Rule Your Kingdom Like An Egyptian Queen

Rule Your Kingdom Like An Egyptian Queen

Take a note from Cleopatra VII's on how to be the BOSS (at least in ancient Egyptian times)

Have you recently turned eighteen years of age? Were you born out of incest between two royal siblings? Is your kingdom in desperate need of a new ruler?

Then you are in luck. You could be just like Cleopatra, who married her ten-year-old sibling and ruled the Egyptian world.

A wedding between you and your younger brother will assure that the royal line is kept clean and pure. Sure, you’re eighteen and he’s only ten. And yes, he’s your brother. But, incest is the basis for most happy, royal Egyptian weddings. You wouldn’t want to have an unhappy marriage now would you? So, marry your brother. He knows you best.

In case the whole wedding thing with your sibling doesn’t play out so well, and he suddenly decides to exile you to Syria, just raise an army and dethrone him. Cleopatra did just that and it turned out fine, well, for a little while at least.

If possible, also lure a powerful Roman ruler to your bedchambers. By forming a liaison with Julius Caesar, Cleopatra attained sufficient support to confront her brother, thus assuring her attainment of power. If you were to do the same, you’d probably also end up with an heir, whom you could name after your lover, just as Cleopatra did.

After making sure that your brother/husband has drowned in the Nile, you may then seek a new legal partner. For instance, Cleopatra married Ptolemy XIV right after her first husband’s death. And yes, Ptolemy was her much younger sibling. It’s not weird, okay? They were royals, not peasants.

Don’t worry, you may also keep your Roman ruler as a lover. Cleopatra never got rid of Julius Caesar and everyone just kind of accepted it. Well, the Romans weren’t too chipper knowing that their ruler was always away on “business trips” to Egypt, but, Caesar’s friends took care of that little problem. They assassinated him. A bunch of backstabbers they were.

In any case, if your new husband is struggling to accept your illegitimate child as the future king, treat him with a dose of the best form of persuasion there is. Poison. Ptolemy faced the same issue, but, Cleopatra solved the problem with a lethal dose of aconite and then everything was fine.

Once both your husband and lover have been murdered make sure to acquire a new cunning partner to keep you company, preferably another Roman ruler. Cleopatra found Mark Antony, who ditched his responsibilities to stay beside her. Sure, his co-ruler- Octavian- then decided to attack the Egyptian forces, but, at least Antony loved Cleo, right?

Finally, after learning that your kingdom has been defeated in battle and realizing that your new lover has been killed, proceed to end your life in glory and allow a lethal cobra to poison you to death. That ought to teach those Romans not to mess with an Egyptian queen!

Long Live Egypt, Long Live the Queen! (I hope Octavian doesn’t read this.)

Cover Image Credit: Flickr

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8 Reasons Why My Dad Is the Most Important Man In My Life

Forever my number one guy.

Growing up, there's been one consistent man I can always count on, my father. In any aspect of my life, my dad has always been there, showing me unconditional love and respect every day. No matter what, I know that my dad will always be the most important man in my life for many reasons.

1. He has always been there.

Literally. From the day I was born until today, I have never not been able to count on my dad to be there for me, uplift me and be the best dad he can be.

2. He learned to adapt and suffer through girly trends to make me happy.

I'm sure when my dad was younger and pictured his future, he didn't think about the Barbie pretend pageants, dressing up as a princess, perfecting my pigtails and enduring other countless girly events. My dad never turned me down when I wanted to play a game, no matter what and was always willing to help me pick out cute outfits and do my hair before preschool.

3. He sends the cutest texts.

Random text messages since I have gotten my own cell phone have always come my way from my dad. Those randoms "I love you so much" and "I am so proud of you" never fail to make me smile, and I can always count on my dad for an adorable text message when I'm feeling down.

4. He taught me how to be brave.

When I needed to learn how to swim, he threw me in the pool. When I needed to learn how to ride a bike, he went alongside me and made sure I didn't fall too badly. When I needed to learn how to drive, he was there next to me, making sure I didn't crash.

5. He encourages me to best the best I can be.

My dad sees the best in me, no matter how much I fail. He's always there to support me and turn my failures into successes. He can sit on the phone with me for hours, talking future career stuff and listening to me lay out my future plans and goals. He wants the absolute best for me, and no is never an option, he is always willing to do whatever it takes to get me where I need to be.

6. He gets sentimental way too often, but it's cute.

Whether you're sitting down at the kitchen table, reminiscing about your childhood, or that one song comes on that your dad insists you will dance to together on your wedding day, your dad's emotions often come out in the cutest possible way, forever reminding you how loved you are.

7. He supports you, emotionally and financially.

Need to vent about a guy in your life that isn't treating you well? My dad is there. Need some extra cash to help fund spring break? He's there for that, too.

8. He shows me how I should be treated.

Yes, my dad treats me like a princess, and I don't expect every guy I meet to wait on me hand and foot, but I do expect respect, and that's exactly what my dad showed I deserve. From the way he loves, admires, and respects me, he shows me that there are guys out there who will one day come along and treat me like that. My dad always advises me to not put up with less than I deserve and assures me that the right guy will come along one day.

For these reasons and more, my dad will forever be my No. 1 man. I love you!

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Why The Idea Of 'No Politics At The Dinner Table' Takes Place And Why We Should Avoid It

When did having a dialogue become so rare?


Why has the art of civilized debate and conversation become unheard of in daily life? Why is it considered impolite to talk politics with coworkers and friends? Expressing ideas and discussing different opinions should not be looked down upon.

I have a few ideas as to why this is our current societal norm.

1. Politics is personal.

Your politics can reveal a lot about who you are. Expressing these (sometimes controversial) opinions may put you in a vulnerable position. It is possible for people to draw unfair conclusions from one viewpoint you hold. This fosters a fear of judgment when it comes to our political beliefs.

Regardless of where you lie on the spectrum of political belief, there is a world of assumption that goes along with any opinion. People have a growing concern that others won't hear them out based on one belief.

As if a single opinion could tell you all that you should know about someone. Do your political opinions reflect who you are as a person? Does it reflect your hobbies? Your past?

The question becomes "are your politics indicative enough of who you are as a person to warrant a complete judgment?"

Personally, I do not think you would even scratch the surface of who I am just from knowing my political identification.

2. People are impolite.

The politics themselves are not impolite. But many people who wield passionate, political opinion act impolite and rude when it comes to those who disagree.

The avoidance of this topic among friends, family, acquaintances and just in general, is out of a desire to 'keep the peace'. Many people have friends who disagree with them and even family who disagree with them. We justify our silence out of a desire to avoid unpleasant situations.

I will offer this: It might even be better to argue with the ones you love and care about, because they already know who you are aside from your politics, and they love you unconditionally (or at least I would hope).

We should be having these unpleasant conversations. And you know what? They don't even need to be unpleasant! Shouldn't we be capable of debating in a civilized manner? Can't we find common ground?

I attribute the loss of political conversation in daily life to these factors. 'Keeping the peace' isn't an excuse. We should be discussing our opinions constantly and we should be discussing them with those who think differently.

Instead of discouraging political conversation, we should be encouraging kindness and understanding. That's how we will avoid the unpleasantness that these conversations sometimes bring.

By avoiding them altogether, we are doing our youth a disservice because they are not being exposed to government, law, and politics, and they are not learning to deal with people and ideas that they don't agree with.

Next Thanksgiving, talk politics at the table.

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