Choose Your Words Wisely: Will You Really "Always Be There?"
Start writing a post
Student Life

Choose Your Words Wisely: Will You Really "Always Be There?"

Where’d everyone go? The reality of manipulation and being taken advantage of

81
Choose Your Words Wisely: Will You Really "Always Be There?"
Ben Blennerhassett

We all have told someone at some point ‘I’ll always be there for you’, but is there really intention and truth behind it? So often I feel as if this common statement has become overused and has transformed into a comforting lie. It’s only in rare cases that the people who say this actually mean it and stick to it, but most of the time, though they say it, they often don’t act on it

I have fallen accustom to believing this when someone says it to me… and each time it adds to the hurt when the disappointment prevails when their promise ‘to always be there’ ends up holding no truth. I know I’m not the only one who struggles with trusting this statement and I know I’m not the only one who keeps believing it may be different each time, that maybe when someone says they’ll be there they might actually REALLY be there. I hang onto this hope because that’s the type of person I am, the girl who means what they say. So when I tell someone I’ll be there, I’m going to be there for them… even if it means I end up letting them take advantage of me…

This has become a reoccurring pattern in my life. I form friendships with people thinking it's going well…they ask for things such as favors or to borrow stuff, they come to me when they need advice or honestly anything and I try my very best to be there for them. But then they begin to fade away once they get what they want… leaving me in the dust amongst my confusion and their words that still linger in my mind, ‘I’ll always be there for you’... Were those conversations simply a waste of my breath? Did you ever care? If I couldn’t provide for you would you have shown interest in a friendship? Did you mean it when you said those words? This phrase holds so much power and tells others that you care, but what happens when someone says it… but doesn’t act on it or show it, did they really ever mean it?

Do you ever feel like an inconvenience towards the ones you’re always there for? As if you feel like a bug that they want to just get rid of? Sometimes it’s hard not to believe the lies, that I’m not worthy of anyone’s attention, but I can’t help but believe them at times especially when someone seems to only come to you when they want something or seem to be getting something out of it through the use of you... But you continue being there for them because deep down you care and love for that person despite how much hurt it causes you. Despite the swirling questions of self-doubt and worth going through your mind.

It’s as if this sentence, ‘I’ll always be there’, holds some sort of magic power to pull people in. As if it automatically just opens the floodgates of trust and acceptance… yet behind it all, it can lead to the destruction of trust and the thought of worthlessness if not used in the right context or with purpose.

Each of us craves to be accepted, to know were worth some value to someone and this is why this phrase pulls us in because it reveals to us that that person cares about you and values you, and when that acceptance and trust is established between the two of you, you expect it to work both ways…some often it doesn’t though. I can’t say ‘no’ to them, to their wants and needs, to the favors they ask to be done; because I made that commitment to be there for them.

Yet I have come to learn over the years it just leads to being taken advantage of and people manipulate you. I give and give and give until I hit my breaking point. Hitting the floor in complete sorrow and frustration, feeling like no one cares about me. It might sound selfish to say, but just like these people asking, sometimes just sometimes I want someone to reach out to me. Show me that they really do care. That I’m not just an afterthought, that I’m more than a personal provider of people’s needs.

Why is it when I feel like I'm sinking and try to reach out to those who say they'll be there yet somehow they push what I'm saying to the wayside and once again redirect the conversation on themselves and their wants and their needs that I can help 'fulfill'. And once again, me being me, I fall into their clutches... Trying to please them and be there for them.

It’s funny how you can be surrounded by hundreds of people yet so rarely do they take a moment to reach out to you, leaving you wondering 'what’s wrong with me!?'. 'Am I not desirable as a friend or even a person?', 'Is my only purpose to be there for others while I'm wasting away?', 'can anyone see me or hear me?

Is it so wrong to hold onto the desire and hope of someone staying true to their words? Is it so wrong to hope that those people will take the time to check in on you and really be there for you? Well, it’s not. It’s not wrong at all, we are all humans, all with the same NEED of support and love from others. So next time you’re thinking of saying those short few words, remember how much of an impact they can have on someone. Remember that once something is said it’s hard to take it back, that it’s how you act on those words that make the difference.

"Words are containers for power, you choose what kind of power they carry" - Joyce Meyer

"Be mindful when it comes to your words. A string of some that don't mean much to you may stick with someone for a lifetime" - Rachel Wolchin

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

48821
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

31044
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

954848
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

180166
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments