The "Christian lifestyle" is often condemned by what society considers right, normal, and totally acceptable. What does it even mean to be "Christian," emphasis on the quotations?

Throughout my college journey, I've been confronted with not only direct questions about my faith but also deeper, more personal questions, dilemmas, and choices that have seemingly reached out a sticky hand and slapped me across the face, smearing conflicting lines of "slut," "worthless," "prude" and "irresponsible" across me, like a personalized brander for the rest of the world-- or at least my college and church community-- to see.

When I entered college, I quickly became entangled in my first serious relationship. My relationship was a fast-paced roller coaster of new adventures, experiences, and feelings; even when I realized the love dissipated and was replaced by anxiety and manipulation, I felt trapped in an illusion of what both love and consent should be. I was disillusioned for fear of leaving the only "love" I had experienced.

I eventually realized that I would lose much more than my remaining sanity if I stayed in this relationship, so I broke it off, convinced that I would never find a relationship that wasn't manipulation disguised as love.

Flash forward a few years and I met an amazing, God-fearing man through a dating app of all things (talk about the fact that I'm a millennial, like, oh my gosh, #supesmillenn). What surprised me most of all was not just the ability but the desire we shared to discuss, bluntly, pretty personal, "taboo" topics. The topic of physicality quickly became not only an experience but also a conversation: What is too far? What does consent mean in the heat of the moment, and what does it mean in conversation? WWJDIB? What would Jesus do in bed? How can we be a God-fearing couple and still maintain a healthy level of physicality that a committed relationship not only desires but also requires?

We had a collective realization that there is no easy answer. But, there is an answer worth discovering; it is unique to each couple and, just like the Gospel, can be interpreted in many different ways. We discovered that for us, a healthy relationship is one where we intimately communicate our desires and needs when we're both sober, and not drunk in love, passion, and physicality. We discovered that certain physical acts, while they feel good, are better reserved for married couples. We discovered that we need to wait- not necessarily for marriage- for certain acts, but at least until we've been committed to each other for a longer period of time. We discovered that our relationship should honor and glorify God, and that this physicality- the act and discussion of- should present our bodies and love as a temple for God's holy love, not a breeding ground for feel-good intentions and lust.

Having consent in a Christ-centered relationship can will change. This doesn't make you a sinful heathen who needs to desperately tighten the iron-clad chastity belt around their precious genitalia. Ultimately, your perception of what is "Christian" will change as your relationship grows, changes, and matures. This doesn't make it bad- this makes it holy, God-inspired, and divine. Ultimately, your relationship is an ongoing conversation between not just you and your partner, but also God. It's great to make plans for all realms of your relationship- physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual plans- but ultimately, you are called to listen, accept, and follow the perfect timing and actions of your perfect creator.