How To Fit In Freshman Year Of College

To The Freshman Girl Who Feels Alone And Like They Don't Belong, Everyone Else Feels The Same

Don't be fooled. You're not the only one, and it's okay.

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I remember that feeling quite well. Feeling like you have "friends" and people to hang out with and go to parties with, but you don't have real friends. You don't have anyone around you to really talk to about your problems and how you're feeling. You feel like everyone else around you is developing the best of friendships and meeting their future bridesmaids, and you're not. It's all too familiar.

You begin to wonder why you haven't yet made your close friends, and it makes you question if you actually fit in. The worst part is, you don't recognize that everybody else is feeling the same way. Everybody else is eager and looking to make new friends. But people forget this, and they think that everybody has already found their friends, which prevents them from reaching out to try to build new connections.

I certainly felt like this the entire first semester of my freshman year. To me, it seemed like all of the girls on my floor, my suite, and all around me were already the best of friends, and they didn't need to build new friendships, so I felt intimidated and afraid to reach out to them. On numerous occasions, I remember being sad that I didn't have "best friends," people to just casually hang out and talk with. In reality, no one else really did either. I also had set my expectations too high.

I came to college hoping to make my lifelong best friend in the first month when in reality, a friendship like that takes time to build. I didn't think about that, and I assumed that all of the friendships I saw through posts on social media were already at that "lifelong friend" stage.

It took me some time to realize that I was in the same boat as most girls. I recently attended a speaker event for my sorority, and during it, we had to pair up with a girl in a different organization and talk to them about our feelings of belonging. The speaker had told us that it would be much easier to talk to a stranger about this because they don't know you, they won't judge you, and what you tell them won't be relevant in two hours.

I told this girl about my feelings of loneliness and not belonging during my freshman year. To my surprise, she revealed to me that she remembers feeling the exact same way. By this point, I had already spoken to more girls in my sorority and my friends who had said they felt the same way, but I was still a bit surprised. It made me feel better knowing that I was one of more than just a few girls who had also felt like this.

The first part to not feeling alone during freshman year is being able to realize and acknowledge that other people are going through the exact same thing, regardless of the fun pictures they post with their "best friends" on social media. The second part is being patient and knowing that you will make friends. I had heard that sophomore year is the time when you really make your lifelong friends, and I have found that to be true. The time I spent feeling upset and lonely during my freshman year was not worth it, because I ended up making the most amazing group of friends I could've ever asked for.

So, to all of those freshman girls who feeling alone and doubt their belonging, don't. You are most definitely not alone. If you want to make more friends, just do it. Everyone is looking to make more friends. Don't worry; you will find your place. It just takes time.

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A Letter To My Freshman Dorm Room As I Pack Up My Things

Somehow a 15' x 12' room became a home.

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Dear Geary 411,

With your creaky beds, concrete walls, and mismatched tile floors, you are easily overlooked as just another room we were randomly assigned to— but you were different. Inside your old walls, I have made some of the best memories of my life that I will hold on to forever.

Thank you for welcoming my neighbors in with open arms who quickly became friends who didn't knock and walked in like you were their own.

I feel like an apology is needed.

We're sorry for blaring the music so loud while getting ready and acting like we can actually sing when, in reality, we know we can't. Sorry for the dance parties that got a bit out of control and ended with us standing on the desks. Sorry for the cases of the late-night giggles that came out of nowhere and just would not go away. Sorry for the homesick cries and the "I failed my test" cries and the "I'm dropping out" cries. We're sorry for hating you at first. All we saw was a tiny and insanely hot room, we had no idea what you would bring to us.

Thank you for providing me with memories of my first college friends and college experiences.

As I stand at the door looking at the bare room that I first walked into nine months ago I see so much more than just a room. I see lots and lots of dinners being eaten at the desks filled with stories of our days. I see three girls sitting on the floor laughing at God knows what. I see late night ice cream runs and dance battles. I see long nights of homework and much-needed naps. Most importantly, I look at the bed and see a girl who sat and watched her parents leave in August and was absolutely terrified, and as I lock you up for the last time today, I am so proud of who that terrified girl is now and how much she has grown.

Thank you for being a space where I could grow, where I was tested physically, mentally and emotionally and for being my home for a year.

Sincerely,

A girl who is sad to go

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8 Things We Do In College That You Probably Won't Tell Mom And Dad On Your Weekly Phone Call

A list of the things you do to spice up college life, shhh don't tell the parents.

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All of us are experiencing freedom and our own rules for the first time and sometimes we push the limits. So here's the list of the things we probably won't tell mom and dad we did when they call tomorrow morning.

1. Get a Piercing

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There's something sketchy about tattoo parlors and college towns. Overpriced, yet people are still lined out the door because they need a new earring or face piercing SO bad. Until they call mom and she's not happy.

2. Dye your Hair

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"Well I thought I'd change things up and Sussie had extra dye"

3. Get a Tattoo

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"I got this because I'm a _____ major and we love ______"

or the good ol' Ohio 110 logo.

4. Go on a Bender

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Sometimes you think wet week is a good idea. Sadly your bank account, your liver, and early classes think otherwise.

5. Junk Food Splurge

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You'll probably eat out too many times in a week and regret it later when you have a food baby.

6. Using the Credit Card for Drinks

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Money is all coming from the same place though, right? Truly sorry for this one.

7. Promiscuity

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Being away from home and having your own roof, sort of, lets you make any decision you want. Many students become much more sexually active and let their guard down about safe sex.

8. Bad Decisions

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Whether it's blacking out on weekdays, getting an unsafe ride home, or puking while showering, sometimes college gets the best of us. But I can tell you we have a hell of a time doing it.

Mom, if you're reading this, these weren't all my ideas I'm not that bad I swear! And students be safe and try and think before you do something that could make your parents very, very mad.... tattoos are FOREVER.

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