to try harder to be more in the present and to enjoy the moment myself.

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