I am 20 years old, a third-year undergraduate student, probably not going to graduate on time, a partner at Starbucks, a (published) poet, a music lover, a crazy dancer, a sibling to four, and just one part of a chosen family so big that it would take days to tell you everyone's name. I'm also non-binary and expect that people who know me use the gender neutral terms "they," "them," and "their" pronouns. But I won't fight you if you choose to disrespect me in that way.
I came out as non-binary and transitioned to using gender neutral pronouns exclusively in my first semester of college, so it has been about two years. But I've been "out of the closet" as a queer individual in some fashion since I was thirteen. Almost half of my life has been influenced by the perspective of being open about my queer identity. And that has brought a lot of love, joy, and pain to my life.
Entering into college and going through an almost immediate transition into who I had come to better know myself as was almost seamless. People at Michigan State hadn't known me before and the few I kept around (including my best friend) cared enough to make the change with me. But that seamlessness had an expiration date, and I started to have to fight for my identity and "justify" why other people should show the bare minimum of respect for me. And then just like that, my existence was political.
Since the passing of Leelah Alcorn and the politicization of the passing of hundreds of trans women over the last several years, it is an expectation of the trans community to fight for ourselves and do all the work for progress by ourselves. Screw that. My job is to survive and live as best a life I can while I take care of myself, my chosen family, and my peers. It's time that people outside the community started doing some of the work for progress.
I chose to end my battle with my peers who choose to misgender me months ago. So I'm asking my cisgender readers to pick that battle back up for all of the trans and non-binary people out there, because I can promise, they're sick of doing all the work themselves too. There are HUNDREDS of ways of finding out about a person's pronouns, which include looking at a person's Facebook (I know, groundbreaking, but truly a lot of trans and non-binary folks have their pronouns on their pages), and just asking them in person what they want to be called.
Sticking up for the way that people want to be referred to is the least that we can do for our trans and non-binary friends and fellow humans. Be intentional about the way that you communicate with others and stop letting laziness be the reason you show someone human decency.