It's officially been a month, a month of never-ending classes, a month of confusing schedules, and rushed dining hall meals. It's been a month of homesickness, fear, anxiety, but also excitement. I have successfully survived an entire month as a college freshman and I am just as surprised as you are that I actually made it. I remember months ago, all of my friends were posting what colleges they were getting into and there I was scared and frightened, not knowing if I would get in anywhere. Now that I'm finally here, it all doesn't seem real. About two weeks into the semester, right as I was starting to get used to things, I stumble upon Facebook pictures of my old high school friends with a new clique. My heart sank, my eyes watered, and it finally sunk in that I had been replaced . I used to be the one to make goofy faced selfies with her, I used to be the one going out to that one diner in town, I used to have a sort of "friend family." At the end of high school, my "family" was my support system, they knew my darkest secrets, they knew all of me...and now, now I'm alone.

After the one encounter on Facebook, I was glued to social media for good, looking at endless pictures of high school friends in their new groups and homecoming pictures, Instagram pics of bid day, Snapchats of roommates and of course, endless college parties. The more I was on social media, the more I felt bad about myself. "Why didn't I have a group of friends like that yet?", "Why haven't I been invited to that party?, I thought. The questions piled on top of me in the dead of night, crushing me into the corner of my dorm room, terrified to interact with anyone. It took me about another week to actually realize how horrible I felt being so obsessed with social media, and so I decided that I had enough. If I wanted to make friends and get involved, I had to put myself out there. I had to stop hiding away in my room and start running towards the insecurity, the uncertainty, the uncomfortable. I thought to myself,"If I am going to start making actual friends, I have to become comfortable in the uncomfortable. I have to break away from the bubble of safety and move outside the cage I locked myself into. Freedom and happiness happen when your curiosity overpowers your terror."

From that moment forward, I started getting as involved as I could in college. I joined The Spoken Word Poetry Club, The Earth Keepers Club, The Gay Straight Alliance Club, and even The Art Club. I went to the weekly hall meetings, started learning sign language, and reached out to more people than I ever did in all of high school. I'll be honest; I was overwhelmed. I thought that filling myself up with these things would make me feel less empty. In a way it did, but it wasn't the clubs I joined that made me finally happy--it was the people. Saying good morning to the school janitors, seeing the athletic teams win and feeling the joy of it all. I reached out to upperclassmen on Facebook and hitched a ride to the NYC NEDA Walk, where I met amazing people who I truly connected with. I was terrified of spending two-hour long car rides with complete strangers, but the whole trip was so worth all the anxiety.

I was nervous about making friends this whole time when all I had to do was jump in head first and have faith in the connectedness of humans. When I disconnected myself from so much social media, I actually felt more connected to people than I ever had been. The happiness, joy, and vulnerability, I felt from being involved with my college were more powerful than any amount of likes I could've recieved on any Instagram picture. This week, I want you all to make sure you spend time off of social media, make that connection with another human being--you never know what sort of amazing friendship you could start.