There’s a magical place on this earth that exists. And it isn’t owned and operated by a mouse. It’s operated by gods that serve gold wrapped in foil and cardboard bowls. This place is heaven. Otherwise known as Chipotle. No matter what you get there, no matter who you are, it’s better than you. Scientific, historical, factual, and most of all—stuff I just thought about right now—proves this. Here we go.

1. It will never leave you.

That’s right! Chipotle is here to stay! It’s been through three publicized outbreaks of serious health and safety food violations and it’s still standing. Not only is it still standing, but at lunch and dinner time there’s a full-on line wait, still! Chipotle is here to stay! Cat ate your goldfish? CHIPOTLE! Missing that last puzzle piece? CHIPOTLE! Parents getting divorced? Okay, probably some therapy, but then CHIPOTLE!

2. It’s cool if you party with your other friends.

Everyone needs to spend some quality alone time, and that’s okay! Sometimes people get too clingy. Not Chipotle. It’ll still be there if you want to get a little nasty and go to Taco Bell. It won’t judge you or kick you out of coming over and hanging out the next day. Hey, everyone needs a little trash every now and again, right? Like that time you binge watched a whole season of The Jersey Shore in middle school.

3. It didn’t vote for Donald Trump.

Not only did it avoid this election, but it avoided every other election ever. A burrito, rice bowl, taco, nor a salad has the right to vote. It will NEVER talk politics to you and force you to agree with their ideas. Christmas would be a lot better if Uncle Tim didn’t bring his political “wisdom” he developed when he met his “girlfriend” Bambi.

4. It’s hot, but can also be cold.

We’re not talking yes then no, in and out, up and down; Katy Perry is irrelevant (to any 2017-2018 conversation). We’re talking about how it’s hot and nice and warm and delicious, but it can absolutely have the sour cream, cheese, and guac backbone combo to stick up for itself. Chipotle doesn’t need a relationship to fill the empty void that some feel. It’s its own person and it likes itself enough. So back off Moe’s! No one’s “gotta go to Moe’s”. That’s not even your slogan. It’s a choice to go to Chipotle. One that more people make than going through your annoying Walmart welcoming doors. Thanks, but I’ll stick to Target.

5. It keeps you happy.

We knew it was coming. And it came. Chipotle Queso. The perfect place just got more perfect. Not a guac fan? That’s fine ‘cause there’s queso. Not a queso or guac fan? (you’re a terrible human) That’s fine, there’s salsa. Three types of salsa. They have choices for everything. Mix and match and make it your own. It’s not stuck in its ways and neither are you if you’re more like chipotle.

So, I think we all can admit that Chipotle is the best. And you are, too. If you’re like Chipotle.