I want to approach this topic carefully, because we all know it’s a heated debate – a place of hurt and uncomfortable feelings for many of us. I also want to approach it bluntly though, because we need to change the way we think about this topic.

There is a misconception that both the Christian and LGBT community have about the Christian view on people involved in homosexual relations, and that is: homosexuals are disgustingly sinful people and should be shunned from the church until they purify themselves.

So, if we’re going to be completely honest here, which I want to be because this is a serious and controversial topic, there is some truth to that statement. But hang on with me for a moment.

I realize that not everyone is going to agree, but this Christians versus LGBT is a crucial problem in the United States. It’s always been us against them; them against us. So I’m writing this because people need to hear this – whether you are Christian or LGBT. We need to stop viewing each other as enemies, and I know someone’s going to say some version of: “Well, they started it” or “They’re still perpetuating it.” This argument of blaming the other first – happens on micro and macro levels, but it all comes down to this: if you’re not going to make the first move, who will? Then someone might think: “Why is it my responsibility?” I’ll reply: “We should stop trying to make justifications. This change in mindset will at least make your life ten times better if you stop hating other people. Then maybe it’ll develop into a bigger change.”

First off, I don’t agree that homosexuals are disgusting or that they should be kicked out of the church. I get that each church has their way of doing things, but I want to challenge that. My goal is to dare the church to think differently, but by doing this, I hope to have LGBT individuals realize that we don’t want to and shouldn’t have this divide between us.

Some churches are extremely strict and reject anyone with anything that they determine a defect; other churches welcome anyone and everyone and proclaim that people can be whoever they want to be and do whatever they want. Both of these are correct in a way but are also wrong.

For the first extreme, let me get a little preachy, but stick with me. When were we, as humans, given the right to judge who was condemned or not? When did we start to believe that we were gods and could tell who was going to hell or heaven? That’s not up to us. The bible says that those who believe that Jesus died on the cross for their sins and rose from the dead will go to heaven. It even says so in the well-known verse John 3:16 – “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

It’s not popular to believe that there is only one way to heaven, but if we’re Christian and believe in the bible, it says in Romans 3:23 that “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” and Jesus even said in John 14:6, “‘I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.’” Thus, the only way to heaven is through Jesus. Perhaps this is a problem for the churches that don’t want to accept homosexuals because we like to think that we’re better than others; WE get to go to heaven for doing good works, by our own merit. However, we can never be good enough; there’s no such thing as perfect, so Jesus covered us with his blood (if we believe) and made us acceptable in God’s eyes.

This one way to heaven is also a problem for the second version of church that accepts everyone as they are: we can do whatever we want because there’s grace and God will forgive us. Yes, there is grace and God will forgive us, but the bible says that if we are partaking in habitual sin, we will not go to heaven. If we really love Jesus for dying on the cross for us, we wouldn’t do whatever we wanted to. That being said, the problem with the church that lets everyone behave in any and every way sends the message that habitual sin is okay, but it’s not. It’s not okay to take advantage of what Jesus did on the cross and participate in any form of sin on a regular basis.

There is a happy medium to all of this: to accept everyone as they are but realize that it’s not necessarily okay to do whatever they want. What does that have to do with the LGBT vs. Christian problem? Christians should accept LGBTs but both sides should acknowledge that it’s not okay to be involved in LGBT acts or behaviors. The reason I say “acts or behaviors” is because I don’t like how we define people according to their actions nowadays. I think that might be where part of the problem lies.

Before I get to that, though, LGBT readers, please hang with me here. I don’t want to condemn anyone – because as I pointed out before, I as much as anyone else does not have a right to judge. However, the bible says that homosexual acts are sin. 1 Corinthians 6: 9-11 says, “Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.”

If we’re not Christian and we’re LGBT, we might be wondering how this applies to us, so I’ll just say, it might not. Of course, I want you to believe that Jesus died on the cross for you, but I can’t force that. Overall, I want us, whether LGBT non-Christians or Christians, to realize that society created this misconception of how the church views LGBTs, but since I’ve already challenged the Christians to change the way they see homosexuals, I want us to know that Christians don’t hate or despise us. I know some Christians will read this article and stubbornly disagree with what the bible says nonetheless, but for those Christians who have sympathy for other human beings, they don’t and shouldn’t condemn us LGBTs.

The problem with the Christian view right now is that homosexual sin is considered a worse sin than other sins. However, sin is sin. A lie is as sinful as murder. I get the feeling that viewing these sins this way will make people think that it’s more okay to murder since it’s just like lying, but that’s still falling into the trap of the mindset that a lie is a simple sin. It’s not. Sin is sin. 1 Corinthians 6: 9-11 noted above shows that none of those listed sins will make it into heaven just as much as homosexual acts. Realizing this doesn’t let us sin more, it allows us to be forgiven because no matter how “terrible” our sins are from society’s perspective, we can be forgiven. LGBT is a sin, yes, but we’ve attached it to people’s identities, thus deeming them the worst kind of sin. However, if we view homosexuality as an act rather than an identity, it’s a sinful act. It’s just like people who have problems with pornography, anger, or addiction. It’s an act, a struggle, a temptation, but it can be forgiven. We can let go.

I know that some of us won’t want to let go of those acts; we want to keep living that way, and if that’s our personal decisions, that’s okay. I can’t stop people from not wanting to stop homosexual behaviors just like how I can’t stop churches from still rejecting people who struggle with homosexual activities. However, my emphasis here is that churches should be accepting of everyone while realizing that we all have problems and sins that we need to fix. We are all broken and sinful people, so let’s work on improving ourselves in God’s eyes together.

If you want more information on this, listen to this message by Pastor Shane Holden at First Free Church.