Just like the feeling of love is unique to each person, an engagement story should be unique to each person. I don’t like assuming that there is one “right” way of finding an engagement ring. I believe it should be whatever method works best for individual couples.

I don’t see it as “my ring” or as a simple accessory. This ring is a symbol of our love for and commitment to one another. It’s not mine. It’s ours. Male engagement rings aren’t common, and therefore the ring that I decided on is considered our engagement ring.

I trust my boyfriend enough that I could have easily told him that I wanted to be completely surprised. However, we decided together that it would be incredibly special if both of us had a say in which ring we got. I did not choose my engagement ring myself, nor did I tell my boyfriend which one to buy.

Together, we went to a local jewelry store and spent hours looking at rings. I tried on nearly every one in the store, and we decided that a 1920s antique engagement ring would be perfect, as we both view ourselves as old souls. An antique was our first pick because we felt that it would be very unique to own a ring that another couple once cherished just as much as we soon would.

Just because my boyfriend and I found our ring together does not mean that I’m suggesting this approach for everyone. I’ve been questioned several times about our choice in finding one together, and I tell most people the same thing: it’s 2018. It may not have been a normal idea 10 years ago, but it’s what works for us. We don’t love each other any less because I won’t be 100% surprised by the ring when he kneels down.

It will be just as special watching my boyfriend get down on one knee with the ring that we both wanted as if he were to propose with a ring that he chose on his own. I don’t know the day or time that he will propose, and I’m okay with that as well. There’s still an element of surprise in that.

So ladies, don’t be afraid to go with your boyfriend when he gets your engagement ring!