To the first-year college student who has been told many times to "just transfer,"

I know how you are feeling because I have been given that advice too.

I think many people have the standard that college is always supposed to be perfect from the second we take a step on campus to the second our caps go into the air. Every hour we need to be surrounded by new friends, we need to attend every crazy party, we need to take advantage of every activity offered, every event held on campus, every possible chance to have fun.

If there is ever a passing minute, hour, or day we aren't having the time of our lives, we definitely chose the wrong school, and we definitely should transfer. Because in order to have the best four years of our lives, each day needs to be incredible, right?

Wrong.

College has been a continuum of highs and lows, of days when I felt like my life could not get any better and days when I question if I want to live at all. But this continuum is life and the beginning of college is a time when the highs and lows fluctuate like crazy.

At my low points, many people misinterpret that I am eternally miserable at my school (which isn't the case). As someone who takes a "tell-it-like-it-is" approach to my life, I am frank about this continuum when talking to others. I never try to feign that life is something that it isn't.

So they tell me to "just transfer."

Yet so many people entertain that idea in our minds if we ever give them an inkling that we may not be the happiest we could possibly be. And we become so soured towards our schools. If someone tries to convince us that we are better off somewhere else, the thought trickles into our heads that maybe we would be. Maybe we are super miserable.

Maybe we would be so much happier if we left. Maybe we should start fresh because all of our problems will just blow away, dissolve into the past. I know that after thinking about leaving, I sometimes become convinced that I hate my school. But I don't.

Transferring is often not the only option, nor is it the best.

People will give us this advice with the best intention—for us to be happy—so we cannot always fault the person who told us. After all, sometimes staying at a particular institution can be a crippling strain on someone's mental health and overall well-being.

Change can be good. But we live in a time when if everything isn't immediately picture-perfect, we just throw it away and try to find something better. We throw out our phones when a newer and better one comes along. We dump (or get dumped by) the person we love over a single mistake.

But we can't make a permanent solution for our temporary problems.

While we could escape the one issue that may hurt us, we could travel to a place where other problems arise. Believe me, the hardest part of moving away from home was to face problems myself rather than run away from them. I have to continue to recognize that I cannot just "go somewhere else" to make my problems disappear.

Life consists of working through problems and we all recognize that sometimes we have to deal with adversity. The frames of our first-year experience are not all Instagram-worthy. But we are growing, we become stronger, and therefore we shouldn't ask for it any other way.

And we have to remember that opportunities take patience and time.

Seeds don't blossom into flowers overnight, and we don't kill the seed. So why should we transfer? We strengthen ourselves through these challenges, and opportunities will arise. We just have to convince ourselves that while transferring is an option, it is rarely the solution. We are too strong to run away from our troubles and too wise to let a bright future go to waste. A bit of advice is too weak to shape our opinion.

Most importantly, as hard as it may be, focus on the positive. Remember people who helped you out, made you feel welcome, complimented you, motivated you. Remember the place on campus to which you'd retreat when school became too much. Remember that you were chosen by an admissions committee to make up the first-year class--the people thought you had something to give.

And remember you would leave all of this behind if you chose to leave.

Sincerely,

A first-year student who has been encouraged to transfer but didn't