Ever since I was a little girl, I remember my family members telling me about college and how important my decision was going to be. They would tell me about their own college experience and what it meant to them. I heard about the countless opportunities attending a university would bring me. I would meet the friends that would be in my wedding. I would discover my true passions and talents. I would meet the love of my life. And after getting my degree, I would get a job and pursue my dreams. That’s a lot of great things, but I also felt pressure to check every single one off my list. My expectations were high.

Throughout high school, I researched various universities around the country. I was determined to find my perfect school. I toured schools in California and Colorado, convinced I was going to get out of Minnesota. I created countless pros and cons lists. I wanted everything to be perfect. I wanted to be happy and I wanted to make my family proud. When application time approached, I applied to four different schools: University of Colorado Boulder, University of Missouri, Kansas University, and the University of North Dakota.

Fast forward a few months and there I was, driving 4.5 hours from Minneapolis to Grand Forks. I was excited but nervous. I kept thinking about all the things my friends and family told me about. I couldn’t wait to dive into my own college experience. Not long after, I found myself fairly unhappy. After growing up in a small town, I was excited to get out, start over, and experience new opportunities. I didn’t see this happening for me in Grand Forks and I felt suffocated. I was constantly homesick for my friends and family. I felt that there was something missing, but I didn’t know what.

My freshman roommate transferred after her first semester, and I was disappointed. I thought, “Why doesn’t she just give UND a chance?” (Little did I know that I would be making this same decision about a year later.) I did my best to stick it out and make the most out of my freshman year. Then I spent the summer home with friends and family, hearing about all of their amazing college experiences, but I just couldn’t relate.

Change is not something I am used to or comfortable with. But that’s natural for humans. I went back to my pros and cons list and realized that in order to be happy, I had to be proactive. I applied to the University of Minnesota during winter break of my sophomore year. Immediately, a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I felt happier than ever and so optimistic for my future.

My problem with college was the pressure I felt from everyone around me. I felt like I was expected to have all my plans in order and my life all figured out. I felt like I should be having the “normal” college experience and not transferring after two years. I was scared of change, but the minute I got over this fear, I felt myself grow more than I had during my entire college experience.

Although the choice was difficult, I know there is a brighter future out there for me. Sometimes, you just need to choose yourself. Do what makes you happy, because in the end, all you have left is you.