I was challenged the other day to sum up Hamlet in one tweet — 140 characters. In doing this, I was inspired to sum up other classic book (as well as movies, TV shows and school subjects) in short “tweet” forms. These are my takes on classics; maybe you’ll agree with me, maybe not. If you have any of your own or have a suggestion for a piece you think I missed, feel free to share in the comments!

Hamlet:

Ghost visits and freaks Hamlet out. He goes crazy and figures out new king is Dad’s killer. Everyone fights, then everyone dies.

The Great Gatsby:

Young man acquires wealth. Wants to be like the people with “old money.” Pines after long lost love. Doesn’t get her. Killed in his own pool.

Pride and Prejudice:

Five girls. Pretty one meets rich guy. Smart one meets richer guy, but hates him. Conniving soldier woos smart one then settles on dumb one. Richer man saves reputation of girls and marries smart one. Three total weddings.

Crime and Punishment:

Man commits murder. Goes crazy and thinks everyone knows. Gets hunted down and eventually confesses. Meets girl, who visits him in Siberian prison.

To Kill a Mockingbird:

Black man wrongfully convicted of crime. Lawyer Atticus teaches town not to be racist. Scout and Jem befriend scary neighbor. The whole town is still racist. Black man killed while running from jail.

The Princess Bride:

Beautiful commoner falls in love with farm boy. Farm boy seeks fortune and is captured by pirate. Commoner marries prince, who has her kidnapped to start a war. Kidnappers followed by pirate, who defeats swordsman, giant and intellectual. Pirate is farm boy. Prince tortures farm boy pirate, and commoner marries prince. Isn’t legal marriage, and farm boy defeats prince. Escapes with true love.

Harry Potter:

Evil creature tries to kill family. Baby doesn’t die, but wizard parents do. Baby grows up and goes to wizard school. Evil man/creature continues to try to kill the boy, and boy figures out ways to kill evil man. Lots of broomsticks and shenanigans and strange teachers.

Legally Blonde:

Girl gets dumped by BF. Gets into Harvard Law to win him back. Boy's new fiancée is mean to girl. Girl meets new nicer and smarter boy, who helps her solve case using hair care rules. Original boy wants girl back, but girl denies him. New boy and girl get together. Makes friends with manicurist along the way.

Game of Thrones:

Everyone wants to kill everyone else. People take their clothes off just because. Random relative or ally comes to save main character. At least two people per episode are being hunted down. Death and incest are rampant. #HOLDTHEDOOR

Friends:

Group of friends have odd mishaps in NYC. Apparently never go to work. Frequent a cozy coffee shop. All end up basically getting involved with each other romantically at certain points.

The Study of Sociology:

People tend to go with people that are similar to them. Humans are fairly predictable. Societies are man-made, and follow trends globally.

The Study of Chemistry:

Carbon is king. Certain things work together, or can be forced to work together, but lots of things cannot work together. Complex, large things can be made from very simple, small things.