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17 Titles Appropriate For Any College Student's Tell-All Autobiography

Welcome to four years of absolute insanity.

Faith Obringer

Sep 05, 2018

Miami University

3547

17 Titles Appropriate For Any College Student's Tell-All Autobiography

Jessie Hicks

College is a time and a half, and a lot of weird stuff can happen. Whether you're in the classroom, chilling in your room, out with friends or just running around campus, it's interesting to think about what would be included if your life were ever written about. While this is interesting, it's obviously better to get insane stories straight from the source, so here are 17 possible titles for your autobiography.

1. "Distressed Noises"

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What even is college anyway if you don't flip out over the most minor inconveniences?

2. "Adulting: It's Not On The Syllabus"

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Adulting is hard, but at least we're all learning how to do it together.

3. "What Is Sleep?"

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It's one of the most important things in college, yet we never seem to get any.

4. "I'm Dying, But It's Fine"

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Count your blessings if this isn't your lifestyle in college.

5. "What To Do When Someone Takes Your Unassigned Assigned Seat — Again"

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This is absolutely unacceptable. Don't be that person.

6. "Office Hours? More Like Nonexistent Hours"

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Pretty sure office hours for my classes only happen while I'm in other classes.

7. "What Are Taxes?"

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OK. I'm over here taking general education courses that are completely irrelevant to my field of study, but we're never formally taught how to do this kind of stuff.

8. "How To Stay Sane (Spoiler Alert, You Can't)"

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RIP to all the freshmen who think it will all be fun and games.

9. "A Day In The Life Of Death"

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Finals week. That's all I have to say.

10. "Not Even Four Espresso Shots Can Help This Paper"

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You know how sometimes professors assign papers to be way longer than should ever be necessary? Like, I could answer this question in about three to four sentences. Why on earth do they need over nine pages?

11. "I Survived The Meal Plan, And This Is My Story"

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Dining halls are the WORST, and I will not let anyone convince me otherwise. There's also literally no reason we need to be charged $13 per swipe for a meal that's barely edible.

12. "'This Is The Worst.' — Michael Scott" -Insert Name

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"'You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.' — Wayne Gretzky" — Michael Scott

13. "Ice Cream: The Ultimate Answer To All Of Life's Problems"

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Bad day? Fix it with ice cream. Good day? Ice cream. Great day? Celebrate with ice cream.

14. "Surviving Exams (Sort Of) Like A Pro"

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This is basically all college students the week before finals because they know they'll be #dead until their last exam.

15. "Surviving Breaks Without Friends"

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What's life without people to share your adventures with?

16. "Dealing With Reality After The Weekend"

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It doesn't matter how you spend your weekends. Monday morning is still a shock to your system.

17. "Sometimes I Even Procrastinate Procrastinating"

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Me: *Should be writing articles but does everything else instead*

Also me: *Should be doing everything else but is writing articles*

College is insane, and sometimes I question everything I'm doing. Life's always better when your best friends are around though, so at least you have people to get through it with. Just make sure to mention them in your new book.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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17 Titles Appropriate For Any College Student's Tell-All Autobiography

Welcome to four years of absolute insanity.

1. "*Distressed Noises*"

2. "Adulting: It's Not On The Syllabus"

3. "What Is Sleep?"

4. "I'm Dying, But It's Fine"

5. "What To Do When Someone Takes Your Unassigned Assigned Seat — Again"

6. "Office Hours? More Like Nonexistent Hours"

7. "What Are Taxes?"

8. "How To Stay Sane (Spoiler Alert, You Can't)"

9. "A Day In The Life Of Death"

10. "Not Even Four Espresso Shots Can Help This Paper"

11. "I Survived The Meal Plan, And This Is My Story"

12. "'This Is The Worst.' — Michael Scott" -*Insert Name*

13. "Ice Cream: The Ultimate Answer To All Of Life's Problems"

14. "Surviving Exams (Sort Of) Like A Pro"

15. "Surviving Breaks Without Friends"

16. "Dealing With Reality After The Weekend"

17. "Sometimes I Even Procrastinate Procrastinating"

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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