Naive. Innocent. Goodie-goodie. Those are just a couple of names I have been called. Most of the time they are said in a loving manner, but of course, everyone knows sometimes these words have negative connotations to the ears of the receiver. I am a Christian, and I try to show that through my words, actions, and thoughts. That is why most of the time those words are often associated with my name.
But I am also a hypocrite.
To most people that know me they know, that is the farthest thing from who I am. Christians are supposed to be perfect, and on the outside, that is what people say that I am. I have the perfect family, the perfect, life, and the perfect relationship with Christ. However, people do not always see what is behind closed doors.
I struggle, just like everyone else. I struggle with vanity, pride, selfishness, lust, jealousy, doubt, anxiety, and the list could go on and on. Most of the time, Christians are blamed for being hypocrites because we are always supposed to make the right choices, and if we make a wrong one, we automatically put a stain on Christianity for those looking on the outside. It is a hard race we are running, but just like everyone else, we are human. We stumble and fall. But we get back up. Because we are not striving to BE perfect, but we are striving to be like the one who IS perfect: Jesus Christ. Of course, we always try to set a good example for others. 1 Corinthians 10:31-33 says, "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God— even as I try to please everyone in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved." However, even the best of us mess up sometimes.
Last Sunday was Palm Sunday, and our pastor preached about how some of the same people who were shouting "Hosanna!" (which means "save us") on Palm Sunday, when Jesus came into Jerusalem, were screaming "CRUCIFY HIM!" just days later when he was being offered up to take Barnabas' place on the cross. Then our pastor said something that struck me to my core. Every day we are shouting one of the two: "Hosanna" or "Crucify Him." Maybe we are not shouting "CRUCIFY HIM!" with every single bad choice we make. But maybe, just maybe, we are mumbling it under our breath...
To some, that may seem a bit extreme, but it is true. Christians do not claim to be perfect, but we do claim to try to love the one who willingly died for us with our whole heart, living our entire lives as a "thank you" for what he did. So, yes, maybe my life does look perfect on the outside, but I do struggle, and I do not always shout "HOSANNA!" at the top of my lungs every single day. But I am trying. And I hope that at the end of my life I can stand at the feet of God and hear him say "Well done my good and faithful servant."